replay. repeat. | Teen Ink

replay. repeat. MAG

September 28, 2017
By elfruits SILVER, Arlington, Texas
elfruits SILVER, Arlington, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

a step, a stumble, it all crumbles
set a foot to the ground, it all falls down
dread entangles limbs.
replay. repeat.
one foot forward, one backward
no cracks, no cracks
step on a crack, break your mother’s back.
click. turn. click.
check the lock. check the lock.
it’s not locked.
replay. repeat.
click, clack, click, clack
wait. doesn’t feel locked
can’t just leave it unlocked.
yanking, pulling, what am i doing
hair around feet, laid on sheets
texture tickles fingers.
replay. repeat.
a pluck of hair, a pluck of hair
until there’s no more there
sore fingers peck a raw scalp bare
voices pound a swollen brain to pulp
stop. redo. reassess. stop. redo. reassess.
a never-ending cycle.
replay. repeat.
i screamed, i cried, i really tried
but by then
it seemed that my free will had died
replay. repeat.


The author's comments:

This piece is heavily personal. I've suffered from severe OCD my entire life and I feel as if people don't understand how debilitating and painful it can be. Many peers of mine like to use OCD as a cute quirk, a harmless thing. But just because they like to keep their stuff organized or have a clean room does not mean that they inherently have OCD. I just want people to begin to understand that mental illness isn't cute. It isn't trendy. It's a powerful force that can tear lives to shreds without proper help and guidance. So I wrote this poem about my struggles, my helplessness, and my pain that's been caused by mental illness, in hopes that I could change the way that at least one person feels about this subject.


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This article has 3 comments.


i love this !

on Dec. 14 2017 at 2:38 pm
A.lovethegreat SILVER, Adel, Iowa
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
“F is for fire that burns down the whole town. U is uranium-bombs. N IS FOR NO SURVIVORS!”

I have anxiety and depression (soon ADHD). I know that mental illness isn't and will never be funny, have a good day and I hope you get better.

This is great. Excellent. I love it.