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Money Money Money
Once upon a time, I was walking down a street when I found $120.00. The next day when I went to my English class in school and told my friend Zac. He said that he had lost 120 dollars. I told him that I wouldn’t give it back!
So Zac tried to hi-jack Miriam’s notebook when she was writing in it. Then she tried to bribe him into trading the notebook by giving the red hot Cheetos. In the end he still wouldn’t give it back. Then Miriam suggested a trade.
Because I was feeling nice, I decided to do the trade. Okay, so maybe I was hungry, and those Cheetos were lookin’ mighty tasty, and... Anyway! I traded Miriam's notebook for the chips. But before I could eat even one, she stole it right back! Talk about dishonest. Well, that’s Miriam for you, you do a trade, then in all reality you should just stop wasting time and just give her what she wants in the first place. Mama-Mia Papa-Pia Those girlies got Mono-polia!
At the end everyone settled down and stopped fighting. Then Mercedes found two hundred smacker right under her desk. Zac and I looked at it, looked at each other and we started to fight all over again. Then I talked to Mercedes and we decided to play a prank on Zac. So we gave him an envelope filed with money. Monopoly money!
Once when Zac opened the money and found the only type was Monopoly, I decided to be level-headed with this and split the money evenly. Afterwards I saw that Miriam and Zac were looking down a hole in the ground. I had dug the hole, and then I pushed them in. Waring my emergency gas mask, I jumped down into the hole, and broke ten bottles of chloroform to put them asleep. Leaving a note, I took all there money, drew a mustache and go-tee on there faces, and started to leave to Washington D.C..
“THAT SON OF A MANGLED RAGGET!!!!!”
I climbed out of the retched chloroform filled hole while holding my breath. I noticed that apart from having a Sharpie stench on my face, I noticed that Mercedes left a horrible hand written note.
Dear Zac, and Miriam, and Santa Clase, and Scoobey Doodoo, and Ester buny, and Chucky Cheesee nt da dol, da rat hoo givs pitsa, ad me;
I hav stoln yor mony amd an goin to ga 2 Woshinton C.D. i wil b hidin neer big white man hoo hats doves hoo us potty on him. He hav big beerd, and tpo hta.
Ill b in trash cn. dn’t com neer.
Tip o’ Car
Okay, I thought, time to find out how to get to Washington D.C. Then I noticed on the back that Mercedes left seven first class tickets to Washington D.C.
When we got the letter Zac and I had decided to go to Washington D.C. and try to get the money from Mercedes. So we went and looked exactly where she said not to look and there she was hiding from us. So we got in to a huge fight over who was really going to get the money then all of a sudden Zac hit me and I went down. Then he ran away.
While Miriam and Zac were fighting I decided that it would be a perfect time to try to run away. So I grabbed the gold bar that I had just stolen from the bank and ran away from the scene before they remembered that I was still there. I had ran all the way down the street and I was almost at the airport when I remembered that I had forgotten the suitcase that I had all the money in with them. At that point I turned around to go back and get the suitcase and Zac was standing right in my way.
“Give me that gold bar, you son of a mangled RAGIT!!!!!” I yelled holding out my hand.
“What da’ bloody ‘ell is a rabbit?” Mercedes asked tilting her head.
“Ragit; not rabbit, but it’s what my grandpa in Kansas calls these bunny's who keep eating his plants and live under his shed.” I explained.
“Are ‘dey’ Easter Ragits?”
“Ugh; yes, they’re all related to Peter Cottontail, and we invite them over for tea and cookies every rabbit hunting season. God damn, you were dropped on the head tons of times when you were little wernt you? I mean, seriously, how the hell did someone like you even take a fourteen karat gold bar?”
“World of Warcraft: Steal 14k Gold bars from the US national bank and become a wanted criminal for life, rated G”
“G is for movies, not video games, and ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!”
“Okay... can I have the gold bar?”
“Yup. and hear is the suitcase, Miriam took the decoy.”
“You’re smart enough to make decoys?”
I checked the case, and there it was: All of the money, not a penny less!
“One last thing, can I see you money and passport?”
I took Mercedes (She also happened to have Miriam’s what luck!) passport, and bought a privet jet to go to Egypt. Oh yeah! I still got it! Both those girls just got hoodwinked! In yo’ face little girlie's!
When I had finally woke up after Zac hit me, I realized that Mercedes did not take the suitcase that had all the money in it. I ran over to the suitcase and ran over to the airport so that I can get a ticket to Paris, France. As soon as I got to Paris I rented a Five Star hotel in its Master Suite and waited for them to try to find me. I was there for almost there for two months when I decided that I was going to live in Paris permanently. So I found a great Mansion and moved into there wondering why they had not arrived here yet looking for me. When I had finally ran out of money I went inside to my safe and grabbed the suitcase. I opened it up to get some money out to see that the suitcase was packed full o’ ten dollar billed monopoly money. I was ticked.
So, after I foolishly gave Zac all the money, and mine and Miriam’s passports, I now had the issue of trying to get new passports and trying to find him. The next day, I was looking through the newspaper and I saw an add that said they would do anything for the right price. “Sweet. That was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.” I thought. After writing down the address I ran as fast as I could all the way across town, to a run down bar. I knocked on the door and was told to enter. As soon as I walked in the door though, I was meet by a foul odor and almost immediately lost consciousness, but not before I saw my once friend, Miriam.
Dear reader, this paragraph is for singing! Have fun with that you perverted FREAK!!
