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Stupidness

Chapter 1

It was Saturday evening and I was walking down the street. My stomachs growling I’m very hungry, I should find something to eat. I walk into a Dairy Queens to find myself a treat. I get ice cream and burger and I pay the price for cheap. After all, it’s a hundred degrees, which is way too hot for me. I exit with my ice cream and run into Bobby Lee. He was a kid in my math class that liked to take my seat. He was crazy; he wore strait jackets and stood tall like a tree. I got scared; I turned around, just knowing he didn’t see. What I didn’t know is he already seen me and I was about to get beat. Without a word he throws a punch and it hits me on the cheek. I say, “Alright, see that’s ridiculous someone needs to get the police.” He grabbed me, choked me, good God I’m so weak. I dropped my food grabbed his wrist and told him “let me be.” His eyes widen with joy as he sees I can’t breathe. He searches my pockets for money but only finds my house key. He gets angry and chucks it a place I can’t reach. I kicked him in his crotch and then he lifted off his feet. Then he sits down in pain with his hands on his knees. I scampered up the road as fast as a flee, not cause I’m scared, I just had to go pee.

I run home and try my pinky where my house key is meant. I knew today would suck but not to this extent. I can’t tell my landlord because I haven’t paid the rent; and I can’t do that now because all my money’s spent. Then I get a text from my mom asking about the mail she sent. Now as lazy as I have been, the time to stop was then. So I ran to the post office and made it there in ten. It was a letter and check with a hundred bucks she lent’; which is enough to pay the landlord and lose every cent. So with money in hand, I wasn’t sure what to do. This would be a good time to begin Chapter 2.

Chapter 2

I stepped outside the post office bent down and tied my shoe. Then two cars hit each other, one was red, the other blue. The front driver got out, and so did his crew. The second driver stepped out like he didn’t have a clue. The first said, “You hit my car,” which actually was true. Then he cracked his knuckles and stepped closer and his friends did too. The guy said, “Everybody back off!” and the altercation grew. Now blah, blah the brawl happened and all the punches flew. It was nasty, it was brutal, it was cruel by my review. But overall, it reminded me of my ol’ friend Drew.

Now see me and my friend, Drew, we really liked to text. We were like eighteen years old so what’d you expect? So, I’m driving in my car and what happens next. Drew sends me a message about the party, at Greg’s. He writes, “Dude, Nancy’s here and she’s wearing a dress. I swear, man she has to have the hairiest legs.” Which made me laugh because we always knew that girl was a mess, we said “she didn’t give birth instead she laid eggs.” Then I glance at the road, as one of my frequent checks. Then Drew says, “I’m playing Poker and I’m winning all of the bets.” I’m thinking how weird is this party? What’ll they play next, Chess? He continued so I put my phone down and gave it a rest. It’s funny, “Texting and Driving” and the attention it gets. I’ve been doing this for hours and nothing’s come of it yet. He sends a message, or review about the rest of the guest. He sends another, I pick it up, and it’s about a girl that he met. Then I hear a horn and a screech like the sound of a hex. How in the heck did I cross the wall where the roads intersect? I’m in the other lane with some dude and we’re forming an “X.” Now I’m telling you, this part gets a little complex.

I hear a crash and a bang now I’m looking at my car. For an outer-body experience this is going well so far. This is what it’s like? The distance from where we are. Oh wait, there’s the hole, debris along with the glass shards. I felt like a fly that was taken and thrown though a glass jar. During the flip I fall forward and now I’m facing the tar. I hit a light post and slammed into the side of the bar. Then I got slung down the street about ten to twelve yards. I’m approaching the floor and I know this’ll leave more than a scar. God please I know I usually don’t play this card. Please be my cushion, be my savior, Lord be my guard! And guess what, I hit the ground, really, really hard. And as far as pain goes, I have no idea- where to start. I bounced a few times and got hit by a part. The guy was wearing his seatbelt; I thought that was pretty smart. He was fine, he walked over and told me his name was “Bart;” and I was fine too, perfect, everything but my heart. You see what the glass did to me, was truly a work of art. All of it hit my chest and punctured flesh just like a dart; it touched it a little- and poked it a little but left nothing there ajar. So in comparison to my accident, he came out okay. Alright, I think it’s about time we move to Chapter thray.

