I'm Not Okay

October 17, 2011
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“I’m not okay!” This song screams self doubt and lack of confidence, right? I laugh in pure amazement as my thoughts shifted gears and a hyperactive yet subtle sound tumbled out of my speakers. The electric guitar carried an untainted melody while balancing a grunge rhythm. The emotion in the lead singer’s voice exposed a sense of desperation and persistence. The song was quick and to the point. The alternative style of the music caught me off guard due to the opening guitar solo. The unique tone of the song was unforgiving and harsh. Although the song was not my style it was captivating and remarkable. The recurring lyrics started to become imbedded into my head. The song was on TV, on the radio, in essence everywhere and it didn’t stop in the country. The band, MCR toured around the world playing their hit song and showing the world what they were made out of. There was one problem; no one knew what this song meant, including me.

The lyrics were indecipherable but after hearing the song repeatedly the message became evident. It was simple; it’s okay not to feel okay because every person has been in a predicament that slows them down. The song was honest and straightforward which is hard to find in today’s society as a result of meaningless music in the media industry. I took this message and applied it to my life as an experiment. I soon realized that this was not an easy task and the message is not truly conveyed until a person is in the right situation. The song became jaded and I put it on the backburner of my life because of SATS.

Weeks later my life became unmanageable and I was drowning in school work. Life seemed unbearable and I was beginning to lose myself because of the sudden death of my Uncle. A’s turned to F’s and major projects were overdue. School was overwhelming and the world abruptly turned sideways in my perspective. Suddenly, three words unexpectedly popped into my head. I’M NOT OKAY! The song came back to life and spoke volumes to me. This was the predicament I was waiting for and now I understood what MCR was trying to portray in their song. I began to work on anything I could find to overcome and take my mind off the situation. At the end of the day I felt accomplished but the message instantly felt like it was missing something. I began to ponder and decided to add a phrase to the message. What they don’t tell you in the song is that you’re going to be okay and the missing link was found. After my first frantic months of school, I was starting to understand that this song was the sound of life. The song describes the good, the bad, and the ugly which make up the key components of life and the bittersweet experiences we all share. I now apply this message to everyday life.

The message of life was buried beneath a pounding bass and guitar solos, waiting to be uncovered by a keen listener. I was dumbfounded to learn that I truly appreciate this song for influencing my life. Some people listen to music because they are bored or they like the beat; others listen to it for the lyrics. Whatever the reason is challenge yourself, try to find a message because at the end of the day it can change your life for the better. Are you okay?





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