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College Aadmissons Slip

IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, PLEASE ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:
ARE THERE SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, when I am not out hand knitting socks for orphans in France; I am usually out purchasing dog food for my Chihuahua Pookie.

People take a fancy to me because of my great taste, extraordinary personality, and breath-taking lumberjack skills. My endless array of hobbies includes fine art, fine dining, fine music, and fine taxidermy.

For enjoyment, I like to travel to the Antarctic Circle—only when my parents let me use their yacht. If I cannot use my ship, I usually call my Bff Paris Hilton to hitch a ride on her private jet.

I can easily repair broken computers, engines, and hearts. My goal in life was to become an architect, until I realized that I stunk at math. So instead, I chased after a more realistic vocation—becoming a ninja.

I would like to say that I stop to smell the daisies, but in my fast paced life, one can only smell burning rubber—that is, when I am winning a formula one competition.

I have been to Rome, San Francisco, Tokyo and outer space to play for my major league baseball team. Oh, by the way—we won all of our games. I have been crowned as the next Queen of England, elected as the next president of the United States, and allotted as the next Oprah of talk show television.

I have an irrational fear of failing, but I audaciously overcame it by getting held back in the fifth grade--two years in a row. I can drive my car, with a blindfold, while singing tawdry 80s show tunes.

I am the reason behind Tom Cruise’s success. I also happen to be the origin of Scientology. I can eat four hotdogs in four minutes, six pizzas in six minutes, and eight burritos in eight minutes. Please do not ask me to eat nine hamburgers in nine minutes though. I hate odd numbers.

I am highly skilled at reading, writing, breathing, eating, and sword fighting. I had an arm wrestling match with Arnold Schwarzenegger and lost—only because both of my arms were broken. Other than that, I would have won.

I have visited the Smurfs, hung out with the Vikings, and chilled with some CIA agents, but I have not gone to college yet.




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