I was waiting for you to come back. I waited 6205 days for the chance to meet you again. I wanted real memories, ones that I could actually recall.  I knew you existed. I was told stories about our childhood. But for some reason it never felt like OUR childhood. It felt like these memories were not memories, but instead, just my imagination. I don't remember any of it. I see the pictures, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that those days actually happened. I went so long without any type of communication from you I was starting to feel like you weren’t real.  As I got older, I started to realize why you kept your distance. I saw what you saw. 

I thought they were good. At least they treated me well. I'm starting to think the only reason they did was so that I didn’t tell my dad, and so that they wouldn’t get in trouble with the court. (I don’t think they could have afforded the legal fees) Or maybe it was just to avoid getting custody taken away...again. But it wasn’t the same for you or our sister. You got the worst out of all of us. You saw what I chose to ignore. I see it now though, I see why you talk about them the way you do. I see why you talk about mom the way you do. I also see why you warned me about them.

 I waited 6205 days to meet you. I remember  texting  you, asking when you were going to come down to visit. You were so far out of reach. But you tried your best to not hurt my feelings and you would always tell me soon. “Soon” never really came around, though, did it? Or maybe soon was really code for five years later? We talk more now though. So maybe it was for the best to wait that long. I just sat and waited. I saw your life pass through pictures. 

I bought the tickets… I BOUGHT THE TICKETS!  Years of waiting and I finally had a date. April 21, 2020. I couldn’t sleep the night before. Morning came, the glass was cold, the streetlights seemed brighter than any regular night. The fog made everything blurry. I felt my stomach tighten because of my nerves. The heel of my foot repeatedly hit the floor of the airport for hours non-stop. This was the day I got to meet you for the first time again. A flight that should’ve been 2.5 hours turned into 5 because I got tickets with a layover. When I finally landed in Seattle, you were standing right there. I started to fast walk over to where you were standing. My brother, the little boy in all my childhood pictures, is now a 20 something-year-old man. The second I got to you I was greeted with a bear hug, 6205 days contained in that single embrace. There was no awkwardness between us. It was as if we were never apart. 6205 days felt like nothing, and the next 12 days quickly became the best days of my life. And I will wait to do it all over again if I have to.