Where did you go Daddy?
Author's note: I bottled up my feelings for years until they just came flooding out, and this is my way of... Show full author's note »
Good nights and GoodbyesDreams can kill. Kill your spirit. Your hopes. They leave you with nothing.
Last night I dreamed of you. I dreamed that I got three wishes. My first wish was for you to come back, and you did. We fought for you, for your attention. I hated it. Why was it a competition if you were here forever now? In the dream my sisters made me feel worthless and unworthy of your love. I was nothing. Fighting. Yelling. Crying. My ears hurt, and my eyes were tired.
Why did my perfect dream become a nightmare? It wasn't real that's why and it never could be. I could never have you in my life again, I could never tell you I love you again, smell you again, feel your warm hugs again, it was over, but yet my perfect dream, wasn't so perfect after all.
The only perfect thing about it was that I saw you again, for the first time in three years I really saw you. Your shaggy brown hair lay straggling across your soft precious face. Your big beautiful blue eyes looked into mine, and your scratchy hands held me once again. You ran to my mother and told you you loved her, you ran to her and kissed her and it was like everything that happened in the past never actually happened, and that this dream was real life and the past was really a dream. Could you imagine?
In that moment, everything that happened after, the yelling, the fighting, the crying, none of it mattered. I got to see you! I got to see my daddy, and God do I miss you.. I could say it a million times and ways and I would never get tired of those three words.
I miss you.
Tu me manques.
Te echo de menos.
If I knew more languages I wouldn't stop there.
You knew I missed you, in the dream you knew, and before I was about to wake up, your beautiful blue eyes got sad, and when I asked what was wrong, I woke up before the words came out of your mouth.
What were you going to tell me daddy?
Don't leave me now, don't leave me period, and if I go to sleep again will you come back? No.