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Outcast

By , south lake tahoe, CA
Ironically- I'm the definition of undefinable. Normally people would say something like, “If you look up clumsy in the dictionary, you'll see my picture underneath” -but that's not the case for me. I'm not something you can define easily. Like trying to find a needle in a hay stack or finding Waldo in a crowd of people: I'm definitely hard to decipher. You can say, compared to a ballerina in a mosh pit- I'm as scarce as hen's teeth. As brave as a child taking on the dark alone; as stubborn as a mule, as deep as a trench at the bottom of the ocean, and definitely as out-casted as Kovu in Lion King.

To myself, I'm a super hero. But my weakness is that I care too much. I care so drastically for other people, that I'll put myself in harms way to make sure they're safe. When I'm fighting against my nemisis for the sake of the world- he'll throw problems my way. And I quickly stop my battle to defend the needy- getting blasted away by my enemy.

My enemies were always in my mind. I've been through everything from eating disorders to self harm. My eating disorders took my mind and wrapped it around my whole body, twisting and turning my thoughts to believing things that weren't true. Pulling my thoughts in and out of social anxiety and depression. As my eating disorders destroyed my mind, my self harm destroyed my body. My scars fill my legs and arms and try to tell me who I am. “You're worthless” they whisper to me. Trying to manipulate my mind along with the eating disorders, to harm myself even more. Since I'm a super hero, I defeated my enemies and gained their power. They made me stronger than I ever was before.

Overpowering such hard enemies alone makes me proud to be who I am. Though I'm hard to understand; I'm brave and I'll do anything it takes to get what I want. When I know I'm right, and I'm standing up for what I believe I won't back down so it makes me as stubborn as a mule. I'm deep because I have a great understanding for everyone because I know what it's like to be unhappy. And I may be an outcast- but I'm proud of it. Atleast I'm not afraid to actually show who I am. I don't care about popularity, or good grades. I care about expressing who I am and making people happy. Standing up for what's right- and doing what I love doing. I'm passionate about everything I do, and nothing can stop me. Though me caring may be my kryptonite; I keep gaining more powers. I'm strong and I can take on any enemy that comes at me. Even if it's my competition for this school. I say, “Come at me bro. I'll take you on one handed and blindfolded” because it doesn't matter, I know I can do anything if I put my mind to it.



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Outcast4God said...
Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:23 pm:
Love that essay. I've always been that type of girl too. I'm kind of undescribable... there's no one word that sums me up. But the thing is... I take pride in it. I don't let it stop me from achieving anything. Because, being an "outcast" doesn't mean anything bad. It's you. It's just another way of saying "I've got so many personalities and no one is exactally like me!"
 
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