Dying, Leaving | Teen Ink

Dying, Leaving

January 20, 2017
By KawaiiCooper DIAMOND, Winter Garden, Florida
KawaiiCooper DIAMOND, Winter Garden, Florida
56 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head."


It’d been brewing
In my head
For years,
Swelling
With every
Dark thought,
Every coarse
Giggle.

Start the clock,
The end’s begun.

Breaking the news,
A look of happiness
Morphing to dread.

Tears.

That hollow
Peace
I’ve come to
Recognize
Sweeping
Across every
Pore.

But my
Acceptance
Isn’t enough,
Not anymore.

And so
I hold her,
Smoothing her
Hair like I have
So many times,
Kissing her
Where I can reach,
Rubbing between
Her shoulder blades.

No more.

No more of this.

And something
New strikes me:
I’m not just leaving
A body behind.

Something more,
Something greater.
Something that
Used to be
So magical,
So strong
That I felt
Immortal,
Invincible.

Real,
Unconditional.

Love.

And I know
I’m young,
Shouldn’t be
Involved
In such emotional,
Trivial situations.

I was stupid,
I know.

But I started
And didn’t want
To stop
And this
Is good
In more ways
Than one:
I can feel.

I can feel
When I couldn’t
Before
And that’s
Something
Pills
And the hired
Care of a
Professional
Can’t grant.

Couldn’t grant.

I knew
My mind
Would be the
End
Of me.

I just didn’t
Know
It’d be
Like this.

Call it irony,
Because that’s
Exactly
What it is.

My head
Pounds with
Grim,
Splitting
From the seams
Of my skull,
Dying from the
Inside.

Dying.

Leaving.

And eventually,
In the sterile
Walls of
A foreboding
Hospital…

Gone.



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