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The tale of Franklin bagel
Let the common man not read this story with a light mind and a heavy heart, let him read the tale that has come to be the hidden man against the wall, the shining look upon your last hour, and your final thought before wiped away from all mind until the next encounter. This is the story of one who could strike down the heavens with a single glance, let the muse bellow with joy that all dark times are gone thanks to this godly figure, This is the story of Franklin Bagel.
Though you may ask yourself how this lord came to be, how we rest our heads at night dreaming of only sugar plumbs and fairies while “he” is keeping us safe from all that is evil. All had begun in dark time, longer then any of our feeble minds could remember, some would call it “The bush Admistration”. While this time was going on, homes and families were running in terror and fear only in hopes of finding refuge. With accusation after accusation of people being “Bush lovers”, life span was at an all time low.
This was close to the time when young Franklin had been in the care of his maternal, only to be the age of seven. He (even a god) was scared of what h*ll would be brought to his world when this had all began. His family was constantly fleeing due to young Franklins greenish skin pigment; people teased the small boy, with names such as “cucumber head”, “Pickle face”, and “Dill”. Poor Franklin was persecuted soon after the election due to the newly sworn in President having said he was gifted with a Green thumb; Franklin was soon chased due to his color and thought to be a Bush lover.
While Franklin and his family ran as long as they could, they where finally corned in a field not far from the border to a state free of persecution; Utah, once caught Franklin’s family was thrown in jail, but unfortunately for Franklin the people where not so merciful. They drug the poor boy to the prison basement were a vat of pure vinegar was hidden under the floor boards, the tossed Franklin into the vat. He yelled and screamed for his life in fear of drowning, but once thrown in they had closed the hatch and locked it shut.
The Gods had smiled upon the young Bagel as the vat was built not to drowned but merely to detain, Franklin could stand on his own but could not reach the latch, he could not see the world around him, with all hope lost Franklin could only sit in the liquid and wait to ether die or be freed. This was a fate worst then death for most, but was a blessing for the young boy.
Time had long passed as Franklin sat amongst the vinegar, it soon had a reaction upon his body, he grew plump with mussels from the liquid filling his pours and crystallizing, along with expanding his body, soon this young boy had turned into a man, as years passed The spiteful rage that had once fueled Franklins body with revenge had turned into only want of freeing this land from the grasp h*ll had upon it. He meditated with thoughts on how to escape from this prison, while in that meditation Zeus had come to Franklin the a vision, “Franklin Bagel you must stop the Bush administration, with the stopping of bush you will save your world from crumbling, lets the gods of the heavens guide you upon your quest to save all that is beautiful.”
Franklin had finally found purpose after almost six years of being locked away. The next morning he stood himself high and tall reaching the latch in which had held him in his h*ll. With a flick of his fist he disintegrated the latch wide open, he sprung to the ground and fresh air filled his lungs. Two guards had been waiting for his breaking with swords drawn and prepared for battle. A smirk drew from Bagel’s face as he ran directly into the guard’s path.
The guards glanced at the size of this now godly Franklin, and fear of being slaughtered had caused them to fall to the ground allowing Franklin to capture both of their swords. With the power of the Gods deep inside of him, Franklin Meshed together the two blades with lighting and fire, creating a weapon of pure gold and impervious to anything that may touch it. Franklin gave a slight jester as with a touch of the blade blew the wall away creating a path of freedom from our hero. The sun had touched his skin and blessed it with care.
Franklin finally escaped from the prison in witch had held him now running his way to the find where Bush had been hiding. Franklin searched for many months on where this monster had laid, spreading word that all should upraise against him. In his far travels he met many people of this great nation and grew word of a great power that lies within a town that has been forgotten, with much haste made Franklin drew in on the whereabouts of this lost town. Deep within it where people of great knowledge and undying will for the common world.
