There is no doubt that America is one of the biggest garbage producers in the world. Landfills are being filled with tons of non-biodegradable materials and a lot of other unnecessary materials that can be recycled. The waste that is too harmful and expensive to sort is shipped overseas for poor communities to dispose of in harmful ways. There must be a better way to dispose of all the junk so that we won’t contaminate the entire world. What if the solution was as simple as hoarding? We might picture hoarders as crazy, old aged, single women who do not have the heart to throw away a pretty Pringle container. You may also know her as the crazy cat lady from down the street, but what would you saw if I told you hoarding is the way of the future? Hoarders collect materials like newspapers, plastic containers and clothes, all of which are things that can be recycled or disposed of properly. I believe that in order to save the environment from all this garbage, Americans should become hoarders. Imagine your house being filled up with mountains of unread newspapers and documents. You would have enough paper to make a tree. Now imagine every single person in America doing it. We would have enough paper to recycle to save the rain forest. No more will there be unused dirty paper in the landfills; they will be compiled somewhere in your living room and dining room. Why throw away something that can actually be used again? When you hoard paper, you have it organized in clumps which make it easier to sort and recycle. The same could be done with empty plastic containers. Some of the plastic containers are not recyclable, which is why they will be disposed of properly, and the ones are, will be recycled. The same would go with glass containers. What would a hoarder want more than an empty jar of pickles? Maybe an empty jar of jam! The containers would most likely be sorted by material, color, cuteness and size, or they will just be kept in cardboard boxes, which would also be recycled. This would be a snap for the recycle crew to pick up because it will cause little to no effort for them to sort out these materials. Hoarders also like to collect junk like broken/working appliances, nick knacks and clothes. We can put those appliances to work and if not, we can rip them apart to be recycled and used for other things such as scrap metal for other appliances. Also think of all the clothes that can be collected from these hoarders. They can be shipped off to poverty stricken areas where they can’t afford a piece of clothing or shoes. Do you really need all those V-necks? The stuff that can’t be re-reused can be recycled to make paper or other things. The amount of material that is unusable would be minute and wouldn’t have as large of an impact on Earth. The recycling duties will be managed by the already existing Waste Management and Recycling Company. They will be in charge of going to your house recording and picking up your stuff. You might think that because someone is a hoarder they will not want to give up their precious paper to the recycling brigade so to resolve this problem the hoarder will be given a non-invasive drug that makes them more cooperative with authority. This will allow an easier process for recycling duties. Think of all the money we will be saving by not producing new material because we will already have the resources to make new things from the old. There might still be money spent for these materials but it will certainly be cut in half or even more. Think of all of the jobs this will create: Recycling is a huge process with a huge demand for workers. This will increase the economic growth and encourage people to be the best hoarders they can be. These people will also receive a very nice tax credit at the end of the year, which will depend on how much they‘ve hoarded. Because it will be government owned, the company will not operate for profits but for the common good of the people and environment. This will ensure that everything is done with the best interest of Mother Nature in mind. Because hoarding will become a big thing in the future as a way of showing you care for the environment, it will be considered acceptable. Imagine being at school and every kid in the cafeteria instead of throwing away their cardboard cartons, sporks and plastic trays, they put it in a bag and taken home to be organize in their rightful place. If everyone did this, everything would be clean. No more trash on the sidewalks, in parks, on the side of the roads, canals and many other areas that find “trash” at. Everything would be clean and landfill would be smaller. Not only would everyone be conservationists, but people would want to do this for the economic boost it provides. Even if wealthy people don’t want to hoard, there would be lower income people that would happily do it for them by taking their un-wanted stuff. This would create a community service for the rich which would help out the people in need of serious cash. Being hoarders will help out Mother Nature and ensure a clean future for our kids. Being a hoarder doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it just means you’re good at holding on to things and organizing them. These are qualities of a focused and well-rounded human being. This is our planet and we should keep it clean. We don’t want to wake up one day swimming in our own crap, do we?
Hoarding You Say?
April 30, 2012