Chapter 3

And not speaking of meeting fathers, this is the day. I’m supposed to meet Mr. Arthur, and I’m going to be late. I run to her house fast trying to keep a steady pace. No sense in sweating profusely like I ran a track race. I knock knocked with the side of my hand, to give my knock some bass. My girlfriend opens the door and says, “What happened to your face?” ‘Forget it, where’s your father? I’ve been wanting to touch base.” I wanted to sound mature, adult-like, and show him my good taste. But we all know if I was serious and if that was really the case; I wouldn’t have worn this shirt that I bought and said I made, with this logo that I Googled and glued on with paste. And believe me it goes without saying that this shirt is a disgrace. So he comes around the corner and I’m standing there in place. We’re standing there in silence until the hand hits the eight. I noticed he was fat, and the silence had to break. So I say “I know I’m a little early; but I hope you haven’t ate.” Grace gridded her teeth so I guess I made a mistake. So we make it to the dinner table and the food looks great. So don’t mind if I do, if I go ahead and grab a plate. The father said, “You see that, he doesn’t even say his grace.” I figure. I missed it. So why participate? I continue, he says, “Wow, you know how to pick em’, Grace.” And I love almost everything, but that there I hate. She puts her hand on my shoulder because she knows me and my ways. But for my family, overreacting has always been a common trait. But I dropped it, then I reached into a bowl for a grape. He stops my hand and says, “You didn’t say your prayer, so your appreciation is fake. Be happy with what you got, because you won’t have any of our cake.” I got mad, I said, “Sir, you always say your grace, you do it every night, so let me eat for Goodness sake!” He stood up and leaned in close like we were on some kind of date, he said, “Boy, you raise your voice again, I’ll knock you out of this state.” I said, “Back up bro, if you didn’t notice you’re all up in my space.” The night was ruined and there was nothing going at this rate; and no one at the table can deny the trouble that I made. So I said, “You know what, excuse me, I’ll find the front gate.” After I said that, I didn’t know it would be a chase. He grabbed me by my collar and through me out like waste. I just said I’d find the door he’s such an over-reactor. I’m thinking lawsuit right now cause’ I think I suffered a fracture; but never mind that, on to the next chapter.

Chapter 4

Today really sucks I just had no luck. I suppose the best thing that happened was mom’s a hundred bucks. Now I’m out in here in the dark and this neighborhood’s nuts. I know someone’s watching me like “this guy has guts.”I gotta tell ya, I’m confused, I don’t know what’s what. This place is different at night and I’m caught in a rut. Three guys emerge from behind a truck; and I figure if I don’t look then they won’t know that I’m stuck. Then one flicks his hand up, and out of my peripheral my senses told me “duck,” and I dived, and I’m still alive now they’re looking from the side, looking at me crazy like, “who the hell’s this guy?” I know I’m not supposed to do that; and I know and I try; and my conscience said, “chill out” but I didn’t oblige; fear can make you look stupid and really unwise; but it’s moments like this when you actually realize: that bravery is only cool when you stand your size, but is stupid as hell when you’re the one who dies.

So failure is not an option- I ran off and found a cop then- I said, “I’m a little lost and I live up in Walton,” He said, “well go on ahead and hop in.” I opened the door and plopped in. He was cruising like a boss then- he told me he was lost since- he took a few turns and a few roads out of Cross Fence, then we floated around and saw the same rock once again and after all that suspense I had never thought since- this guy would turn in his seat and ask “when to stop then?” and follow up with a joke, “well that’ll cost then.” I slapped his hand and I said, “Well thanks a lot friend.” He laughed and I dashed- and after the moment that past- I just felt like trash when I saw an on-coming clash with the no-good, never could- be good Mr. Balderdash. I saw him; but if he sees me then this guy will give me a rash; and I thought how much dash could a Balderdash cast if Balderdash could dash fast? That’s when I noticed he wasn’t alone he was out walking his ol’ dog “Lass,” Just an old guy with an oven that leaked a little gas and watched his house burn to ash, a business guy who never hands anyone a pass and is too serious about loaned cash.

