In my mind (#3)

In my mind

we were perfection

balance, the completion of one

another. Soul mates with destiny carved

in the stars. That's what I thought

until you disappeared,

and I realised

I'm

wrong. My world fell from its

heights, I found myself on the

ground where I started, burned up

from the inside out. Hopelessly in

love with your ghost falling more

and more in love but it's

not

real. Only part of me

chooses to recognize this fact.

So I repeat it to myself again and

again so that one day I might get

lucky and feel nothing, this

is my definition of

okay

emptiness, but I'm not empty if

the loss of your prescence continues

to plague me. Continues to

suffocate me, so I must still have

a heart; working to spread hope

to a body that knows its better off

without

life. but I'm too scared

to die, knowing you're out there.

Even if you're with someone

else, someone better. Even if

you are the one who left me

Even if every morning I wake and

my first conscious breath scatters

the fog from my memories of

you.

I'm not okay without you.