Daughter Of The Nile | Teen Ink

Daughter Of The Nile

January 29, 2010
By Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3


Daughter Of The Nile
“I walked into the Pharaohs main throne room, the walls were covered in sheeted gold, and fire ebbed with life in the copper fire caskets which lined the walls. Where these walls met the ground, water flowed around in a deep, never ending circuit, it was clear, and filled with different sorts of exotic fish, which swam in and out of view. The pillars were of black marble granite with small white lines of quartz. Many important people stood around the golden stairs, which lead to the extensively adorned throne. Around the Pharaoh himself lowly servants held silver platters, filled with the finest meats and exotic desserts ,more servants waved long white ostrich feather fans, to cool down the Pharaoh. Everywhere people were dining on the feast the cooks had toiled throughout hours to prepare for this special occasion. For no one wished to anger the king because of poor cooking upon his birthday.
I caught sight of my reflection in the water of the circuit. Aunt had spent ages applying my cosmetics, styling my hair and rubbing me down with sparkling oil. I looked at myself through heavy lidded eyes, beneath the golden eye shadow, my eyes were of almost coal black, my skin was a tanned copper colour which contrasted appealingly with my raven black hair, which was adorned with a golden wreath of sapphires. I was of a medium build, taller that most of the tiny royal dancers. However there was something different about my otherwise customary looks, but I couldn’t place what it was, but something, somehow distinguished me from the rest of the population of Egypt. Was it my hair, which shone in the faint glimmering light of the throne room? Was it the stygian , oval eyes that stared back at me from the water? Or, was it the strange aura which I cast above everyone I met, the feeling of awe which bestowed itself in people’s hearts as I walked into the room. Maybe it was because I was known all over the palace as the Pharaohs most prized entertainment utensil. I looked down upon the glittering chemise, graced unto me by the Pharaoh himself. It wrapped around my chest and fixed itself upon the back of my loincloth. Both were of a golden material, which sparkled faintly in the light and were lined with yet more sapphires.
I caught the eye of the Pharaoh, and he quickly jumped to his feet. He was a very muscled man, and I could see the tightening and contracting of his shoulder muscles as he called the crowd to attention. Our battle hardened leader, was never caught off guard, and always carried his golden battles sword with him, it was well over 2 feet long, and with hieroglyphics etched down the middle, it curved to a lethal point. He had it crafted for him almost 13 years ago. It is said that the craftsmen couldn’t hold it alot for longer than a few moments, let alone carry it around every day of the year. The crowd quietened and gazed up into their leaders long, scarred face. “And now for tonight’s entertainment, my finest dancer, Chione shall perform the war dance with my daughter, the princess Khafre” he called excitedly. Immediately the crowd sat around the stairs near the throne and the fire caskets were extinguished. The female musicians picked up their long, quivering harps and short stout flutes, made of tough papyrus shoots, picked every full moon cycle. Picking up the three-pronged dagger I was to “fight” with I turned and faced the door at the end of the room. Khafre walked slowly through the beaded curtain and into the throne room. Her slanted midnight eyes fixed on me, dagger swirling around in her long, slender fingers, she was an interesting girl, features set out in the traditional Egyptian way, long nose, dark eyes and tanned skin, but there was more to her looks than just a traditional appearance. She had a very elongated sharp face and long eyes, but her physique was what set her apart; she was so very, very tall! Almost head and shoulders taller than me, and I was tall for my age. The crowd became excited at just the look of her, they knew just as well as I did that this was going to be a very close, intense fight. I had never danced with Khafre before, but the other dancers told me she was as fast as a falcon and as deceitful as a desert cobra, and that she had never been defeated in single combat before, at least not in front of her father, the Pharaoh. Khafre had a wicked glint in her eye as the willowing harp music began.
We circled, trying to spot out a weakness, just as two lionesses would circle their prey, trying to spot out a flaw in the distressed animal they were hunting. All of my attention was on her, and the dagger she held firmly in her elonged hand. Suddenly the crowd was long gone and we all but immune to the watchful eyes they placed upon us. Then she moved! Her golden dagger came down upon me, but I swerved out behind her, and pushed her hand away with my own jewelled dagger. Turning around she found me and brought the blade up to my neck. It met mine with a ringing clash. As the music rose and fell, our bodies moved in time, and so did our 4weaponry. Finally, she sprung away and held her dagger up high in the air. With a gasp, I came forward to meet her and the heated battle began once again, the ringing of the metal daggers was all I heard in my ears. In out, up down always trying to seek out the opponents weakness. But then she pulled the dagger up just a fraction too high, and I reached up and with a quick flip knocked it flying into the crowd. It flipped 3 times and landed at the feet of the Pharaohs throne, breaking into two against the hard gold surface. This fight was over, and yet again, I had won the favour of the Pharaoh and his court.
I turned to the crowd for my applause, and yet again met the pharaohs’ eye, he looked as he was about to say something when, suddenly I felt a breath of ominous wind pass by my left shoulder...
Khafre had cart wheeled away and pulled a sword from one of the guard’s sheaths at the door of the room. Alarmed I yet again saw the angry glint in her eyes as she came towards me, sword swinging silently through the air, this was not part of the rules in the war dance, once the opponents dagger had been removed, or they had surrendered the fight was over.”Khafre, this fight is complete!” I yelled at her from my side of the room. However, this seemed to anger her further. She flipped closer, I realised she was not about to give in, at least not in front of her father.
However, I was not about to give way and suffer the shame of being beaten by a princess. I threw away the dagger and back-flipped between the two guards of my side of the room, I smiled wickedly at her as I brought out both swords and rushed to meet her. The swords clashed brutally in the air, I knew that she was surprised at my quick riposte, and was probably now even more desperate for a win. I cornered her on the side of the pavements near the water circuit, and pushed her sword up; up and out of her hand , it flipped into the air and she caught it again, but to no prevail, as she was looking up I twisted into position and pushed her into the water circuit as she caught the sword. Khafre’s legs flew out beneath her, as there was no ground to steady her. Conversely, in the last moment her arms flew up and caught hold of my hair, which dangled over my shoulder. As I was pulled down, I caught hold of one of the fire caskets and held myself there, the pain was almost too much when my fingers began to slip from the casket, realising that I couldn’t hold on for long, I let go and fell into the icy water beneath me.
I plunged down into the paralysing cold of the water, momentarily shocked I let go of the swords, and they slowly drifted down to the bottom and met the ground with a dull thud. As I struggled to the surface of the water, I saw Khafre swimming up towards me. With a wicked grin upon her face, she pulled my leg down deeper into the freezing water, trying to drown me. I struggled against her hold, but to no prevail, she was bigger and stronger than I was, and she also knew how to swim. Down, down I sank into the icy, paralysing water. I began to panic and kicked out with my free leg, striking her jaw, her iron hold on my leg was released, and I kicked furiously for the surface. Unfortunately, Khafre got there first and with her foot, pushed me down further into the water. Losing consciousness, I sank once again into the water, and small red lights filled my mind. Fish swam around me, looking at me with big cold black eyes. As I sank lower into the frigid depth of the water I reached up and pushed against the water with my arm in a sweeping motion, and I felt it move suddenly and vigorously beneath my fingertips...

