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LOCKED UP

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“But mom why can’t you go with us” my brother asked. The day was already here. The government had turned on people with brown eyes and were sending them to concentration camps. My dad, my brother and I were all going. My mom had blue eyes. We were all in separate rooms in our 2,400 square-foot house. My dad was in his room, my brother and my mom were in brother’s room, and I was in my room. I am a 14-year-old boy. I am 5’10’’, and weigh 155 pounds. Our house looked like ground zero. Clothes were everywhere, and in some rooms you couldn’t see the floor.


I wanted to pack everything I could, so I got the little stuff first- toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, shaving cream and razor, and finger nail clippers so I wouldn’t have bad hygiene. I brought shaving cream and razor so I wouldn’t look like Chewbacca. Then I stuffed in socks, underwear, sweatshirts, and pants. Then I stuck a notebook and pens into my bag to keep track of the date and what it is like in the camp. Finally, I placed my most prized possession in my bag-my number 24 necklace. It means so much to me because it was given to me by my girlfriend who I love and she loves me. As I took one last look at my room before I turned the lights off, I punched my wall in anger and started to cry. I didn’t cry because I hit the wall; I cried because I may never see my family again. The 180-passenger bus pulled up, and my dad asked if we were ready.


“This is the last group we have to pick up so y’all shut up for the rest of the ride” said the general at the front of the bus. “I wish I could go up and knock him out,” said a boy sitting next to me. “I’m Josh,” he said. “I’m Seth,” I said. The camp was over an hour away from where we were, so I figured I could get to know Josh. I found out Josh was a 16-year-old, 6’5’’ boy who loved sports just like me. After talking to Josh for a while I discovered that he too had a special number necklace, but his number was 40.


Getting off the bus was horrible. The general put a number on your back and every four people were put into a room. I got lucky; I was in the same room as my dad, my brother, and Josh. We were in room 49B. The room was very small. There were two sets of bunk beds on either side of the room. There was a small bathroom inside the room with only a seven-foot wall surrounding us. The beds were stiff as a board. The pillows were filled with hair and not cotton or feathers. The blankets were made of very thin cotton, so we will be cold in the winters. I didn’t sleep that night as I worried about what the next day would bring.


Ten hours after arriving, a siren went off which meant it was time to wake up. We got dressed and headed to the cafeteria. We were given bread and water. The bread was stale, but we ate it anyways. Twenty minutes later, we were separated into groups and told we would either work in the fields or sent to dig holes. My group was sent to the fields. We had to pick wheat for five and a half hours, and then we got to eat lunch. Our lunch was stale bread and water again. Thirty minutes later we were sent to dig holes. Five and a half hours later we had dinner. No surprise, it was bread and water. We were not allowed to shower and we were sent to our rooms. About a week later I received a letter from my mom. She said she was going back to school to become an eye surgeon. She said she was going to find a way to change eye color. She stated that when she accomplished this she would write back.


It’s been one year, three hundred days, and twenty hours. We were told to work extremely hard today because President James would be visiting. During his visit two people tried to attack him, they were both shot in the head. Our supervisor, Ryan, was one of the people who shot them. Ryan wasn’t like the other supervisors. He was actually nice. We were starting to become friends. There had been over five thousand people who had died so far.


The next day I received a letter from my mom. She had graduated as an eye surgeon and discovered a way to change eye color, but it was very dangerous. There was a very high risk of blindness or even worse, if the solution entered the blood stream it could paralyze a person or cause death. After sharing the news with my dad, my brother, and Josh, we thought it was worth the risk. We decided we should break out.


For the next few weeks we tried to think of a way to persuade Ryan to help us. After two weeks we decided on a plan and Ryan agreed. My dad drew out the plan with the pen and paper I had. When we were out in the fields, Ryan would put us as far out as possible. He would cut a hole in the fence. We would then crawl through it and run into the woods. While we were escaping, Ryan would pile up dirt to make it look like us. Tomorrow would be the big day.


