When I was eight
I wanted to show the world
I was thin enough.
So I would let the wind knock me down
to show them I was frail enough
            small enough.

To stand strong was to be sturdy
well meaning adults told me I was sturdy
     all the time
                         but when they said sturdy,
    I heard fat.

So I would stand in the soccer field
and allow myself to fall to the ground
whenever a boy walked by
  because to be fat in this world means to be unattractive
           unsuccessful
           unloved
      as any well meaning Disney movie told me with every
      overweight villain on screen.

So I would let myself fall
   my pants would collect dirt
   my elbows would be black and blue
but I was small enough in my mind

 so it was okay.

One particularly blustery day
I forgot to keep up my charade
  and I stood strong through the gust
I realized
  standing up for yourself
  feels better than falling down for others.