Loneliness is not determined by how many people surround you, how many people adore you or love you.
Feeling alone is something I've felt for a good portion of my life.
You can be surrounded by 200, 20, 2 or absolutely no one and you feel the exact same no matter the number of those around you.
You are numb. You have been. It's what you've become comfortable with.
Until someone made you stop feeling so senseless.
Those moments in his arms is the most alive you’ve felt in years.
He made you feel, safe, secure, and special.
You thought he was different.
You thought he was falling for your eyes like you were with his beautiful oceans of brown.
But he didn't love your eyes. No, he just wanted to be between your thighs.
And you let him because you thought he was different.
You let him because he made you feel something other than the nothingness you've come to know.
And you love the nothingness because it kept you safe from people like him.
But you let your guard down.
You always do this.
You're too trusting.
You always think they're different. But they never are. And never will be.
Because no one could love something as disgusting as you are.