RING!RING!RING! The morning alarm rang. We got up, put on our clothes, and lined up for breakfast. We ate and were sent to dig holes. When the lunch bell rang, we all were getting nervous. We could not eat. After lunch Ryan took us way out in the fields to begin picking wheat. As we were picking, Ryan was cutting the fence. When he finished we took off running. We crawled through the fence and ran into the woods. We ran for at least twenty minutes. We had to jump over tree logs and run through creeks. My dad had to carry my brother because he was so tired. We were about five minutes away from where my mom worked when we heard sirens. The sirens were from the police sent to look for us. We stopped and stood very still. They passed and we kept walking, we walked to back of the building where my mom worked. My mom worked in a front office so we were going to have trouble getting to her.



My dad, brother, and I stayed in the back while Josh walked towards the front of the building. Josh came back and said the coast was clear. But as we walked towards the front, from behind the bushes came a cop. “FREEZE” he yelled. We stopped, but the voice sounded familiar. It was my dad’s best friend, John. “Seth is that you?” “Yeah, it’s me.” John asked how we had escaped. “Long story” my dad said. “Can you help us, please?” I asked. There was a long silence. John said with a smile, “Yes, I will.” The plan was that John would handcuff us and act like we needed our eyes checked. We came to the front of the building and went through the doors. When we got to my mom’s office, my mom took us into a back room, and hugged and kissed us for what seemed like forever. Then we got down to business. My mom told us that we could pick what color we wanted our eyes. My dad, brother, and I all wanted bluish-green eyes. Josh wanted green. My dad went first, and everything turned out okay, as well as my brother’s. It was my turn and I was REALLY nervous. In the end, everything came out okay. Josh was last, and he really didn’t look like he wanted to go through with the procedure, but he did anyway. It wasn’t good. The dye entered his bloodstream and within minutes he died. My mom felt so bad, she cried. I told her that Josh was determined to try anything even if it meant he had to die to save others. John had to hide Josh’s body in the river.


We changed our clothes and returned home. I had to change my name along with my dad and my brother. The first thing I did when I got home was go straight to my room. I just stood there in the doorway amazed. I was amazed that I was actually home. Then I took the shower that I badly needed, and the former Seth Brown was “washed away” forever. Tomorrow I would be known as Casey Smith.




This will certify that the above work is completely original. Seth Michael Brown




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This article has 8 comments. Post your own!

CollinGriffeth said...
today at 9:45 am:
It felt like just a list of things that occured in the story. "This happened, and then this, and then this" I found no emotion. Characters in this seemed okay with the fact they were in concentration camps. 
 
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olivia123 said...
Oct. 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm:
i love this writing i cant believe josh died :(
 
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skippy243 said...
Oct. 27, 2011 at 1:27 pm:
That was addicting to read.. tht kid should make a book :)
 
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EJP9th said...
Oct. 27, 2011 at 1:27 pm:
twas good!
 
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LastChapter said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm:
i thought that it could've been much better if you had included why the government had chosen to attack brown eyed people (and how it would have been allowed to happen seeing how brown eyes are most dominant) Maybe you should've also shown more anger and emotion. fury at your country for betraying you, fear for your family, agony from being torn away from your mother and soul mate. maybe emotions like that would've made this piece more lifelike.
 
Dragonscribe replied...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 5:28 pm :

yeah I totally agree with you, LastChapter. Maybe the author wanted to make the choice to discriminate against brown-eyed people seem random, like the Holocaust (although Hitler had reasons, however horrible they were) but even then, nobody seemed upset about it in this piece. Why wasn't anyone mad? Plus I just didn't know what was going on.

It's good writing, though, and an interesting idea.

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OurSTORY replied...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 11:03 pm :

I agree with you guys too. :) plus more emtions and try to make it flow more smoothly

it is good though

 
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ItsRaining This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 23, 2009 at 8:59 pm:
oh my god! i was thinking of a story idea kinda like this... :D
 
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