Where did you go Daddy?
Author's note: I bottled up my feelings for years until they just came flooding out, and this is my way of... Show full author's note »
The Plug...The phone rings. I know what this is, it’s the scene in the movie that turns to slow motion while everybody cries. I feared this moment, in my alternate universe this would never happen. Instead it would be a phone call saying a miracle happened! Don’t we all want things in life that we don’t get? I wander if this would ever happen if Adam and Eve never ate that apple...
It is May 25, 2008. My daddy is in pain, and he isn’t going to make it. His kidneys are failing and now his livers are too, he has nothing left to keep him alive except machines. Those machines I oppose of so much, the many noises they make, and when the constant same beeping noises suddenly change it fools everyone into some cardiac arrest. But it is time, we have to pull the plug.
‘Pulling the plug…’ Can they make it any worse sounding then that? I feel as if I am giving up on him, but it’s for the best, right? I’m so shocked right now, I can’t breathe. I want to go with my mom to say a final goodbye to my dad, but she says no. I really wish I could’ve gone, to whisper in his ears ‘I love you.’ My mom is right in some sense though, there is just something about seeing a person’s life get drained away right before your eyes, that just melts your soul.
All I think about is the movie, Monkey Bone when they show the character, Stew’s body just being deflated when they pull the plug and all that is left is his deflated skin. Nothing else. Surely that is not how it happens, but the thought sends a chill down my spine. It’s final. He is gone. Gone? No, remember Candra this is a dream! Wake up. WAKE UP!!! I am awake, awake in a nightmare.