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I do Believe You're Lost

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Young Charles was a new employee of the Walenbee Typewriter Repair Shop, located in Walenbee, Montana. Charles was about yeigh high, 143 pounds and 21 years of age. He had long brown hair, blue eyes, and what seemed to be overly sized side burns. He was a small fellow, but abnormally strong for his size, although it did not drastically show in his physical features, it was sort of a secret strength ability. When he walked into his office building he wore a bright smile because he was too unaware of how boring his job really was. He was not the type of person who was tuned into the life around him, but he was accustomed to the manners of the average human being. As he walked in the building he came upon his boss, Jeremy.

Jeremy was quite normal, in the sense that he had no odd features or personality traits. He was what someone would expect the average businessman to be, except less successful and he didn’t wear suits because he worked at a typewriter repair shop in Walenbee, Montana.

Charles, going about his usually manner and excitement of his new job, embraced his new boss Jeremy on sight. The hug was so tight it lifted Jeremy off the ground a couple of inches. When he was done Charles continued walking to his office, he picked up a screwdriver, sat down, and took off his shirt. When he felt the office breeze on his revealed chest he began to work in complete bliss.

Jeremy soon walked by with a cup of coffee in his hand, thinking about how much he would rather be anywhere else. As he passed Charles’ office Jeremy glanced in briefly and kept walking, only moments later processing the bare back of Charles. Jeremy turned around and took a second peak just to make sure he wasn’t going crazy. There was Charles, minding his own business, like the fact he had no shirt on was perfectly normal. “Charles.” Said Jeremy.
“What?” Charles responded innocently.
“Put your shirt on.” Jeremy said with a tone of obviousness.
“Oh…alright.”
Charles was a bit disappointed because he worked a lot better with his shirt off. In fact he loved to do everything with his shirt off, anytime he could have his shirt off he would take that opportunity. So sadly Charles put back on his shirt and continued to repair his first typewriter.

Jeremy walked away very confused at what he just witnessed. He had seen people work without shoes and sometimes without socks, but no one had ever taken their shirt off before. As he was walking away he reached into his pocket and realized he had dropped his keys. He then retraced his steps back to Charles’ room to see if his keys would be there. When he got there he saw his keys lying on the floor next to Charles with his shirt off. Jeremy stood there with a face as if he just saw a zebra mating with an African elephant. He was probably more confused then he had ever been in his entire life. He then felt a hand reach over his mouth with a strong, strange smelling liquid on what seemed to be a washcloth. He attempted to struggle for a moment but he lost all consciousness and fell to the floor.

Charles got up after having his routine 1-minute nap on the floor with his shirt off, as he always loved to do ever since he was a teenage boy. He turned around to see a strange man standing over Jeremy. The man was dressed in all black, like a ninja. The man’s eyes widened and he jumped at Charles, with cloth in hand, and tightened his grip around Charles’ mouth. Charles had no clue what was going on so he fell to the ground and blacked out.

The strange man dragged the two bodies through the highly lit and occupied office of the Walenbee Typewriter Repair Shop. As he dragged the two bodies through the office all the other workers stared at them with blank faces. But since no one really cared about those two employees, most didn’t even know who they were, they just let the ninja man continue on. The man loaded Jeremy and Charles into the back seats of his black GMC. He conveniently tied their hands behind their backs and buckled their seat belts. Then he awkwardly ran to the front seat, turned on the car and started to drive. He was looking for a good spot to train the two men for his new secret company. He drove for possibly an hour or two into the nearbyish mountains. The car stalled right by a bridge hanging over a small river. The man decided this place would have to do because he ran out of gas. He sat in his car waiting patiently for the drug to wear off of the two men. After 3 minutes of waiting the ninja man had lost his patience and decided he would wake them himself.

Charles opened his eyes not knowing what was going on. He felt like he was moving, but as his eyes unblurred he realized he was sitting in a stationary car. He looked out the window to see a beautiful river sparkling with sunlight. Charles enjoyed rivers as he used to swim in them all the time with his shirt off. He noticed he was in the mountains and he was wondering why, but that wasn’t the main thing on his mind. He loved how green the mountains were and he wished he could just take off his shirt and run into them, but his hands were tied behind his back. He looked to his left and saw Jeremy fast asleep with his hands also tied behind his back. Charles thought he looked very peaceful. The ninja man came up to Jeremy's door and roughly dragged Jeremy out of the car.

Jeremy awoke abruptly. He looked around trying to figure out where he was and what was going on. He saw a river with a narrow bridge over it. He thought if he had to cross it, it would probably collapse. His claustrophobia was kicking in, as he felt trapped between the mountains.

The three men were now all out of the car, one man in a fight ready position, although it looked as if this man had never actually been in a fight before. He stood awkwardly, with his butt out and hands over his face. The other two men were standing with their hands tied behind there backs, and one was looking around as if everything was the most amazing thing he had ever seen.

“What do you want from me?!” The man in the fighting position asked.

“What do you mean what do we want? You’re the one who brought us here! Who are you?” said Jeremy.

“Who is this lovely fellow?” Asked Charles with a bright smile on his face.

“I dunno,” Jeremy said, “did you not hear me just ask that?”

“Is he Philip?”

