One day, stuck in the massive black hole of YouTube, I happened upon a video about spearfishing. Spearfishing enveloped my thoughts for weeks; finally, I decided to research and buy the gear with my buddy. Waiting for all my gear was an exhausting punishment. Every day I came home to an empty mailbox. Finally after two weeks I saw the box on the porch, and I sprinted to it, I was ecstatic.

As soon as we could go, we made the trip to Alki. My first dive was on a set of pilings by the water taxi at Alki. My friend and I swam out and clung to a piling. I slowed my heart by being clam, took in a huge breath, and dove. It was a murky day, so I had about five feet of visibility. At about 15 feet I couldn’t see anything, but I kept descending. Then at around 25 feet, the murk broke into a massive explosion of color. The crisp whites and vibrant oranges of anemones filled my vision. An endless field of green kelp stretched along the bottom; I clung to the pole, suspended, taking in the beauty for what felt like an eternity. When I finally came up, I gulped in fresh air and screamed. It was an experience I will never forget.

The sports of freediving and spearfishing are my challenges. I choose to put myself out there, fighting hypothermia, risking an encounter with seals and the occasional shark. I risk it, because it makes me happy to be out there. It makes me feel like I am part of something. I search doggedly for that color and vibrancy every time I go out.

Last spring I sought that color once again in Mexico; It was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. On the first day we dove at a drop-off by a cliff, and what the guide didn’t tell us before we hopped in, was something shocking. We slipped into the water and we were surrounded by a massive school of Jacks, literally hundreds of them. I dove beneath them and looked up, it was something out of National Geographic. A swirling mess of fish that left a hole to the sun above, illuminating me like a spotlight.

Freediving has stuck with me, and I enjoy the amazing sights and experiences that it brings to me, leading me to new places across the world. I get to see the oceans of the world and happen upon some spectacular moments. I have had the opportunity to see things that other people barely get the opportunity to witness. I’ve seen massive congregations of fish breeding, deep sea jellies pulsing with vibrant colors that have been carried up to the surface by the current. My favorite are manta rays that have wingspans over 7 feet long. I immerse myself in the water because I get to experience so many beautiful things.

I chose to escape. Being human is like pushing through the cloudy water on my first dive. If I didn’t push farther I would have never seen the beauty underneath. If we don’t put ourselves in situations that are dangerous or uncomfortable, how are we challenging ourselves? We can always stick with what we know, stay in the giant glass tank, safe, sound, and fed on a regular schedule – or, we could explore the outside world. I wanted freedom, and that’s what a lot of people are searching for today, we just have to wade through the murk for a little longer.