These people where called the Amish, once Franklin had arrived he was greeted with great care, the Amish told Franklin that he was chosen to do battle with a evil monster and free the world from a never ending war that was soon to come. Franklin spent many months training to fight, and learning the ways of the Amish in order to understand the defeating of Bush. Once his training had been fulfilled Franklin asked if the Amish would fight by his side, with a tip of there hats and a smile upon there faces they gladly agreed to fight along his side.
With the time finally coming toward there epic battle Franklin had learned that Bush had resided deep within Washington DC in a lair called “The White House”. Franklin drew together his army of Amish; they soon took the ready for a great battle, but before leaving the land in which they called home; they presented Bagel with a gift, “The mighty hat of infinite knowledge”, this hat gave great wisdom to the wearer, it soon sprouted the beard of pure happiness drawing a smile from cheek to cheek of Franklin; he was prepared. Franklin and his mighty army marched on Washington and prepared for battle not knowing what may lie ahead.
To Franklin’s surprise there alone stood George W. Bush, the monster himself, standing with no army; this man was purely insane. Franklin and his men stood ready for war, with a draw of his blade Franklin ordered his men into battle. Wave after wave of soldier rushed at the lone president.
For the age of the man, Bush’s body moved with speed that only Franklin himself could have possessed, this “man” was not human. The soldiers had gone into a scucided mission, but fought with pride and honor. After whipping away all that stood against him, Bush happily stood there with a smirk of pure evil across his face.
Franklin’s people stood fallen onto the ground, but his mind was not altered. With great speed and strength at his side Franklin drew his blade, preparing for the final battle. He took first speed and ran at the President with blade high and ready to fight. He had reached Bush and swung with all his might, the power of the shock caused a crater to from on the ground around all that was Washington. Dust flew high within the air covering all eyes from what had happened.
Once the dust had settled it seemed as though Franklin had drawn a perfect blow As blood tickled down onto the ground he glanced to see there where two droplets of blood. While his blade rested deep inside the shoulder of the evil Bush. A tentacle had been lodged into Franklin’s shoulder as well. The eyes of both Franklin and Bush met only to see both in pain, Franklins soon learned all that had become, with eyes widen from the revelation of this world. Bush bounced back with only a smile upon his face.
Bush’s body soon began to budge against the skin as tentacle after tentacle jutted from his body, soon growing to massive size the mighty bush had shown his true from. The great Kraken Bush had immerged into the world. Franklin could only watch in horror at what has been put into his path. He could not give up on his quest, he had to stop bush. Franklin lunged directly into the kraken taking slice after slice at the monster, but after every blow a new tentacle would grown in its place, there had to be one place that was week, Franklin fell back to examine the beast. There was no true way in which he could reach a point in which he could hit a vital part of the Kraken’s body. It seemed as if all hope had been lost in the world and that Bush would rain supreme for years to come.
With the world seeming at its darkest, to Franklins avail a young Japanese man had walked on to the seen with a smile on his face. He had come to see American culture at its finest. Waving a Japanese flag proudly, boasting with cheer, Bush’s eyes had lost gaze of Franklin and focused on the small man. Franklin had seen his opportunity, reaching for the Flag of the Young man Franklin hurled the pole like a javelin directly into the chest of the evil Kraken, pinning him against the white house. The pole had hit the spinal column of the Kraken paralyzing him from the neck down. This was Franklin’s chance; he sprung to the air with sword a blaze and sliced the head of the Kraken and severing it to the ground.
While light and joy had filled the earth, Franklin removed the foul beast from all of humanity with a helpful dose or kerosene. He lit the match and let the heat from the body warm the poor and oppressed for years to come. The world was now at peace and all was safe, while the people of Franklin’s home wanted to make him there next president, poor Franklin could not accept this as he had too much power as it was.
With his fate finally met and his life given meaning, Franklin Bagel flew the pole in which he killed the Kraken with off into the never ending void that is our world. While some say this is all a myth and that there had never been a green man of such power, one girl had seen the now older Bagel fishing deep in the waters of the very center of the Pacific Ocean, fishing with a smile on his face and the very flag that paralyzed the evil Kraken waving freely.