Are You Okay? | Teen Ink

Are You Okay?

June 26, 2015
By Anonymous

"Are you okay?"
Where do i begin?  Well easy things first: Jane Doe, 16, aries (if anyone cares), latina.  Any siblings you may ask?  Yes.
   I'm 16 and already have to  really start thinking about myself.  It's like when you were under your parents watch when you were younger will no longer fend you against the world.
  I have two parents: Mami and Papi.  They're loving and all, but at times I ask myself where did I come from?  My mom is amazing (at times).  She's kind, smart, generous, and beautiful inside.  My dad is hardworking, too generous, inspiring, and just a whirlwind of other subjects.  But at the same time, both have their flaws. 
They very much keep things to themselves a lot and argue much on why they do just that.  It makes me fear the idea of a relationship with someone and the whole couple status.  It's just that I've seen the beauty of marriage but most of all the idea of love and I ask myself where does it all go when it gets ugly?
  My parents still live together, but they fake the love since when they aren't around one another, they speak garbage about the other.  The funny thing is that each one has no clue of this.  Talk about a fake reality.
With my parents come other beings in my life: siblings.  I have four sisters and one brother, but if you want to be scientific and biological, then two biological and three half siblings. 
Before my parents even met, they had lives of their own, separate from each other.
My mother was married to a man who would hit her.  I guess that's where her fear of trust and honesty comes from.  She had a daughter named Pen (let's use fake names since I can).  They rarely talk anymore and I don't speak to her either. 
I remember being so close to her and suddenly just one day she stops making contact with me.  Treating me like I was a brick wall.  It's strange how things can utterly change. 
My father was married to a woman who loved money and that IS what drove him to always strive for MORE!  They had a daughter, Bottle, and a son, Scrunch.  I only met them a couple times and you could tell the awkwardness of it.  I would feel the same too if my dad were to leave the country to make money and show up 15 years later with a new wife and children.  I COMPLETELY get it.
Then come my "real" sisters, Cap and Rubber.  They're great but to be honest, it's very obvious at times I really feel like I belong to another family.
I'm like a person wearing the red dress and at the black and white ball (all the time).  But I've gotten used to the outcast status here.  Not much of a difference honestly If I think about life at home and life at school.  Only few people actually get me and I can honestly count them all with one hand.
I guess everyone enjoys the shiny toys in the middle of the room, and I stick to the broken ones all alone in the corner.  But it's fine since that's all I've ever gotten.  It's just my life and I'm not gonna share this out loud since no one really wants to hear all my thoughts at the moment.  So to answer your question:
"Yeah, I'm fine....."


The author's comments:

I'm tired of being fine.


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