The Last Thirty Seconds

May 12, 2010
It all comes down to this. Me against you. Problem being you're going to win.

The gun is off safety. I feel myself breathe and try not to think how it'll feel to have a little bullet tear through my lungs at a few hundred miles an hour. How I'll die. Your smile is chilling.

It all comes down to this. After six weeks and three thousand miles, the chase is over; I've lost. After a million lies and two other traps very much like this one that I survived to tell the tale- but this time, I don't think I'll make it. This time my hands are tied and any second you're going to pull the trigger.

I rotate my wrists frantically behind my back, but I can feel your gaze. We're alone, the two of us. And soon you'll be the only one.

The world is ending. Maybe not to six point five billion other people, but my world is ending. My personal universe is about to be brought to an abrupt halt, and I'll miss it. I don't want to die. It sounds plaintive, but it's true: I don't want to die.
If only my hands were free. That would be something. But my tugging is futile. I have nothing, almost nothing- all I've got is my own heartbeat and you're about to take that too.

You're saying something. Probably gloating over my defeat. But I'm not listening, I can only hear the blood in my ears. I can only think about whether it'll hurt, can only concentrate on the fact that I've failed.

The moment is rushing closer, I can feel it coming like a freight train that's ready to crush me into a bloody smear along the tracks. Your finger tightens on the trigger. It all comes down to this- and it's over. There's no chance.

And then, with a jolt that makes my already excited heart pound like a timpani, shoves adrenaline through every vein in my body and sends my brain into a perfect storm, I realize my left hand has come free.

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This article has 16 comments. Post your own now!

CoreyVernot This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 26, 2012 at 5:57 pm
This is amazing writing! I can't believe it isn't in the magazine! Your descriptions are incredible. The ending actually makes the reader feel the adrenaline that you pump through your main character. Definitely one of my favorites!
4qui133 said...
Jan. 22, 2012 at 8:34 pm
morbid for a second there--I love/hate moments of helplessness because i get to close to them in my head. then his left hand came free and i was like, oh, at least he won't die in so much dark noir. that moment at the end really lightened the tension--as i was reading it the whole piece felt like a dark funnel of roaring darkness and then an explosion of light at the end, all brilliant and glittery. spangled. that was the word i was looking for.
h3adf0n3s said...
Jun. 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm
that was so action packed it got my blood pumping, please write more!
AmaranthaVoss said...
Mar. 13, 2011 at 11:28 am
I have read a lot of work. This piece is perfect. Perfect.
xX_so-confused_Xx said...
Jan. 22, 2011 at 11:03 pm
This is a great story! I admit it is kind of confusing in the beggining; we (the readers) dont know how he got there or who was chasing him. Maybe do a pre-quel story? But this is phenominal writing. I wish I wrote it! :p
StevenH1028 said...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 11:17 pm
Nice shot with this one; I like it alot. Would you mind reading my story "Devin Thomas" and telling me what you think?
LASwan said...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Very well written, exceptional details. What I love is that the second I read the last sentence, my mind flooded with dozens of possible endings, kind of like Choose-Your-Own-Adventure. Fun stuff.
bbycks10 said...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 2:10 pm
ho-ly c***! very well done! i adored the ending, and you managed to keep my heart rate up throughout the story, short as it was. wonderful job!
_Elsy_ said...
Jun. 9, 2010 at 5:54 pm
wow, nough said
dancer13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 9, 2010 at 4:42 pm
wow! i loved the power in this. (: nice work!!
AvengedJasonFold said...
May 29, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Simon Cowel feedback (you asked for it!)

Wow! That was an incredible ending. I absolutely LOVED how you ended the story. But there's a few things that need a little polishing to turn this from a good story to a great story.

The third sentence: "Problem being" should be "Problem is"

"The world...too" is a paragraph in need of some help. The sentence with the "six point five" is awkward. I would either delete it or say something like "the rest of... (more »)

WhiteRabbit said...
May 29, 2010 at 12:48 pm
In my opinion this has highly exceptional details. The description of how he felt at the mometn was unbelievable, but, and I dont mean to be mean, we dont know how he really got there it doesn't matter much if its just a little but its better to have some than none, but overall good story, hope this helps.
Imaginedangerous This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm
No, sorry. Like I said, the shortest story I've ever written.
SUPERMANDwightHoward replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 7:21 pm

I love it you have got a good plot with some character development and a begining you could easily have an edge of your seat thriller.

HOWEVER in just a short story it is kind of just TOO conveinant to let his hand go free, if there is no more to be written have a tragic ending.

Imaginedangerous This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:51 pm
I originally considered a trgic ending, but changed my mind. The whole point of the story is that you don't know exactly how it ends. Thanks for the feedback, though.
Anonymous said...
May 18, 2010 at 4:16 pm
is there any more to this?
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