Attack of The Chimps 2

October 3, 2009
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Last time we met Jared, king of all chimps and his population of chimpanzees they were the bad gu-, uh, primates. But they were just misunderstood. All they really wanted was enough potatoes to end their obsession with them Anyhow, when they were blasted out of the cannon with their potato, the potato blew into pieces. Most of the potato pieces went to Ireland, and that’s why they grow all those potatoes. The chimpanzee population mainly went to the USA. They had to leave because the country’s president, George W. Bush, said they had to. They made a boat out of potatoes from a farmer’s field, and sailed off.
The boat’s captain, Kristin, set sail for the place that the humans had called “England”. When they landed, their first goal was to be able to speak the French language. They had to first find someone that didn’t freak out when they saw a talking chimp. Who wouldn’t? Steven Fix, that’s who. When Jared and his advisor, Sydney, confronted Steven, he taught them French, and they got free potatoes. For further knowledge of the French culture, the chimps went to a fancy restaurant. They thought that French people’s etiquette was appalling and infantile.
The next place they went to was the murky Loch Ness Lake. They wanted to collect information about the native folklore. The chimp inventor, Lauren, created a potato submarine. Jared, Sydney, Lauren, and Jeff, the marine chimp, went under. As Jeff grimaced at a shadow, it materialized into… da, da, dum, Nessie!!! As the chimps tried to escape, they saw a giant potato shard, one of the parts of the original! They dove for it, and a mechanized potato arm grabed it before Nessie could chomp the tasty sub. They burst out of the water and onto land at the last second. Looking at the potato shard afterwards, an idea formed in Jared’s mind. Hmmmm,” thought Jared, king of the chimps. If they were able to find every potato shard that came off of the original potato, then they could get more potatoes. When he explained this to his fellow chimps, they entirely agreed. So, Jared and Sydney did some research. They found that potato shards were being found all over the place. But they found that one party of people was gathering potatoes. So it was that day that they found a menacing enemy. The Republicans.





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