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Rain girl--honest opinions would be amazing!

NimWallaceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Nov. 1 at 11:14 am

I hade to type this up for a class, and I can't decide if I love it, hate it, or never wanna look at it again. 

 Feedback would really help me decide: 
 
Rain Girl: an Inconclusive Theory of My Unrelenting Passion
Let all ends meet one another, from the rainy days came a string of sunny ones.



I am the fraud, with deceit in every smile and white lies inside my pen.



The poet and the master is the weakest in bunch, he is renowned among kings and emperors, worthless to the poor.
The poet does not work with his hands but with his mind, he is a storyteller who lies for a living.

I am the liar, I am the poet.
Tell tales of days when gods played with puppets and heroes became kings. Tell your fanciful lies with your aristocratic air and your pretentious manner.
I will give you truth, I am weak.
I am the poet without words, the musician without an instrument, the artist without paint.
But I am who I am—for in the end we are all the same, ravens pretending to be doves, peasants with crowns, lions without teeth.
But I will remain in my truth, no matter what I say or how I gloat.



This is my piece, my life, my testimony—I am the one who stands in the rain without an umbrella, because they said the sun would shine.
I am an outsider with far too much pride, bitterness, and anger.
But I am honest.
And I will not relent. 

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lasombraThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 2 at 7:17 pm

well, it definetly has a good vibe and a good topic. I would disagree with you on some parts but thats personal opinion. I did enjoy it though it took me a while to get the message in it.

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NimWallaceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 3 at 2:42 pm

Thanks for your feedback! Was there a specfic part you didn't understand?

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lasombraThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 3 at 4:29 pm

I didnt understand what it had to do with a girl in the rain. 

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NimWallaceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 4 at 2:33 pm

Ooooh. That was a reference to "I am the one who stands in the rain without an umbrella" but I see now it's not completely clear. I'll work on incorporating that better. 

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DiWinge replied...
Nov. 22 at 10:14 am

I would revise the line "The poet and the master is the weakest in bunch, he is renowned among kings and emperors, worthless to the poor." I don't understand a clear meaning from that line. Other than that, your poem is amazing!

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NimWallaceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 22 at 2:57 pm

Thanks!! :)

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