He saw me and said, “Hey, hold it right there, boy.”I said, “Sorry. In a hurry. Gotta go see the landlord.” “Boy who you really think you tryna avoid? You owe me eighty bucks and now I’m getting annoyed.””Hey Mr. B, you know I already said this before, if you take all my money then I’m obviously poor, and you know as well I do cause you tell me more and more, that you hate homeless people always hangin’ round the store.” He said, “No, the homeless are just people you ignore. They wouldn’t be in that position if they had fought in the war. Cause we’re tough as nails and we’re just too hardcore we tackle life at knees and take it right to the floor.” “I said, “Ha ha, you’re funny well I’ll see you Mr. Boulder.” “Oh so you think I already forgot what I told ya? Give me my money now, I didn’t get that much olda’ (older ;)” and at that very moment I felt a bit more bolder. I can outrun this old fool he’s a long retired soldier. I flicked him off and ran and I know that’s a bit vulgar. I hear a leash slap the floor now I’m glancing over my shoulder. I hear Lass barking, chasing as I glance down at his gold fur. This dog was running fast I just have to ditch Rover. I got clothes-lined by an arm and then I doubled over. My knee cracked my face I flipped closed like a folder. I hit my head so hard that the weather got colder. Before my vision went black I saw the arm was Mr. Boulder’s.

I woke in the morning, I was tired, and my first thought was, “ow.” I was on the couch, with a blanket, decorated, like a cow. I woke from the TV- and it told me- what’s coming on, now. And at that very moment, I laughed kind of loud. I haven’t seen this in years it was “Officer Proud.” And I remember this episode this is hilarious, wow. He busted some counterfeiting idiot with his head in the clouds. Now I know what you’re thinking, you want to ask me, “How?” Well you see:

Copper the “criminal catcher” caught Cameron “Counterfeit Cash Copying cashing and cash-in” Carter in a crazy clavicle-cracking car crash cackling and clapping before cashing his counterfeit copied cash corruptly in the case closing, cost climbing, cash cloning clash. Now after the patter and all of the clatter the detectives would
chatter and decipher what mattered. Derek detected doubling dollars daringly doubting
Donald’s doubts declaring dollars in dozens but Donald downed discovery drawing and
discussing the debt. Donald the police chief, considered the cost and the debt; but Derek knew it wasn’t the end of this yet, He thought, “this case is counterfeit dollars I
bet, I should investigate and see what I get.” Money was made and manipulated by minimal amounts of men managing making massive amounts mostly marketing markets and Derek maps movement of millions, miles like mazes with mayors meeting in motels
mediating March through May.

After I saw this episode I was left with nothing to say. But enough of that now, where am I anyway? That’s when Mr. B confronted me all dressed in gray. He said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you there, are you okay?” Well I figure after I saw your knee bend like clay, I’d figure I clear your debt so you don’t have to pay.” I tried to bend my knee to only find I couldn’t move it; and I said, “Good God, man, look at me I’m ruined.” He scratched his head and then he said, “I feel kind of stupid; but hey I got something downstairs that’ll help you go through it.” He went downstairs and the moment was lucid. I broke my leg on my forehead now it bends like fluid. If he comes back with nonsense I swear I’m gonna lose it. He returns with a wheelchair and said, “And it’s brand new kid.” It was electric, a Hoveround and I said, “Aw, man I knew it. I always thought these were awesome but never thought I’d get to use it.” I wanted to show my appreciation; but I couldn’t quite prove it.

Chapter 5

Genuinely, I was happy like a child, on his birthday with a clown; but what labeled this moment, was the silence and the sound. His eyes were happy for me, but his face kept a frown, an expression of guilt and uncertainty that left weight in pounds. Seeing through him into what he forget- and others lost- and I found. It was like time found him and burned everything to the ground, leaving him with nothing but himself and a memento as a mound. So, if you lose and fail, round after round, and life had to bound you to this small ol’ town where nothing can travel, not even his hound I guess it would feel pretty good if you could offer a way around.

Not to mention our bad roots, it must be hard to say, “Oops,” especially when you’re in no position to take a lawsuit. It must suck to work hard and have someone make-off with your loot. So anyway I ought to get going before I get me the boot. I’m not any faster in this chair I ought to take a better route. Now even though I’m in a rush, I can’t go out and catch a bus but getting home ASAP is obviously a must. I also need some medical attention by someone I can trust. I burned rubber on the pavement leaving skid marks thus; making it just in time for my last stroke of luck. It should go without saying exactly what we discussed. He took off the lock, and without a shock, the place looked rough. After all, the conditions just, I haven’t been here for a while everything collecting dust; but if one thing has a plus out of all of my stuff, is my Xbox which can always smooth out all of my cusps. I’m gonna swallow all my food like a vacuum does. Yup, there’s no place like home I couldn’t stress that enough.





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