My brother and I are story, how we became bad to good relationship

September 29, 2009
When I was in kindergarten, my brother and I were so friendly. One day, my brother hit me. I did not know why he beat me. I cried and punched him back. So I started to hate him. When I was in grade six, my brother and I always had arguments. One day, my brother came to my room for playing TV game. I did not understand why he came to my room because he had own TV in his room. Because of a small power cord problem, we had a big fight. My mother was disappointed and said, “You guys are stupid” After it happened I could not even see his eyes. Sometimes I was able see his eyes, but not talk. Then we might make up one another for some time. Soon after that, I started to live in Bangkok when I was in grade eight. However, my brother continued live in Japan.

Now we cannot meet very each other often as I live in Bangkok and he lives in Japan. We know how to meet once a year or every two years. Therefore, we have to talk by phone. First, I usually ask some questions about my homework when I call him. But gradually we are able to talk about our personal things after a while. For example, our recollection stories, lip talks and so on. I am capable of doing this because to accept my brother and we live apart each other. I thought the long distance can shorten our mind gaps of unimportant things.

Recently, we met each other in this pass summer. One day, my brother and I went to watch a movie at night. We talked about love stories first time and normally on the way to theater. We arrived at theater, my brother bought tickets, popcorn and coke for me. I felt happy like it had always been so. After watching the movie, I felt so happy and I fascinate asked, “Hey! How many girlfriends did you get?” My brother asked me with shy, “I don’t know! I can’t count about it!” I said, “Just kidding! Ok, I will change the question!! What is shocking comment from your girlfriends?” my brother told me so easy, “Your feeling is too deep for me!!!!” I agree. We talked about story of it, my brother’s love stories again and story in the future on the way to home. When we arrived at home, my mother, father and grandmother greeted, “Okaeri (Welcome home).” We replied, “We are home, the movie is good!!” The next day, my brother helped my homework. After finishing it, we went to a Shopping Mall. He chose my clothes for me. My brother treated me normally, so I realized that my brother is a good person.

The whole reason for my dislike of my brother disappeared with time and distance. We had a big fight over a stupid electric cord and for that we lost our friendship time in our home together. Then we were separated from each other. Now I know that the chance with my brother is important and we must treasure like that.

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HulaHottie24 said...
Oct. 18, 2009 at 10:54 pm
i understand the idea of this essay, but there is a lack of coherence. Instead of focusing on the feeling of discontent toward your brother, you go into a long story of why you two have been apart. it's a story, but shows minimal emotion. you need to go back, rephrase and make it more concise with more emotion
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