This is it

November 12, 2011
By , Jericho, VT
It was the night of November 15th, 2006, and I knew my life would never be the same. Good hook right? If only I had some way to back it up. It's tough, this college essay. I mean it's not like the rest of my life depends on whether or not you like these 250-500 words. What do I write? Am I trying to impress you with my cunning use of language, or should I bombard you with my meaningless achievements? Take your pick. Alright, we'll start with achievements. I have managed to survive on planet earth for 17, almost 18 years. What? That's not good enough? Okay, I guess I'll “wow” you with my language. While arduous and vexing, application to a statute of higher learning is unequivocally essential to one's successful post-educational life. I digress. I was going to write about how the game of golf has changed me as a person. But, let's be honest, you've read at least a hundred of those already and, frankly, golf is boring to watch, let alone read about. I feel sympathy for you, I really do. Not only do you have to read hundreds of pages on teenagers who are trying to be discreet about how wonderful they are, but you have to crush dreams all day long. But hey, you've got a job, you're better off than 13.9 million people in the United States so I can't feel too bad for you. In all honesty, my life is pretty darn normal. My parents are both married and alive (no financial aid for me), I'm upper-middle class, I attend public school, I have traveled but I haven't experienced a revelation of any sort. I'm white, I get average grades, I play sports. I drive a mini cooper so I guess that's unique. Up until now, I haven't had any extremely difficult task that I have overcome. And by now I mean now. Right now. This essay is probably the most influential task I have ever had to undertake. Think about it. This essay basically determines whether or not I get into the school of my choice. That, in turn, determines what kind of job I will get which then determines how much money I will make which determines if I will live in a cardboard box or a house I can't afford. If I live in a cardboard box I will die and if I live in a house I can't afford I will live but not very happily. So, you decide, am I going to die or am I going to be under financial stress for the rest of my life? Choose wisely...





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Devin McNulty said...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 11:20 am
I see where you're trying to go, but it doesn't work. It feels almost condesending to the admissions officer. I think I wrote one of these two when I didn't know what to say... didn't send it in, though. Keep working, good luck!
 
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