All I Ever Wanted | Teen Ink

All I Ever Wanted

January 20, 2017
By KawaiiCooper DIAMOND, Winter Garden, Florida
KawaiiCooper DIAMOND, Winter Garden, Florida
56 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head."


Cold breeze
Scarring my bare
Back,
A shiver
Ripping across
My skin.

I could think
Of the present,
The near future.

And I do.

But my mind
Always returns
To you,
Just like the
Rest of me.

Saying
I’m yours
Is a gross
Overstatement
Considering
Your scalding
Rejection.

Excuse after
Excuse,
Boiling water
Slipping between
My blistered
Fingertips.

I lost you.

I lost you
And despite
My best
Efforts,
There will
Never be
A wholesome
Recovery.

No more
Gentle kisses
Or
Shared giggles,
The memory
Of you wearing
My spiked
Cat ears
In the movie
Theater,
Aching to hold
You,
Kiss
You,
Protect
You.

Heal
You.

I loved you.
I’m certain
I still do.

I never should
Have gotten
Mad, ceased
Contact.

I miss you.

And I moved
On but my
Feet keep
Tripping over
Themselves
And I _need_ you.

I need you back.

You’re warm smiles
And furious giggling
And I’m shaky tears
And restless shivering
When everyone else,
The sun included,
Is asleep.

I’m soggy pillowcases
And nails biting
My palm.

I’m scared.

I’m scared for you.

Scared you’re hurt.

Dead.

I take it back.

Please, we can
Be friends.

Anything.

What I want
Doesn’t mater.

I’ve been where
You’ve been
And
I know what
It’s like
And I can help.

I can help.

Please, let me help.

I can heal you.

I can make you
Happy.

It’s all
I’ve ever
Wanted
And I
Was foolish
To be mad
Just please…

Tell me you’re
Okay.
Safe.

That you
Think of me
Like I
Think of you.

Smiling,
Warm,
Remembering
All the good
And
None of the bad.

I’m not asking
For you
To take me back.

I just want
To know
You’re okay.
It’s all
I’ve ever wanted.

And now
More than
Ever.



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