H.A.T.E.(has anyone taken everything) | Teen Ink

H.A.T.E.(has anyone taken everything)

September 22, 2011
By Brilyn, bonner springs, Kansas
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Brilyn, Bonner Springs, Kansas
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Author's note: I was abused as a young girl so i just set it in future tense of what would have happened if i was older.

June 19, 2009 1:17a.m.
I just woke up, can’t sleep. I think that I will go walk around the house. I wanted something to do since I couldn’t sleep. I looked out my window and to my surprise there was a girl on the corner in a tattered black dress, all bruised up. She looked like she hadn’t eaten in days. I basically studied her to figure out what kind of girl she was. All I wanted to know was if she was going to be okay. It may be summer, but it still cools down an awful lot over night. If I am correct, I believe that she is hiding from someone. She is not looking for anyone, and not to be rude, but it looks like she doesn’t belong here. If she did, I would think that her attitude would be a whole lot different.
She turned around and our eyes meet. It was slowly, but surely did she give me a smile that lit up this whole world.
I want to meet this girl right now.
I ran down the stairs and out the front door, but when I got there she was gone. How could she have gotten away that fast I don’t understand?
2:33a.m.
I’m still awake and can’t stop thinking about this girl, so I wrote her a little note.

“Hi my name is Rowen I wanted to let you know that I saw you and I would really enjoy if I could meet you. I hope things are all okay. Please write back I will keep it a secret you were over here.”

All I know is that I hope she finds this letter that I wrote her because if she doesn’t I might never know the girl I am in love with.
What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?
Well I want to talk to her and I hope things go okay. If they all go okay and she writes back to this letter, then I will know her name. I will know who this stunning girl is.
I crept down the stairs and out the door to go deliver the letter that I had written. When I got there, I saw a shadowy figure standing in the dark all alone.
I was just afraid to confront her.
She was a beautiful person. I didn’t care how beaten up she was. Although I had a girlfriend and don’t get me wrong, I love my girlfriend, but I feel like I love this girl way more. She had hair that was as red as a rose on a summers day and eyes as blue as the sky on a winters day.
What more could I have asked for?
She is and always will be the perfect girl.
I sat the note down by the mail boxes and went back into my house.
It was now 3:46 a.m. My dad would be waking up soon, so I acted like I was asleep. Four minutes later... Beep…Beep… Beep. It was my dad’s alarm clock going off. I looked out the window once more to see if the note was gone.
I mean, I think she took it.
I hope she took it.
I want her to know who I am. I really don’t know this girl, but I have so many feelings for her. I need to know who she is.
My dad just walked into my room and I had to act like I was asleep. I hope he didn’t realize I was actually awake. Even if he did notice, he wouldn’t say anything. I was still thinking about her non-stop. What was I going to do?
4:55a.m. been thinking about her non-stop since I noticed that letter was gone. I hope she got it and read it. I hope she replies to it most importantly. I have to get up for work at six and I haven’t even slept a little since I think somewhere around two.

June 20, 2009 8:48 a.m. it’s the next day and well I still absolutely am think about this girl if only… I mean what if I… was in love with her? All I wanted was for her to be happy with me. I mean she looked so unhappy and devastated that she was unable to handle the real thing that was actually going on. I love that fact that all I have to do is sit here and talk to her I mean you. Sorry I can’t stop thinking about her with her hair as red as a rose and a smile that could be seen a million miles away. I picked up my cell phone off the side table and only shortly realized that I had a text message from my girlfriend. Yeah I guess I forgot to mention I have a girlfriend. She’s great and all I just can’t handle it. Her name is Laney Drake and she is sixteen years old. So when I saw that text message.
Laney: I love you Rowen!!!
Me: We need to talk…
Laney: About what?
Me: Just meet me at the park…
Laney: I can’t.
Me: Whatever then I will tell you right now.
Laney: What is it Hun?
Me: Well, I met this girl...
Laney: Did you cheat on me?
Me: No why would you say that?
Laney: Because someone said that you did.
Me: Well I didn’t believe me... I just wanted to say that I met this girl, she was outside my house and well she looked at me and smiled. I am going to talk to her tonight.
Laney: Are you breaking up with me?
Me: I guess I am Laney don’t get me wrong I love you and everything I just don’t love you like that.
That was the end of Laney and I conversation. She messaged me back only about an hour later.
Laney: Change on facebook that you’re in a relationship because you’re not anymore. Give me the stuff I gave you and oh by the way I cheated on you…
I never replied back to her message, but I did get on facebook and change my relationship status. What the hell? What was Laney thinking she cheated on me?!? Man I am so pissed off right now all I want to do is yell and be angry, but I am not going to do that because my mother would have never wanted me to be this mad all the time night and day over some girl. Obviously she’s a b**** and she doesn’t know what she actually has until she looses it. I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t obviously I am angry as all get out. I think I just need to calm myself so I will go on a run.
10:10a.m.
on my run now and I can’t stop thinking about this girl on the corner really I wanted to know her name and I wanted to no everything there is to know about her. I am over by the trailer park now. It’s always noisy over here you can’t ever seem to get anything right over here. I wish I could see her right now I mean that would be a great thing. Then there she was right there in that trailer. She was crying then she walked out the door and went to the park across the street I went there too. I sat right down next to her and asked her what her name was she said “Scarlett.”

