I am happy.

October 6, 2011
By Anonymous

The day smelled like rain, and sweet dew from freshly cut grass. I was sitting on a swing in my backyard and clenching onto the pill bottle that I received from my psychiatrist. I wasn’t able to grasp, to comprehend why my life had spiraled out of control so quickly. To be told by a person you barely knew that you were severally depressed was one thing, but everything turned bleak when I found out I had to be medicated.

Ever since my fathers passing I wasn’t able to properly deal with everyday issues. It seemed as if I were a rock, unable to deal with any kind of negativity that seemed to keep following me like a boomerang. The depression seeped through me like a disease slowly easing its way into my thoughts and causing me to think irrationally, it was as if I was taken over. For years I was in a dark self loathing hole, trying to pry myself out of it to see the sunlight, but the dark was so strong, it kept reeling me back in; holding me captive. It seemed as if I would be locked away in the dark abyss forever.

Until one day, everything broke out in Technicolor, figuratively speaking of course. I finally realized I can overcome this hurdle that seemed to keep latching itself onto me. Opening my mouth I understood that I have a voice, so I started opening up about my life and talking about my past that haunted me everyday. As soon as I started talking I felt and immense wave of relief wash over me. I felt as if I can take on the world and nothing can ever bring me down. The medication I was on was soon thrown away because I realized I don’t need an artificial substance to make me happy. What I needed was staring me right in the face and that is love; from my family and my friends.

Overcoming something like this that was such an altering event in my life has really helped develop me into the young woman that I am today. Although it was only recently that I had this epiphany I am so great full to have experienced this in my life, everyone learns from events in their life, especially something that threatens to push you down into the ground. I can say to you that I am a strong woman that has been through the abyss and back. Not only have I overcome it I came out a champion, a champion for myself because I am happy and nothing will bring me down. Whatever life throws my way I will be able to charge through like a raging bull. I now have the ability to shape my future by myself without something that holds me back, I am free, and I am insanely happy.

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