Mysterious Girl Misunderstood | Teen Ink

Mysterious Girl Misunderstood

September 26, 2014
By averybarnes BRONZE, Rocky River, Ohio
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averybarnes BRONZE, Rocky River, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You're gonna go far kid"


Author's note:

Looking at myself unhappy caused me to write about just as instict which came to be more then just a few paragraphs. 

 
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oduction
Somewhere in this world i belong, but no where in this world will anyone or anything be just like me. Everywhere I go, little pieces of me fall of and brush onto other people. Personally I remind myself of those shells that you only find if you look oh so very hard. THat shell that’s flawless on the outside to some, but a fighter to others. Although in the inside… it’s like a soda bottle that’s been shaken up thousands of times and  its about to erupt. Pieces are missing, shells have latched on, mold is growing and there’s millions of holes. I call that shell “ The little shell that could”, that’s what i call myself.
My emotions are just waiting to erupt out of me every minute of every day. Not everyone can tell from the large walls i build around me, how much is put into the details of me. Little chunks are missing out of me from trying to give what I have to the people with absolutely nothing. They fall off when the waves of life take a turn for the worst. A piece of me sinks to the floor of the ocean where someone else picks it up. Because in life you really don’t realize that when you pass, you lose something you came with and gained something you didn’t have. THe words and the knowledge you learn from someone else is what you pick up and the words you speak into someone else is what they pick up. New people have joined me on my journey in life. As I travel, they join. Battles, worries, and pain grow over me. THey hide my shining light.  I guess i just need a car was sometimes. And my holes, oh my holes. I love them. Honestly i do! How could I be me if i do not acknowledge what I’ve been through? My holes are the battle scars, the hurtful words, the losts, the fails, the pains, the devil. He wants you to hate your holes and hide them. Well guess what… Don’t! Your flaws and holes are beautiful and you should love them.
Me, “ The little shell that could”.

I’ve come to learn that many people in this world are clever but are clueless.  Just absolutely clueless. just because society says it’s okay to lose your virginity. doesn’t mean it is.  And just because society says everybody has to be the same, doesn’t mean you have to… DOn’t! WE live in a time period where losing your phone is worse than losing your virginity. That’s not Okay. Who said that society is in charge of us? huh? No on one, Yeah that’s right, no one ever said that you have to listen to society or go with what everyone else is. Don’t you wanna look back and say that you did things that no one else did? Don’t let the world change your smile, Use your smile to change the world. Look at yourself. You’re Beautiful! But you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your precious words. Stop caring about what other people think. Wear what you want. Not what society says is “in” or “cool”. Say what you want. Not what you think people want to hear. But with that, speak your MIND even if your voice shakes. Because if you’re going to talk you better mean what you say. Mean it in your soul because you can change a lot about yourself but you can’t edit a soul. Listen to the music you want. Play it loud and dance to it. Go out and do something at midnight and for get you have tomorrow. Stop waiting. Live now. Do it now. This life is yours. I know you may think that you’re not strong enough but the harder you work and the way you look at things will either advance you or weaken you. It doesn’t matter who you are because someone once told me this,
“The mirror lies kid, it doesn’t show what’s inside.”
Those words hit me hard. They are true. Not every girl needs pretty blue eyes, white teeth, blonde hair, a thigh gap or a perfect body. Because the outside is a lie. Your true colors aren’t shown through a mirror of a photograph, they shine from your words, your actions, and your mind.
So be blind, don’t look in the mirror, don’t let societies socially constructed ideas of beauty get to you. But that’s not the only lie, you’re not afraid of society. You’re not afraid of the dark, you’re afraid of what’s in it. You’re not afraid of heights, Your afraid of falling. You’re not afraid of the people around you, You’re just afraid of rejection. You’re not afraid of love, You’re just afraid of not being loved back. You’re not afraid of letting go, You’re just afraid to accept the reality that they are already gone. You’re not afraid of society, You’re just afraid to be yourself. But do you even remember how to be yourself? know I didn’t for a long time. I followed other people, I relied on other people for everything. Be a voice not an echo. Don’t walk in the shadows of others. Renown. Make your own. Because in the end, It makes you stronger. Stand tall, Stand strong. Don’t be afraid to fall.  Because sometimes you have to fall lower than you’ve ever gone to stand taller than you ever were. And remember that, because when life is going good and it cuts you at the knees and then the waist remember that you’ll end up taller than you were before. Remember the shell.