So I sat with Scarlett the love of my life for over two hours talking and getting to know each other. In the middle of our conversation she pulled a note out of her pocket and said “Is this from you?” I then said “Yes it is I wanted to make sure you knew I saw you.” All that I was thinking at this time was that I was indeed in love with her. She was making me smile like no other with a smile that was perfect. She was beautiful as a girl like her could be. Over the two hours that we were talking she told me about her dad and why he was beating her. All she kept saying was I deserved every time he hits me. It’s all my fault I can’t buy myself new stuff. I hated that coming out of her mouth because she would get in low spirits and then she would hardly talk after that. I mean if it was me I know I would fight that man right back after what my mother did before she passed away how she cheated on my father with the neighbor. My mother was a disgrace to our family at that point in time.
12:24p.m.
Scarlett and I were finishing up our conversation when I asked her if she wanted to come over for lunch she looked like she hadn’t eaten in days. If it was up to me I would make sure that she had enough food and water. She only looked at me like I was crazy I told her that it would be fine my mother wouldn’t have a problem with it at all. My mother told me through a text that was fine and at we would give Scarlett new clothes and stuff to wear, but she wouldn’t take it. She didn’t think that it was right at all I mean if you ever thought about it I am doing something right and not wrong. I realized why she wouldn’t take the clothes or shoes that we were trying to give her. Scarlett’s father would be extremely pissed off. If anything I love this girl I am sure that I have mentioned this a couple times. She has a voice like an angel, she is beautiful and amazing, and I can’t ever take my eyes off her.
1:20p.m.
Scarlett and I return no noises in the house and well quit frankly that was normal. Mom would be getting home any minute now with some lunch. Then I would sit down with Scarlett and my mother and talk with them. I wanted to save Scarlett even if she didn’t want me too. Always I remember when I was talking to Scarlett. She sang to me a song of sadness. If someone other then I would have heard that we would have had a problem. I am going to be with her for the rest of my life. God sent her hear as my angel to save and protect. I am like her hero. I may not be able to kiss away the pain or make it better, but I will get her away from that horrible man. I want this man to feel what she is feeling. Alone and abandoned, she is scared and misunderstood. What was so wrong with that her being scared is affecting any chance of her and I relationship? I just wanted everything to end up so right she is so young and beautifully breathe taking.

My name is Scarlett I am only trying to stay strong throughout this journey on life. My dad beats me and doesn’t even care that he has gone way too far with it. I remember that I was five minutes late from coming home from the grocery store and he grabbed my hair and drug me to the back of the trailer where his room what and he locked me in there everyday so I couldn’t go to school and make friends. I hid in a corner of that room everyday of my life. It scared me to be alone and my mother didn’t do a thing because she was way to out of it from the drugs he doped my mother up with.

The more I learned to be tough the better I would be off. I went to a neighborhood that was rich and I would imagine what life would be like if it was just my mom and I in one of these houses. One house caught my eye in particular. It was on the corner of 132nd and Lansing. It was white with a red door and when I looked up at the window to my surprise I saw a young boy about my age. When I turned around to look the other way, he made me think that the cops were about to be involved. So I ran and when I thought it was clear I came back hoping the police weren’t there.

I found a letter though when I got back it said “my name is Rowen I wanted to let you know that I saw you and I would really enjoy if I could meet you. I hope things are all okay. Please write back I will keep it a secret you were over here.”

I didn’t have time to write back though it was to late for that it was already four my dad would be waking up soon so I ran the five miles to my house and got there just in time right before he woke up for work. My dad woke up got out of bed then came into my room and kicked me till I was on the floor begging for mercy that he please not kill me. He yelled “You ungrateful little b****, leave in the middle of the night how dare you.” Once again he yelled “You will never see sunlight again, I promise.”

Times more then others did I think that these things were all so crazy? Until I met Rowen then things got better then ever. I finally got away from my dad. Rowen and fell madly in love and we lived happily ever after almost. Until my dad was released from prison six years after he had been put in there the court decided he had good behavior.



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