July 30, 2010
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our story begins on a Saturday Tinx is asleep til a she hears his foot steps its her step dad her always comes in her room when her mom is sleeping .she locks the door but he finds a way in .the is all ways long in her mind ass if one min lasts for days .in the morning Tinx wakes up too breakfast and a smiling mom saying how she got a new job and where she would have too go everyday and how long in the day she would have too be gone.and Tinx wasn't paying attention til she got the new that Rex her step dad would be home alone with her all day til night while her mom was at work Tinx told her mom how come i can't go to Jessie's house her mom replied be cause he is a boy one telling what you too would be dong Tinx mumbled guess what me and you husband do. her mom turned around and said huh only too see her daughter run out the house saying got to go there's Jessie's runs out side to try to catch her daughter to only see Tinx hand wave out the car saying bye but Tinx mom was sure that she heard what her daughter said and in a fierce but scared voice called her husband from the kitchen stairs Reexxxxxx..!!!!!

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JoetheBlanc said...
Aug. 17, 2010 at 8:05 pm

this is strangely interesting, despite the many, many, many spelling and punctuation errors. i would re-do this, with more attention to the punctuation. you've left out many periods and quotation marks. the periods you have aren't in the right place. this is an interesting story, but you should learn basic grammar before jumping into a deep subject like this. 3 stars.


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