The Diamond Fountain: Introduction

September 1, 2010
By mmafan BRONZE, Manchester, New Hampshire
mmafan BRONZE, Manchester, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

The Diamond Fountain, a source of unimaginable power. The Fountain, as it is sometimes referred to, has the power to grant immortality, if it so chooses. Many people have tried to find it: kings, knights, commoners and thieves, few have found it. The people who have found it, known as the Ageless, simply disappear, reappearing throughout time too warn of forthcoming danger and destruction. Now our story begins, a tale of adventure, horror and greed.

The author's comments:
This is my first story. I recently decided to start writing seriously. I hope you like it and thank you for reading. Please comment and help me progress as a writer. I will be posting more part to the story at a later date

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This article has 5 comments.


mmafan BRONZE said...
on Sep. 13 2010 at 4:27 am
mmafan BRONZE, Manchester, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
thank you very much for commenting. I actually decided to write a different story, it will be up shortly

mmafan BRONZE said...
on Sep. 13 2010 at 4:26 am
mmafan BRONZE, Manchester, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
thank you very much for commenting. I actually decided to write a different story, it will be up shortly. I will definately check out your story as soon as a i can

on Sep. 4 2010 at 10:20 pm
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 513 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

Great intro to the story. Add more detail to gradually ease the reader into the story. It has potential.  

on Sep. 3 2010 at 6:44 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

Lets see- feedback, feedback, feedback...

The storyline so far seems like it's going to be pretty cliche, but lets see how original you can make it...

I'd start the story with some phrase other than 'the Diamond Foutain.'  I think yuo shoudl describe it first, "magical" "covoted" and "celestial" might be some good words.

Other than that- pretty good.  Not a bad pre-exposition.

Can you comment and rate my story, "Encounter"?  It's a little bit longer, but I think you might like it :)


mmafan BRONZE said...
on Sep. 2 2010 at 5:50 pm
mmafan BRONZE, Manchester, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
Please comment with tips on how to improve my writing or telling me whether you like it or not. I know this is not a lot of writing to respond too, but i plan on adding more parts to the story shortly. Thanks again


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