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Alone

He opened his lips, but before anything came out, I heard a loud screech. I looked up and saw a tractor trailer truck speeding at us. I shut my eyes, I didn't want to see this.

I lay on the cold cement floor, wondering when my father will ever let me out. I had thought long and hard for why I should be down here. Alone. Was what I did really that bad? These were some of the questions that frequently filled my mind. My entire body was numb. I was cold and lonely. I want so much as to see the sun. Even if it was for just one day.

I wanted my family to be the loving ones that I had read books about when I was little. I was twelve now. I don't know how long I had been down here, but it felt like forever. I wanted to talk to my mother, she was the only one in this house that really cared. I use to be really close with my dad. We could go fishing and camping on the weekends. I wish we could go back to that, but I knew that wouldn't happen.

My father had changed. He always seemed to be drunk now. He would yell at my mother, and sometimes in the evening I could hear the sound of his rough hands hit something. I got tears in my eyes when I thought of this, because I am really the only person that knows that my father isn't what he really acts like. Sometimes it is even hard for me to try and see him the way he was before all of the “stuff” happened.

There was a rule in our house. No one was allowed to talk about all the things that my father had gone through, in the past couple of years. The thought of all of this brought tears to my eyes.

My father would wake up early in the morning to make sure that I was still down stairs. I didn't know if that was because he loved me and wanted me to stay forever or if it was because he thought that I would run away and try to find a better loving family. I had many dreams about kind families that came to my house and adopted me. I wish that would happen.

I love my parents, but each day it feels like I am more and more away from them. I wish that I had friends like most kids my age did. When I was younger I would go out on hot summer days and run around like a normal kid would of done. As time went by I began to feel more and more abnormal. I wish I was a kid again with nothing to worry about. I had so many things to worry about like if I was going to make it another day, without food and water.

The cement floor was uncomfortable, so I didn't get much sleep. I wish I could re due what ever I had done wrong, so that this punishment could be over and we could go back to living the way it use to be. Right now I wished that I was part of a fairytale and I could make one wish...... I knew what I would of wished for. It didn't take me very long to decide.

I wanted a new life. I wanted one that I didn't have to be afraid of. I wanted one where my family loved me and I could trust them. I could hear the slam of the door, when my father left that morning.The I heard the sound of my mother crying. I hated that sound, because she was better than that. She needed someone that cared about her and how she felt.

I walked up to the top of the stairs as quiet as I could. I heard my mother slowly walk to the door that had kept us apart for so long. I climbed slowly back down the steps. I didn't want to her her voice. She didn't even try to stand up for me. She just let my father put me down here. With nothing. I hadn't had something to eat since I had come down here. I don't know how long that had been. I needed someone to help me. To get me out of this cruel place.

I wanted to go some where were people took care of me and loved me. I had thought long and hard about escaping this place, but I didn't know where to go from there. I didn't have friends, because I was home schooled. But they only home schooled me when I was upstairs, not when I was in trouble in the basement..... I didn't like saying that word. I always tried to forget that. To forget that I was down here, with nothing but myself. I heard the door open. It was dark down here. There were no windows, so when the door opened it felt like I was looking at the sun.

As she slowly walked down the creaky stairs I saw that she was carrying a brown paper bag. She walked closer to me, she bent down and started to cry. I was wondering what was happening, she handed the bag to me and said not to tell my father. I opened the bag slowly and saw that she had packed a small pack of food for me to eat. She gave me a hug, but I had no energy to give her one back. I didn't know why she was doing this. She had been caught three times before. When ever my father had caught her the first time, she made it sound like it was my fault. I have been down here since that incident.
When my mother walked back up the stairs I heard my father walk through the door. He must of gotten out of work early. My mother tensed up. She stopped dead in her tracks. She looked at me and I looked at her. You could tell that my father had been drinking that night because, every few steps he would stubble and fall. My mother began to cry. Why does he make her go through this everyday? She slowly opened the door, and the bright lights came again. She quickly shut the door behind her. My father was calling to her I could hear her run up the stairs into the living room on the second floor. She was lucky that she didn't get caught. It was to close. I didn't want this to happen again.

I wish I could go upstairs, and our family could be normal again. Normal was a big word, but my family was anything but normal. We didn't have any friends so we weren't very social.

I use to have a friend named Anna, but when I stopped going to school in Kindergarden we stopped seeing each other. I have never had a friend over. I am to embarrassed of my parents. I am scared of my parents. I wanted to know if they loved me. I wanted to know if they cared. I wanted to know if they even wanted me.

I heard the footsteps on the stairs again. I saw the ray of light get bigger and bigger as it opened the door. It was my father. He looked like he hadn't shaved in weeks. He stumbled down the stairs, so I could tell that he had been drinking. I started to cry, I didn't know what he was gonna do. I wrapped the rag around me tight, hoping that nothing could hurt me. I shut my eyes as tight as I could. I didn't want to see this. He grabbed onto my arm and told me to stand up. I stood up. I was scared for my life. He was drunk he didn't know what he was doing. I opened one eye slowly, and he started to push me to the bottom of the stairs that had once separated us. I shut my eyes, I hadn't seen the house in so long. I had missed it. It smelled so good. I had missed being up her with my family laughing.

As we took a step into the house, I realized that I wasn't going to stay here. He kept walking into the mudroom, and out into his truck. I started to wonder where I was going.

It must have been the middle of January, because when I sat down on the leather seats my legs froze. It felt like I had just sat on a big cube of ice. It didn't help that I had shorts on either. I wasn't wearing shoes either. The windows of the truck were foggy. I swiped the palm of my hand down the window, so that I could see the trees and houses that we passed. I began to missed the cold musty the basement. I know that probably didn't make any since for me to miss that but it was the only place that I really felt safe.That was a sad and scary thought. I didn't like this world.

My father was driving the truck and the engine was roaring as we passed fields and houses. He looked at me and smiled. I loved seeing him do that. I smiled back at him. I could see that something was bugging him. I put my hand on this shoulder and asked him if there was something wrong. He didn't answer the first time so I waited a few seconds before saying it again. He turned to look at me. I saw that he had tears slowly flowing down his cheeks. I had never seen my father cry before. Whatever was making him sad must have been pretty bad. Grabbed my hand an held it. There was a long pause in between us.

He opened his lips, but before anything came out, I heard loud screech. I looked up and saw a tractor trailer truck speeding at us. I shut my eyes, I didn't want to see this.

When I woke up I was in a stretcher, I was looking around. All I saw was caution crime scene tape. I had remembered the accident. I was looking for my father. Where was he? I started to feel alone. I wanted my father to be here, with me.

I asked one of the ladies that was standing by me holding my hand. She told me that she was sorry but.... I knew this wasn't going to end well. I started to cry. She squeezed my hand and finished the sentence. Im sorry, but your father died soon after we got there.

He never got to tell me how he felt. I started to cry. The lady bent down and gave me a hug. I didn't want this to happen. I wanted to see my father and talk to him. Even though he had hurt me, I still loved him.





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nmercier said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 7:10 am

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.....the story

LOVE, Nicole

 
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