Beneath the Current MAG

May 21, 2009
By wingsofadove BRONZE, Sellersville, Pennsylvania
wingsofadove BRONZE, Sellersville, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Strawberry-stained cheeks
soft yellow waves, gold
in glimmers under the sun.
Toes dipped into frost-tipped,
exhilarating glass
A world fills the eyes.

Crystals on water
green short fur, standing on end
coating the solid slate of the earth,
silently living.
All the sweet claws and
bits of blue-green striped
fins fluttering forth
in an endless world
beneath the current.


The author's comments:
A haiku poem.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 14 comments.


NoniDoni GOLD said...
on Jan. 8 2015 at 8:29 pm
NoniDoni GOLD, Calabasas, California
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments
Thats beautiful! The imagery is amazing! Check out and give feedback on my poem called black and the other one called sunless!

on Jun. 19 2014 at 10:38 am
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1492 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

This is great, you're a wonderful writer. You're really talented. I hope you know, someone thinks you're a treasure and that they look up to you. 

on May. 1 2014 at 11:35 pm
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE, Chestnut Ridge, New York
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" ~ Dr. Seuss
"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Phenomenal. I'm in awe with your words :)

KylieV SILVER said...
on Aug. 6 2013 at 10:37 pm
KylieV SILVER, Goose Creek, South Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This poem was very desciptive and eloquent. There are a few good examples of consonance: "... solid state", "bits of blue-green...", "Strawberry stained...", etc. There was also a good example of assonance: "Toes dipped into frost- tipped, exhilarating glass." Great poem!

on Jul. 24 2013 at 9:22 am
writefearless SILVER, Manila, Other
8 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
scare your fear before it scares you.

the imagrey is wonderful :) good job!

asofnow GOLD said...
on Apr. 17 2013 at 12:53 pm
asofnow GOLD, Troy, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing gold can stay ~ Robert Frost

i agree with above comment. Despite this. it is an amazing poem :D

on Jul. 18 2012 at 10:19 am
Wearing_Westwood GOLD, Cary, North Carolina
18 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things. -Ray Bradbury

five syllables first

then there are seven of them

five, seven, then five


on Jul. 18 2012 at 10:17 am
Wearing_Westwood GOLD, Cary, North Carolina
18 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things. -Ray Bradbury

This is not a haiku.

This is free verse poetry.

thank you.


yaispretty said...
on Oct. 31 2011 at 5:32 pm
it was pretty good i wouldnt say it was "beautiful" id say it was pretty and descriptive.

on Feb. 4 2011 at 9:50 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

Ooh :DD beautiful awesome description there...

on Aug. 23 2010 at 9:24 am
TheOcherousRodentia PLATINUM, Toronto, Other
29 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is infinitely growing;
It's capacity of love and fear is impossible
To calculate by the means of math, or
The properties of science, and to conatain
Its ferious unpredictability is only a virtue
That humans despire

Simply Wondrous! You are so descriptive, and imaginative, I especiall love the way you used capitals to emphasize certain lines ! Keep on writing!

on Mar. 3 2010 at 6:30 pm
Sabrinahco GOLD, Jefferson City, Missouri
10 articles 2 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you're not first, you're last"

This is really good!

I love how many words you used to describe things. The glassy eyes part was my favorite. Keep writing! (:

on Dec. 20 2009 at 12:57 pm
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
29 articles 0 photos 267 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving up is not a part of my vocabulary."
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
"Truth be told I miss ya, truth be told I'm lying."

agree with aleece. amazing descriptionz

Aleece GOLD said...
on Nov. 3 2009 at 2:44 pm
Aleece GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
10 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm not random, I just have many thoughts!"

Wow, this is good. I love it! That's some really intense figurative language!


Parkland Book