Bob the Baby

January 20, 2011
By Bruins BRONZE, Park City, Utah
Bruins BRONZE, Park City, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Bob the ambidextrous baby had great dexterity. In addition to being able to perform tasks equally well with both hands everything he did was surprisingly skillful. At the young age of two he could already play football and basketball amazingly. He was so adroit in these sports he already played for competitive teams. Although he specialized in two sports his aptitude for all sports and activities was incredible. Overall Bob was an extraordinary two year old.

Despite being very gifted in athletic events Bob the baby was very destitute. He had lost his all his money because it fell out of his back pocket while he was running a triathlon. His indigence was unfair and unjust. His frugal lifestyle was strange given his skills in sports. It was unfair how he was forced into an economized lifestyle.

Bob had more problems besides just being poor. He was terrified of a mythical creature known to babies as the pacifier snatcher. Due to his extreme trepidation of this beast he had used his dwindling finances to purchase a theft proof safe where he kept his pacifier whenever he wasn’t wearing it. He was so intimidated by the pacifier snatcher that he believed if he ever left his treasured pacifier alone he would never see it again. He believes he saw this creature once. It had beady black eyes, a fierce eagle looking beak, and butcher knives for claws. However the most terrifying thing of all was the creature’s deafening bellow. It was a mixture of a fearsome lion’s roar and a snake’s sinister hiss. After seeing and hearing the dreadful pacifier snatcher Bob was so timid he could barley walk outside and would never leave his favorite possession, his pacifier, alone.

Bob the baby also had an identical twin named Joe. Despite Bob’s poverty Joe was unbelievably affluent. He hoarded gems and gold like a dragon, in his old, creepy mansion. Every second his avarice grew and he had become obsessed with money and jewels. His coveted expensive objects so much it had turned him into a monster. However, his twin Bob didn’t know this but would find out soon enough.

One day Bob decided to visit his brother. He walked to Joe’s mansion and stepped inside. He trotted to the center of the mansion and was startled by what he saw. It was the pacifier snatcher. Except its eyes seemed lifeless. Now that he was able to view the creature closer he noticed more than he had before. It was all black and grey. Also, it had daggers for teeth and its tail was a snake. In addition its head looked like the head of a dragon. However, what he noticed most of about the creature, was that it wasn’t a creature at all but a machine. Then suddenly the head began to be lifted like the top of a cockpit on a plane. He was appalled by what he saw. His brother was sitting inside the head! Bob stood with his feet glued to the ground staring up. Then his brother yelled “I am the pacifier snatcher.” Before Bob could say a word the head closed back down and the machine rose off of the ground and began to attack him. He jumped out of the way as the mechanical snake attempted to bite him and then dodged a kick from the machine’s kangaroo like legs. Then something changed inside of Bob. His fear of the beast turned to audacious courage. He felt indomitable. He began looking for a weakness in the machine that he could exploit. Quickly he found a button on the bottom of the machines leg that said self-destruct. So he took out his treasured pacifier and threw it at the button. After the button was struck a mechanical voice stated, “15 seconds to explosion.” Bob sprinted out as fast as he could and jumped as far as any baby ever has as he leaped out the mansion doors just as the explosion incinerated everything inside. Even though it had cost him his pacifier Bob had defeated his evil twin. He had made it safe again for babies and their pacifiers.

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