Infestation | Teen Ink

Infestation

August 15, 2011
By Xenodragon56 BRONZE, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Colorado
Xenodragon56 BRONZE, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
I see some walls... and some ceilings... WAIT!!! Just ONE ceiling...
~Caboose, Red vs Blue


Summary:

The Sprawl: 2510. Neighbor has been turned against neighbor, friends turned to foes. Energy prices spike in a matter of hours, chaos rules the streets. To top it all of, THEY are coming.
They are the Necromorphs. Re-animated corpses, designed and bred to kill and spread the infestation. And kill they shall.


Xenodragon56

Infestation


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This book has 4 comments.


GGttall said...
on Aug. 17 2015 at 11:19 pm
overall this book was well done, but you should add a little more character development. For example, when he started to fall for her I said 'What?' because the main character didn't show complete and udder love for her. So just work on that

Killermanta said...
on Nov. 4 2013 at 10:43 pm
Killermanta, San Diego, California
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I'm loving this book from the violence and details to the plot.  This book is amazing  

Wolvesrule said...
on Sep. 7 2011 at 6:54 pm
This is awesome, I love your descriptions and the violence of it. This book definetly puts mine to shame, lol

on Aug. 18 2011 at 11:04 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

I'm not very familiar with the original work, so I can't give you a full criticism on the details.  But I have some criticisms about your style.

1.  Your grammar undermines your writing.  Please work on your grammar a bit more.

2.  Maybe you could have a bit more background information.  I know it would make more sense if I'd read the original work, but you need to write fanfiction that outsiders can understand too.

3.  Maybe you could have a bit more description in general.  Just a bit more, though.