Sometimes I feel like none of this is real. Like this is all just some dream, some video game that I've been trapped in. I simply stop in my tracks and look around, everything coming to me at once. How is any of this possible? How can life actually exist? I can't even begin to comprehend any of those thoughts.

This episode that I seem to have doesn't last for a while. To get out of it I usually just explore all of my five senses. I feel the cheap clothes on my skin, my tangled hair that I never can seem to tame. I smell the air, welcoming all sorts of scents, pleasant and not-so-pleasant aromas. I taste the flavor of the spearmint gum I'm most likely chewing. I close my eyes and chew on it until I can taste the flavor disappearing. I hear the unimportant chatter around me, the laughs of strangers I'll never get to know. I see the world for as it is. Gray.

In the end, I guess it doesn't really matter. Either way, I'm stuck with this life. I can't be someone else. I can't change who I am. No matter how many beautiful worlds and characters I create and write about, this is the real world, the world that I will be on until I die. After that, I don't know what will happen.

This is life.

I might as well live.