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For Jacie.

The Pony Girls save the day.

“Ewww. What’s that smell!?” Jacie asked in disgust. “I’m cooking hamburger! It’s as good as pancakes with syrup!” Jacie’s mother answered. “Mom I don’t like hamburger or the sound of it, so I’m going to go play ponies in my room with Jordan.” After only minutes of ponies and Princesses, Jacie heard her mother screaming in the kitchen. Jacie and Jordan dashed into the kitchen to find the hamburger alive and was trying to eat her mother! Jacie and Jordan quickly ran back to Jacie’s room to get their ponies. Then they both screamed “Pony girls Unite!” Then their ponies came to life and they got super powers faster then a cheetah chasing its prey! Jacie got super laser vision and Jordan got super cleaning powers. With her super eye vision, Jacie cut the monster in half, then in to fourths, and then eighths. Before you knew it, the monster was in a big mess on the ground. “Uh oh this is a really big mess.” said Jacie “It’s okay!” said Jordan “I’ll use my super cleaning powers to clean this mess up!” When the big mess was all cleaned up Jacie’s mother was so happy. She said she’d make them whatever they wanted for dinner now. “ELBOW MACARONI! ELBOW MACARONI! We love the great taste and the delicious sound of it in the pan!” said both the girls jumping up and down excitingly.



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CanadianRoseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 5:48 pm
Could use a little more description. How did they play with the ponies? Exactly how did the hambuger try to eat the mother? What did the hamburger sound like cooking? How did the mother scream? It what way did they dash to the kitchen?
 
Macx14 said...
Nov. 26, 2010 at 11:40 am
Awh, so cute! It sounds like it would be very uplifting and heartwarming as a longer story. My only suggestion is to make it longer, other than that, great job!!
 
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