The wind blew around the cliff, sweeping past me, seeming almost triumphant as my body flung in different directions trying to keep control of my footing. With the ebony rock slick from the earlier rain, I was beginning to realize what a mistake I had made coming here. This was all I had left and I had no choice. At that moment, the skies opened. The pouring rain thundered on top of the surrounding rocks and my heart, weighing everything down like a ton of heavy bricks. My heavy breathing transformed into uncontrollable sobs, thinking of all I was about to lose and how much I had lost already. With shaking hands, I reached and picked it up. All the weight I had felt on my heart earlier was nothing compared to this. With it in my bare hands, I felt the weight of the universe on my shoulders, trying to beat me to the ground. But I wouldn't give up without a fight. My arm slowly began to raise, lifting it up to the open sky. I took one unsteady footstep after another, rain threatening to pull me into the daggers of rocks below. Arm high in the sky, I wound back, ready to throw... But I couldn't. If it was destroyed, I was destroyed. But I need to; I needed to let this go. So, with one last breath, I jumped as well.
January 11, 2010