As a 13 year old girl, I’ve been through more than most 13 year girls have. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t use it as an excuse, I use it as a story. But For a long time i couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy. then I realized that since my life and experiences where a story that I was re reading the other chapters of my life. SO i skipped through my book and saw that there was space for a new chapter. I started there. Skip through yours, Do you have room to start a new chapter? If you do, Write a happy chapter. If you don’t something is holding you back. find yourself. You might be stuck in something that you thought was over. I know that that happened to me in 7th grade. Something that I had to deal with just kept pulling me back and back and it crumbled me like cookie crumbs. I thought i wasn’t ever gonna become unstuck but i did. I pushed through it and I handled it in a mature, responsible way. That’s what you have to do. Push on and know that there is always a better way to deal with it. because in the end we are all dreamers in and endless universe. We all dream of what we want and we all expand our minds to no end. There is nothing you can’t dream of. But don’t let your dreams block what you can actually accomplish. We all have dreams and we all have goals. Make your dream a goal. Get unstuck from what’s holding you back in the last chapter so you can advance into your next.  This world we live in is like a dye. There are 6 side. Your side, the bad side, the good side, societies side, the fantasy side, and the strong side, You choose your side, you roll the dye. Because there are people out there who will try to make you fall and fail, but there are also people who will help you thrive. You just have to find them. they are there own shell. If you look oh so very hard, you will find them.

Someone once asked me why i am so nice to people who treat me so poorly, and i didn’t know the answer. Then while i was in class, after i finished my test, i looked around and realized why. I saw the boy who made fun of me and saw that his head was on his desk, he looked tired. I knew he was in band and that he had to get here early. I wondered if something at home kept him up. Then i saw the girl who started a rumor about me and a boy. I realized that her and her boyfriend just broke up and that it must of been really hard on her. And i know that people were mean to her because she was a little different. Why? Then i thought of the boy who gave me a mean look in the hallway that day, what was his story? I knew that his parents are divorced, maybe something happened. I think of the boy who tries his best but the teachers always seem to forget about him, i don’t. I say hi to him in the hallway but he just keeps walking. I know that it takes a lot to feel accepted so i understood. I thought of the girl who thought everyone likes her and is really mean. I try to talk to her but she snaps. I wonder if other people are being mean to her. You never know anyones story. And no matter what, no one has it easy. Society makes you think that you should treat people how they treat you. But if you do that, the days would be sad. think of the stories that people hold behind them. They mean something and they tell their own stories. I read this one quote and it made me realize that the things we enjoy get remodeled by society and come back to us.
“Sleep overs become Raggers. Juice becomes alcohol. Candy becomes weed. Butter knifes become razor blades. Scraped knees become slit wrists. Death becomes a trend. 2+2 becomes 2x(5+7)6=5x/78. Timeouts become detentions. Training bras become push-up. Good girls become brats to say the least. Bikes become cars. Cooties become broken hearts. And we become what we said we wouldn’t be.” It really shows how much society changes us as we grow up. Why did we say we wanted to grow up so fast?
They tell you to be yourself but then they judge you on it. You are you. You own your words, your actions, your body, your thoughts. Why should you let someone impact how you speak, act, look, or think? Society makes everyone think that if you aren’t like everyone else that you are weird, gross, different, or unwanted. It makes you think that what is society is beautiful. But you know what I think is beautiful. Being yourself. Being what god made you to be. Follow your dreams. Don’t worry what people think or say about you when you are you because they can think what they want but if you are you who is there to judge you? Make them easily be able to pick something out about you that they don’t like because if they have time to contradict your life they obviously care a lot about you. Start right now. Start to love every part of you because there is no one else out there like you and there never will be. You have to be strong to realize that you are way better than what society ranks you as. But you will never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have. Strength doesn’t come from winning. Your struggles develop Your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that’s strength.
But Remember if everyone always thinks that you are strong they will walk all over you. Yes, this concept is very confusing but I’ll show you how to deal with it without taking a giant step into stuff that you don’t want to be in. It’s simple. Be strong when you need to be but don’t stay strong because you will break. No one can carry that much on their shoulders. Trust me and listen. I thought I could to and i did for about a year but then I broke. I started caring about what people thought about me. Don’t give in to that. THat is society throwing bait out to you and you biting it. Don’t give into the things that can be so easily avoided. Society will shoot at you again and again you. DOn’t fall. SOme of you will. Please stay tall and wise. The more you work and the more “you” you are, the farther you will fall. SHow that you are unstoppable and that they can’t stop you. SHow how true and powerful you are. Because you are. If you run, they will shoot more. Don’t run. Show true power and courage and stay standing.
No one tells the beginners this, but you’ll get through it love. You will. Life goes on, An Arrow can only be launched by pulling it backward. so just remember that when life pulls at you, you are going to land somewhere wonderful so just focus and keep aiming.  Because you’re right, people lie, cheat, and back stab you, There will be people who use you and tell you they love you even when they don’t. You can’t let that stop you from living. Because there are people out there who do love you. And would never hurt you. You have just have to find those people and keep them in your life forever. No one ever tells you that. NO one ever notices your tears. NO one ever notices your sadness. No one notices your pain. But they all notice your mistakes. How is that. If you make a mistake that everyone will notice? it’s because society says that it’s not okay to make a mistake and that everyone must be perfect.



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