I’ve struggled with gender identification. No matter what, I always associate with guys. In RPGS, Sims, or whatever game where I’m supposed to create me, it’s always a guy. My mom struggles to understand why I would choose being a guy versus a girl in games; at the LEGO store I built a guy character and she went “well, why not build a girl LEGO?” My mom always questioned me, wanting a clear cut answer, but I never could explain it. It just didn’t feel like me. And this wasn’t just a I’m-a-selfish-brat-who-wants-attention move either-I honestly associate with guys over girls.
Associating with guys has actually hindered my friendship with friends. I still talk to them, but no longer can I go over to their house, because their parents fear me and my guy association. It’s humiliating, but I’ve learned that only through my self explanation can I figure out why I associate with guys; the remarks of me being gay, sexist, and others have only made me stronger. And maybe I am those things, but what does it matter? We’re all different, and I’m ok with associating with guys