“Probably not…”

“George?”

“I don’t know his name, Charles.”

“Oh. Well I’m going to call him Philip. Looks like a Philip doesn’t he?”

“Yeah kind of-NO, that’s irrelevant. What do you want with us, who are you?” Jeremy said directing his attention back to the man who was probably named Philip.

“I am your worst nightmare!.........My name’s not important.” Said Philip, who was still in the fight ready position and changed his stance at every slight movement.

“Alright…it kind of is, but whatever. What are we doing here?”

“Sorry that’s top secret information.”

“This is so exciting!” Said Charles.

“Can you tell us where we are?” Jeremy asked.

“No.” Said probably Philip.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know where we are.”

“OH! THAT’S JUST GREAT!”

Philip jumped and squirmed at Jeremy's loud noises.
“Charles, how’d you get your hands untied?” Jeremy asked in a squeaky high-pitched angered voice.
Charles had managed to get his hands out of his bindings, although he was clueless and wasn’t aware he had done it. “I don’t know.” He said.
“Well come untie mine!”
“Alright.” So Charles did.
Philip, out of panic that they were actually trying to attack him started telling them everything. “ALRIGHT! I’ll tell you. My name is Philip and I’m a secret agent working for PSA.”
“Oh yay, I knew it!” Said Charles.
“What does PSA stand for?” Asked Jeremy.
“Philip’s Secret Agents.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me…”
“I don’t have to be kidding you. I’ve recruited you two as my first agents on the squat.”
“Squat?”
“Jeremy, how are we on a squat?” Asked Charles.
“I don’t know, Charles. Do you mean Squad?”
“That’s what I said…”
“No, you said squat.”

“Yeah.” Said Phillip.

“Squad! Its called squad! Lets go Charles.”

“But I’ve always wanted to be a secret agent.”
Jeremy soon realized that the only way to get both he and Charles back to Walenbee was to play along with Philip’s secret agency. He didn’t know how this would work; it must have been a message from God or something. “Alright…what’s our first mission?”
“Oh I hadn’t thought of that, BUT first you must go through training.”
“Oh god.”
“You both must beat me down the river to become true agents.”
“Did you just make that up right now?” Asked Jeremy.
“Yes.”
Charles quickly ran to the river took off his shirt and jumped in, all in one quick process. In a matter of seconds he was out of sight. At the same time Jeremy started running back down what was more of a trail then a road because he was afraid of water. Philip ran after Jeremy shouting, “Hey! Come back! You must swim down the river!”
Jeremy ran down the mountain with Philip right behind him. After a couple of minutes running through the trees Jeremy got tired and slowed down to a walk. A few seconds later he felt a body tackle him from behind. It was Philip. They tumbled down a hill, missing a tree by a hair. The tree felt the wind of the two men as they flew by it. They finally came to a rest on top of each other.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FO-”
“SHHHHH”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHH YOU ALMOST KILLED US!”
“SHHHHHH!!! Do you hear that?” Philip said in a whisper.
“No…I don’t here anything.”
Out of nowhere came a bear three times the size of Jeremy. Jeremy let out a whisper scream, “AHhhhhhhhmmmm,” as he knew it would now be best to be quiet. To how the bear got into the mountains and managed to sneak up on the two men without making a sound was beyond Jeremy. He just lay there with eyes as wide as a curious bush baby scared to the point of peeing his pants.
“Thas a big bear.” Philip said in a whisper. He stood up and was trying to be as quiet as possible. “You’re supposed to look big so they run away.” Philip shot up his arms and stood on his toes to seem as large as he could, but at that movement the bear charged. It tackled Philip just as Philip had tackled Jeremy and was about to strike, but it suddenly fell motionless on top of Philip.
Jeremy looked and saw a tranquilizer dart in the bear’s neck. Charles jumped down from the tree looking very wet and dreamy with out a shirt on. Both Jeremy and Phillip had no idea where he had come from or how he got there so fast.
“Where did you get the dart gun?” Asked Jeremy, very bewildered.
“I always carry a bear tranquilizer gun with me.” Said Charles like it should be obvious.
“Oh.” Together Jeremy and Charles lifted the bear off of Philip in which case Charles did most of the work because of his unpronounced strength.
The bushes started to shake, and all three men jumped around to face them. Charles was pointing his tranquilizer gun at the bushes just incase. Suddenly out of nowhere came a beautiful young lady who managed to say “Hello Boys.” before falling to the ground from being shot with a tranquilizer.

“Whoops.” Said Charles.

“What the HELL did you do that for?” Asked Jeremy.

“I thought she was a bear.”

“Of course you did, now we’ve got a practically dead girl to deal with.”

“She’s not dead, she’ll be fine in a minute. What’d you think he name is? Lilly?”

“I dunno, with your strange guessing powers you’re probably right.”

“Yeah its probably Lilly Phillip what do you think.”

“Um, I would say Jennifer.”

“Of course you would.” Said Jeremy. “Charles, carry that girl we’re going home.” What Jeremy didn’t know is that they were completely lost, and their only ticket home was the girl now on Charles’ back who would not wake for another hour or so. In the mean time, Jeremy led them through the forest until they came in a complete circle. Then he gave up and sat on a rock.





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