Thank you NERD!1-point-2-point-OH!
Testing, Testing, Testing, Testing, Testing 123, COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILIAR!
NOW YOU SEEEE ME, FOR WHO I AM, NOW I’LL SAY THIS: HEY YOU ARE SUCH A NERD! DO NOT TAKE THIS, AS A COMPLIMENT! NOW GO AWAY, YOU SON OF A, MANGLED RAGGIT, OR I WILL TEAR IT!
GIVE ME ALL THE GREENS OR I WILL BE MEAN! BY THAT I MEAN M-O-N-EY! MERCEDES, AND MIRI, UMM-IEE, YAAAAAh!!!!!!!!!!!
Singing over, Now GET ON WITH YOUR PETTY LITTLE, WORTHLESS LIFE!
“Nice try on the theme song guys, but not not good enough.” I told the wanna-be band.
“But since you didn’t get it right, and you know where I live, I am going to have to Keel hall ya’.” I smirked.
“Wait, wha--” I Push a button on a remote control, and they go sleeping with the fishes. I can’t say how.
LIfe is good. Just the way I like it.
When i woke up i found that i was in a old abandoned bar and i don’t know how i got there. but i found piece of paper and it had a address written on it:
465 North Simpson's st Rickson, new york
Where in the world is that i wondered as i tried to find a way out of the bar. Then all of a sudden a man walked through a hidden door and looked at me curiously.
“So how in the world did you wake up already little Missy?” He told me totally confused, but i was to shocked and scared to answer his simple question.
“Well are you going to answer my question or not?” He asked me impatiently.
“Where am i, and why cant i open any of the doors? i would like to go home.” I stammered.
“ Well that’s not very likely.” He told me. Then all of a sudden he started to advance on me.
“Please stay away from me. I..... what did i do? Why are you keeping me here? Can i please just go home?” I asked him, but i had myself cornered and there was no way to exscape.
“ now you are going to be a good girl and go to sleep quietly. OK? Good night little Missy.” He whispered to me as the room was suddenly filled fill some sort of gas that made me really tired.
After being knocked out for a few hours i woke up in the middle of the dessert. It was squelching hot and I was extremely dehydrated. I looked around and the only thing that I could see was someone a few feet away walking straight towards me.
“Oh crap. They are coming for me again. Where in the world am I going to hide in the dessert?” I asked myself. So not knowing what else I could possibly do I turned towards the approaching person and readied myself for a fight. Unfortunately as the figure came closer I realized to my relief that it was only Miriam.
“ Oh thank gos its only you. I thought you were one of those people who put me here in the first place.” I told her relieved.
“ Hey i have a quick question do you know where exactly here is by any chance, because I would really like to go back home so I can find Zac and get my, I mean our passports and find him, so that I can get the money back.” I asked her.
Then at exactly the same time we saw a huge house on the other side of the hill and we both froze.
“See to it that the scorpion traps are set.” I murmmer drowsily. “I don't want those two to get too close to the safe.”
“Eh, sorry boss, but we can’t. The scorpions are dead. Jimbo forgot to feed them.”
“Okay, just stop. This is insane! why are we shooting out here in the middle of a dessert, not protecting the actual money hidden in the pyramid of Giza; and you want me write a stupid old style gang script for a low budget movie?” I stop typing and look at both Mercedes and Miriam.
“Well, of course. We just don’t want you to go to The pyramid of Alexander,” “No Mercedes, it was the Giza thing” “Okay, then that bakery with safes scorpions so we can get green leaf coloring paper.” commented Mercedes.
“You know what? take these camels and start heading south. You can go get the money. I’m done with all this chasing and fighting and yadyyadyyada.” I tell them. they hop on to my only two camels and ride away.
“Idiots. The pyramid of Giza it North from here. And there’s not another village south of here for hundreds of miles.”
I hop into my new sand buggy, a car specially made for dessert travel, and start heading north to the Cairo airport. My money is in a safe, along with Mercedes and Miriam’s passports. Not in a pyramid, but in a bank in Oregon. I smile up to the cloudless sky.
So after wandering around aimlessly for days until we reached the next town and were told that we were going the wrong way and the pyramids were in the opposite direction me and Mercedes decided to just go back to Portland, because we were tired of chasing Zac all over the place. So we wandered for a couple more days North until we came to the pyramids and the only area where they allowed airplanes to land, bought tickets to Portland Oregon and came back to Roosevelt High School to try to lead a normal life as teenage girls only to come into our third hour English class to find Zac sitting in his usual seat with a computer typing out our adventure. So now all that is left of our journey is a paper that we wrote and all of our memories.
After great discussion, Zac, Miriam, and Mercedes decided (without fighting for once) to split the money into an equal three. Zac had saved his money in the bank living off of some of the interest and investing skillfully to various business that just happened to be a huge success.
Miriam went and bought a shoe store in Paris, France and quickly went through and profited from all of her great sales, and new designs, but continued to finish school and open up more stores throughout Paris.
Mercedes on the other hand well she went through and took her money and with a lot of encouragement from her family and friends took a writing and grammar class to improve her horrible spelling then spent the rest or her money on helping charities around the world. That, and the rest of it her family told her to save in a bank. Ignoring - or more like forgetting or not listening at the time - her family, she used up all the leftovers on sock puppets. But she kept one penny for herself.
“Because it was so shiny until I dropped it into a pile of gold, and got dirty. I was so angry, I buried all of it, hit my head against the penny until I forgot where the golden city was! I hope my family will be proud!”