Misconstrued Love | Teen Ink

Misconstrued Love

June 4, 2016
By Anonymous

What you have after us isn't love. It's spite, desparation, isolation, and the only thing you can have now. Sucked in the spit and nourished the seed of hate. To force your own partner to change their gender identity is not something formed or done from love. Love is accepting of every asepct of the other person. It is so clear that your partner is a man, although biologically a female. You force him to be a her because they know your "love" wouldn't be as strong if he stood up to you and demanded that you call him a him instead of her. That's just so so f*cked up I can't even understand how someone I used to love could be that terrible. I know for a fact that you dated him just to spite me. I know it through your loose lips on a drunken night you can't rememeber, but I do. Screaming in the hospital about how you love me so much, but ignoring someone who loved you. I remember that night, you were so wasted; you admitted that you were warping that relationship with your boyfriend to be like ours. Now that you actually hate me, your relationship is different now, but the fact you even attempted that is horrifying. 

No, what you have isn't love. It is what you use to escape the truth of your own faults. You both hate yourselves so much, but can't stand to be on your own. Everyone knows what you two share isn't love, no one likes you enough to say anything anymore. You only forced your partner to come back to you so that you'd have something to screw the night I called you up and told you we should stop talking. That's exactly what happend because your boyfriend cheated on someone with you that night. Your boyfriend isn't your girlfriend. He is a boyfriend. The only reason you force him to be called her is because you can't stand the thought of you screwing a dude. You're the high and mighty straight guy who likes to bang chicks, and chicks only. You're that type of guy. I can't believe I put up with that for three years. 

What we had wasn't love either. You pushed me time and time to give you head, when guess what, I'm a sex repulsed asexual. You guilted me into having sex time after time. We would fight constantly because you weren't good enough naturally to be what I needed, and your limits still weren't there either. We fought because I was tired of taking care of you and pushing you to be better than you ever could be. Our love was only happy with alcohol. I guess with your new one it's that way too. All you do is take and take and give nothing back. I was tired of that too. 

Everyone sees how toxic your new relationship is. You spent your last year of high school isolated with someone because they didn't like you being around other people. You spent your last year being the most unsupportive scum of the school community. You didn't even support your own arts deparment. That's just sad and pathetic. You even lied to a lifelong friend of yours. You told him you'd go to the event, walked in with all of us, went to the back, grabbed some cookies and left with your "girlfriend". That's disgusting. You both have no one else to be with because your boyfriend is so bad that he pulled you down with him. Do you even know that for a week, you were the other guy? I bet you don't because your boyfriend is a snake. Wrapping himself around you and poisoning you to make sure you're blind to all of his bull. That really isn't love, and if you both think it is, you both need to be taught what love genuinely is. You don't even have a step in the right direction. It's toxic. You only spent time with each other, and each other alone. You couldn't go out and hang out with other friends. You have to cut your sleep just to make your boyfriend happy. You have gone downhill since I told you we could no longer talk. Everyone who loved you, no longer cares for you. You're stuck with your "girlfriend" and him alone. 

You both were the perfect match made in hell, honestly. That was everyone's secret nickname for your relationship, and probably will be forever. You treated me terribly, and I'm only the bad guy because I tried to stand up for myself. You constantly scream at me. For the record, your love is unoriginal. Everything you post about "her" is all things you've posted for me. I'm sure if you loved him as much as you loved me you'd be writing paragraphs with each post, but you don't. The only different thing about your expression of love for HIM is the theme and emojis, but that still doesn't make it original sweetie. I hope your boyfriend lives with that fact too. That everything you show your love for with him has been done with me and all the other girls. I hope your boyfriend realizes that he is no different to all the other girls you've been with, especially not to me since I was the first, last, and only true love of your life. Maybe then he will realize that all the bad stuff he said behind your back while you were together he should actually see genuinely. I'll tell you this, he knew you guys were bad. He talked to all of our friends about how bad you were for him, how you made him make terrible choices, how bad you were for each other, how he only called himself her for you because he knew you'd never accept him as a man. That still holds true to this day. He even calls himself a king, but once you post about him, you're the only male royalty, and he's no more than your girlfriend. The girlfriend who makes you scream at me for no reason. The girlfriend who makes you feel like you're right even when you're making the worst choices of your life. The girlfriend who doesn't even try to support or act like they want to be a part of your family. I'm still so pissed at you for that night you thought any female voice talking badly about you was mine, so you decided to scream at me like a big boy. You know, screaming at me in public was the big reason I dumped you to begin with. I don't blame you though, I know that your tempertantrums like that, or landing yourself in the hospital are just your ways of getting my attention because I know you still want it. Otherwise, you wouldn't throw a tempertantrum everytime I stop giving you any attention. At least I wasn't that girlfriend, and that your boyfriend is the one who destroyed you, and never built you back up to be greater than before. At least with me, everytime you fell, I picked you up and made you greater than the last time. 

Lastly, sorry I'm not white. You do realize that your family really never accepted me for my ethnicity. They shower your "girlfriend" because he's white. You were the best version of yourself ever with me, and now you're your worst, but they still adore your partner because he's white. I'm honestly so glad I jumped that ship. If I wanted to, we could have been flying place to place and spending hundreds and thousands of dollars, but I thought our love was simple, and love doesn't need money to be happy and exist. I never asked your family to spend hundreds of dollars just to spend time with me because we didn't need it. Here you are now though, spending money your family really doesn't have because you can't be alone from the only person who can act happy with who you are now. That's sad that you both cling so badly. That he's making you use so much money just to be with him. Sorry I never had the money to spoil you, but I don't waste my parent's money because we don't have it, and when we do that's just a bad desicion. At least with me you weren't a cigarette smoking, drug addict, and alcoholic who pops pills to make himself happy. I gave you more than he ever could, and that was strength, but you never even thought about giving me anything back. It's so sad to see that I was the best thing to ever happen to you. Orignally I wouldn't have said that, but countless times people have said that to me over and over again, and I see why that is. I really was, and you said so yourself, even during the year we weren't together. You might say that about the boyfriend you force call them girlfriend now, but everyone knows your social medias are just lies. Lies so that you can spite me and the world like Romeo and Juliette, so that you can lie and make it seem like you guys are healthy and happy together. If you really were though, there wouldn't be such a need for the publicity and the obvious act. Sorry you feel the need to spite me so desparately. You were better off being lovesick for me, and that's sad in its own. At least I know that I was not the terrible one of the two, maybe bad, but not terrible. You could have never been good enough for me because your best wasn't what I needed ever, and I shouldn't have had to push you like that. With me you were great, you were loved, you were sober, and now... you're just a broken and sad sight. Adios, and thanks for the lesson. To the match made in hell: what misconstrued love you have!


The author's comments:

Pent up rage over a very sad and aggressive situation. Interesting read though.


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