The other side of my sister

January 29, 2013
By Lydia3 BRONZE, Jacksonville, Florida
Lydia3 BRONZE, Jacksonville, Florida
1 article 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always Expect The Unexpected For It Most Likely Won't Happen"


Summary:

Like any other story this one may be common to most people and if you were to ask them how the story goes they would tell you everything including all the others that go together with it .
Cinderella a very old but common story and movie to almost everyone : with all the other different types that have been made, I’m sure almost everyone whose watched it can tell you the beginning, climax, and end.


Mysterygirl3

The other side of my sister


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 7 comments.


Lydia3 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 8 2013 at 9:56 am
Lydia3 BRONZE, Jacksonville, Florida
1 article 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always Expect The Unexpected For It Most Likely Won't Happen"

Thanks for the helpful feedback i'll work on that..

on Jun. 7 2013 at 11:26 pm
LiraDaeris PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

The story seems to be doing alright, but the presentation is all over the place. When a new character speaks, they get a new paragraph. Also, in introductions, veer away from "Hello! I'm bladebla and I'm going to tell you why my life sucks!" kind of introductions. There is a very very small niche where these can actuall work, and it is usually a children's show setting. Also grammar was off. I only get down about this because presentation is key to writing a good book, and I want you to be able to get your ideas and stories out there.

Yolo22 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 8 2013 at 3:54 pm
Yolo22 BRONZE, Larned, Kansas
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments
i like peaches

nikki1 SILVER said...
on Mar. 29 2013 at 11:26 am
nikki1 SILVER, Tunkahnnock, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
i love you not only for what you are but for what i am when i am with you

oh my god i want to read more. this is truly outstanding!

Lydia3 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 19 2013 at 9:19 pm
Lydia3 BRONZE, Jacksonville, Florida
1 article 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always Expect The Unexpected For It Most Likely Won't Happen"

i made another charpter and i hope you like this one even tho its kinda different but same everything but anyways i hope you do like it.

Powla SILVER said...
on Mar. 12 2013 at 11:49 am
Powla SILVER, PHX, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can complain that roses have thorns, or you can rejoice that thorns have roses.
-Ziggy-

u cut it at a huge cliffhanger! make another chapter! go go go go go! XD

Mysterygirl3 said...
on Feb. 5 2013 at 4:32 pm
i would like to know if i should post another chapter or chapters please let me know 


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!