Dislocation

September 23, 2009
By GOlacieGO GOLD, Lawrenceburg, Indiana
GOlacieGO GOLD, Lawrenceburg, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift, who will use it up and wring it out and drag it around like a favorite sweater." -SN


I was goofing off with a friend
but our fun came quick to an end.
We wrestled around
'till I made a loud sound.
Now I must wait for my shoulder to mend.


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This article has 2 comments.


on Apr. 6 2011 at 12:09 pm
i can relate to this poem because it reminds me of when youre having too much fun and your mom tells you " someones going to get hurt doing that " & in the end , its alwayss you.

colcojo said...
on Oct. 15 2009 at 7:59 pm
Haha! That was a funny, simple poem. The first thing I would like to commend you on in your limerick is how you did not come out openly and tell us that you dislocated your shoulder, but rather let the title "Dislocation" and the last three lines, "We wrestled around

'till I made a loud sound.

Now I must wait for my shoulder to mend." SHOW us what happened. It seems to me that in doing it that way, my mind repeatedly played out that scene in my head, alternating the ways that your shoulder was twisted (ugh). It made for some capturing imagery. I would also like to point out that you, and very cleverly so, put to use the literay device "foreshadowing" in the second line when you said, "but our fun came quick to an end." This made me actually stop in mid-stanza and wonder what was going to happen next. Another reason I liked the whole forshadowing part is because rarely do you find a limerick that employs it, or most poems, for that matter. On the whole, I think you did an exemplary job, and wrote a poem that incorporates many diffrent elements.


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