The author's comments:
The Inpiration for this story came from a few sources.
1#
I had always loved Ancient Egypt for it's beautiful artworks, advanced buildings, creepy embalming process and its amazing mythology. As a child I loved to read about the different stories on Egypt's Mythology, such as the story of Isis, Horus and the bad guy, Seth. So I decided to use my spare time to write my own story.
2#
One of my good friends Geena had noticed my writing skills and asked my to write something for her, so answering her question, I wrote this!

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 18 comments.


on Feb. 19 2010 at 10:26 pm
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

Because it was inevitable if i didn't ask here i'd have to ask at school and then when you turned me down, Mitchell etc would have had a field day.

Friends and nothing more is fine, we can simply pretend this whole thing never happened.

on Feb. 19 2010 at 10:05 pm
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3

would it be easier on you if I didnt say anithing about this at school??

on Feb. 19 2010 at 10:02 pm
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3

Also

i just want you to realise

friends AND NOTHING more

p.s y did u decide 2 ask?

on Feb. 19 2010 at 9:53 pm
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3

Im just annoyed at the fact that you had to do this over the internet

on Feb. 19 2010 at 9:49 pm
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

Also do you really think i could have pulled this off in reality. With Mitchell and the other poking their noses around.

on Feb. 19 2010 at 9:46 pm
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

This is fine. Whatever you desirer

on Feb. 19 2010 at 9:46 pm
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

Of Course. Your wish and happiness is my command

on Feb. 19 2010 at 9:45 pm
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

We can and shall. Your desire and happiness is my command.

on Feb. 19 2010 at 9:16 pm
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3

...

well i kinda saw this coming..

you made it extremely obvious,

im a bit annoyed that you chose to do this on the internet, not face to face.

Any way im not allowed 2 go out wif anyone, my parents r quite strict about this.

thankyou for the compliment

but

for me, its just a friendship based on a mutual enjoyment of writing.

i would LIKE to keep it this way

i hoped we could have kept it that way

so no is my answer.

Bronte

on Feb. 19 2010 at 1:41 am
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

I must add that this is my attempt at asking you out,

on Feb. 19 2010 at 12:35 am
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

OK since you'll probably read this soon, i'll be quick.

Kaitlyn isn't my crush, You are Bronte.

Talk to you soon,

I hope...

on Feb. 11 2010 at 1:19 am
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3

=how was it random?

on Feb. 11 2010 at 12:52 am
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

Ah, being a newbie is fun isn't it. Of couse people want more. I'm trying to not think about Religion class-it was random.

on Feb. 11 2010 at 12:48 am
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3

thankyou for your compliments,

Im thinking of posting the next part onto the site, what do you think of that?

thankyou again

Chione_Bronte

on Feb. 11 2010 at 12:45 am
Chione_Bronte SILVER, Griffith, Other
6 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" - Twilight
"Oh Fang you romantic fool!" - Maximum Ride 3

thankyou HBCdance

Buy golden wreath of saphires, I mean a chain of sapphires(blue, like you said:)) with golden sockets

I am thinking of posting the next part on Teen Ink

tell your friends:):D

yours sincerly

Chione_Bronte

on Feb. 10 2010 at 7:34 pm
have_a_heart GOLD, Jackson, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.

wow. that was good!

on Feb. 10 2010 at 3:37 pm
HBCdance BRONZE, Ann Arbor, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish." - John Jakes

Wow! This is REALLY GOOD! It's very impressive how much you know about Ancient Egypt--this was the perfect type of story for you to write. If you want to edit it and try to make it better, here's my advice: you have some run-on sentences, so see if you can rework your punctuation a bit. Also, you say "golden wreath of sapphires" in the beginning. I don't understand this. Aren't sapphires blue, not gold? You may want to take another look at that. But overall, great job!

on Feb. 6 2010 at 3:15 pm
Ceneteros2804 PLATINUM, Griffith, Other
20 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.' Albert Einstein

'Why write about reality, we all know how that story ends' Me

Well,well glad to see it's finally up.

It looks even better a...how may times have i read this?