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Lead Me Not Into Temptation....

warriorwritergirl77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Nov. 16, 2016 at 7:51 pm

So...once upon a time a shy, sweet Christian girl who has lived her 18 years in a bubble goes to college. Things are going well. She has made some friends, found a Christian buddy, and classes are great. It is a nice school though the girl is completely surrounded by - GIRLS! ALL GIRLS! But that is okay, because her mom didn't want her to be distracted. Though she still gets distracted by the somewhat attractive guys from the connected colleges who pop up on campus. And last week, this girl went to her first party after being heavily persuaded by friends. It was....interesting. Let's just say that sweet sheltering bubble was shattered by blasting music, tight-knit bodies, and really bad smells. And at one point, everywhere she looked, people were making out, she and her friends soon left after the levels of discomfort broke the barometer.
 
So, the whole point of this exaggerated story is to say - help! The last thing I want to do is go to college and throw away my morals though I have been finding it really hard to silence the devil on my shoulder. The lonely flesh craves the attention and dudes but the spirit is like "oh no you don't" and I'm not a party person but I have so much dance energy that I have to get out besides alone in my room like an idiot and I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for or expect but gosh, how does one find the balance to have fun but not teeter on the dangerous line where stupid things can happen....(wishing she was back in kindergarten playing with blocks...). If no advice, can anyone relate???

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CNBono17 replied...
Nov. 16, 2016 at 9:36 pm

I get your struggle, buddy! More than you know; my college is co-ed. My suggestion: find people you know won't try that stuff. I have been to a grand total of one college party, and it was incredible: a bunch of band nerds watching the one away game we didn't all go to, eating junk food, doing our dance every time we scored. No alc.ohol, no discomfort of that nature. 
 
I realize this may not be totally relevant, but the point is: it is VERY possible to have a social life without going to those kind of parties! I have yet to be put in that exact situation, so no advice, but hang in there!

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Nov. 17, 2016 at 1:05 am

Thanks girl. That is why I am so thankful for my Christian buddy, I realized I was pretty hasty in aligning myself with my other friends who coerced me to the party and maybe I should reduce the amount of time I hang out with them. My other friend, her idea of fun is knitting club and the neighbor college's NerdHouse - two things I fell in love with that don't involve anything crazy! But I still have those other friends who are seeking the more social/party, late night outing type of life, so hard to slowly slice away from people or maybe I should talk to them...so bad at both....

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CNBono17 replied...
Nov. 17, 2016 at 9:09 am

I have those friends as well...that sounds like a good idea, to not associate with them as much. I have a few friends here who are also writers ((YEEEEEE!!!)) and one in particular, every time we talk longer than the 5-minute surface talk about school stuff, it goes to either writing or some nerdy movie. Granted he writes more poetry and I write more fiction, but he (like a lot of other friends) finds himself in one particular thing I'm writing...
 
Also it's nice to have responsible older friends. I got incredibly lucky in the clarinet section that the upperclassmen I'm close to are responsible. One in particular gave me a ride back from that band party--the only one there of age, and he didn't drink. 

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Nov. 17, 2016 at 3:59 pm

My Christian nerdy buddy is also a writer! And in my writing class. She's upperclassmen too and a good influence.

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CNBono17 replied...
Nov. 17, 2016 at 4:10 pm

Even better!!! (I have never met your friend but I love her :P )

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Nov. 22, 2016 at 11:02 am

I didn't realize in the beginning of the year when I established this friendship with the two girls I met that our lifestyles were so different. I went home for two weekends, missed two parties and my one friend all of sudden has still fast moving relationship with a guy she just met. In their second meeting at a party they have made out, that grinding body dance, and she was surprised at my reaction. She wanted me to be jumping for joy at her boy victory but I told her that if this guy that she just met on their second encounter already had his tongue down ur throat and his body grinding yours, dont't you think this is moving fast, and don't u think there is something else he wants, and she was a little upset at how I responded.
I feel bad cuz this friendship is making me uncomfortable if this is what they want. But how do I end this friendship gently or at least distance myself without causing hard feelings...?

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CNBono17 replied...
Nov. 22, 2016 at 12:41 pm

oh, wow...I'd sit her down and have the "this is BAD" conversation first, and if she responds badly tell her you're worried for her. As for ending a friendship or distancing yourself...I don't have all that much experience in that...

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CallMeAria replied...
Apr. 16 at 11:08 pm

This was me before I entered university. Now, I'm here to genuinely tell you you have nothing to worry about. College isn't going to cause you to change that much. YOU get to choose in college how you live your life. I decided I wanted to take some risks and live a little, since I've been raised very sheltered and I'm an anxious person. I'm so glad I did, and I still have an above average GPA and go to mass and I'm not pre.gnant or a sub.stance abuser. If you aren't interested in parties, find people who don't party. You can do other things you enjoy. The amazing part about college is you get to choose. No one is going to force you. If a friendship is making you uncomfortable, it's easy to cut it off in college, but I'd suggest NOT judging people so quickly, unless you would want to be judged the same way :) everyone makes life choices and takes their own path, there's no right or wrong. 

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