Inconsistency | Teen Ink

Inconsistency

October 19, 2017
By Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF


Here I go again, writing about you
Just when I thought I was through
You don’t care, so how come I do?
Feels like my situation’s become askew
My mind has me tied and subdued
Now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
Part of me thinks there were things left unsaid
Part of me thought what I felt for you was dead
I’m surprised you still linger in my head
Told me I was good enough, but I can’t let myself believe what you said
You were the one who went and left me
Then we were barely friends, you know exactly what I mean
And as far as I can see
I had all the reason to stop and leave
So why do I lament?
The pain from seeing you is too frequent
Leaving was never my first intent
You said you’d change, but kept up the torment
I told you how I felt
Your promises seemed heartfelt
Leaving was the hand I was dealt
I’ve become too tired
Don’t know why I can’t see I’m something you don’t desire
Crazy how pain from you gets me so inspired,
To keep writing these poems
It’s easy for me to get lost in my swirl of emotions
Sometimes there’s no motion, I become frozen
And just for a moment,
I honestly feel like I miss you
But you’re someone I can’t go back to
Or are you?
How long has it been, a month or two?
I guess time really flew
Sometimes I wish I knew
If I’m ever on your mind
Truthfully, I feel like I was too kind
Perhaps when we started it was ill-timed
Yeah, it was definitely rushed
If only we stopped and truly discussed
Maybe we would’ve been able to adjust
Might’ve done away with the distrust
But that’s all what if, it won’t happen
For you, I felt true passion
I know I made dumb and immature actions
I know I didn’t give you enough satisfaction
And I know I didn’t talk a lot
Well sorry, social awkwardness is what I’ve got
Wish you told me what you really thought
You told lie after lie, right?
Certainly didn’t help shed any light
So here I am, getting myself to write
Battling me and myself, it’s no easy fight
But maybe I’m wrong
Here I thought I could be strong
And do my best to move on
And here I am questioning
The voices get deafening
Wish I could say the pain’s lessening
Honestly, it isn’t
Still stuck inside a prison
And despite being driven
Something still feels missing
Trying to make a decision
I’m in a difficult position
Am I losing my ambition?
Lost in my division
I’m no good in this condition
Feels like I’ve become more deficient
Wish my end goal didn’t feel so distant
Writing doesn’t feel sufficient
I was knocked down, don’t know if I’ve risen
I want to achieve what I’ve envisioned
Achieving an end to this transposition
I need answers to finish this expedition
But maybe my answers lie where I’ve already written


The author's comments:

Yet again, this is a follow up to my last two poems ("Mind In Mayhem" and "Broken Relationship"), and is the longest poem I've ever written to date. May as well be a trilogy in all honesty. Probably going to extend beyond that if I'm being honest with myself. Anyway, lately I've been having very conflicting thoughts about this girl, despite not having talked to her in 2-3 ish weeks. I decided the title "Inconsistency" due to it being a real inconsistency in my head. I let go of her, so why do I have feelings for her still? Essentially, that's the message I try to convey. As well as trying to prove to myself that I have all the reason to not feel anything for her any longer. And in general, my poems do get a bit off track and inconsistent at times, so there’s a bit of poking fun at myself in the title. Hope you enjoy


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This article has 12 comments.


on Nov. 27 2017 at 11:03 am
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF

Already did. Pretty decent

on Nov. 25 2017 at 2:59 pm
ShrivastavaM SILVER, Delhi, Other
5 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself no matter what

Why not @darkmoon115

on Nov. 21 2017 at 9:37 am
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF

I do go for it, I just don't expect anyone to like it lol

on Nov. 21 2017 at 1:19 am
ElisaTheDuck ELITE, Rigaud, Other
323 articles 5 photos 166 comments

Favorite Quote:
LOOK AT MY PROFILE. DO IT.

If this sort of pain makes you write, go for it. Who knows? Poetry could change you into someone better.

on Nov. 19 2017 at 7:54 pm
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF

I'll check it out when I get the time then

on Nov. 17 2017 at 2:49 pm
ShrivastavaM SILVER, Delhi, Other
5 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself no matter what

Why don't you check out mine? It's like a story

on Nov. 17 2017 at 2:23 pm
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF

I suppose. But even then, I just post stuff here not expecting any reaction from anyone

on Nov. 17 2017 at 11:44 am
ShrivastavaM SILVER, Delhi, Other
5 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself no matter what

Even I don't know how I get here to your poem well I am new so could you tell how people connect here to share their work

on Nov. 17 2017 at 9:29 am
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF

Guess I just think my work isn't that great. Plus, I figure a lot of other people have made poems like these

on Nov. 16 2017 at 11:08 pm
ShrivastavaM SILVER, Delhi, Other
5 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself no matter what

Why?its so real otherwise here you find mostly poems on non living thing or some imagination which I understand SOMEtimes

on Nov. 16 2017 at 11:13 am
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF

Completely understandable. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much of anyone to relate to this

on Nov. 14 2017 at 3:54 am
ShrivastavaM SILVER, Delhi, Other
5 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself no matter what

So relatable I can totally feel your emotions same problem is with me I can't get that girl out of my head I know she doesn't care anymore she is not even rude to me it's just the situation. She was the one who made me feel so connected to her and then she left me I know I shouldn't think about her but at the corner of my mind I miss the moments then I start to hate her for a sec but then realised it's not her fault I was the one so deep into it not her why do I care about her caring about me ? Can't help