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LifeLeaderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Oct. 28 at 9:03 pm

Those fleeting memories
kira kira
like galaxies
on my palms
fireflies in my veins
luminescence remains and
kira kira
won’t leave me yet.
They move with a velocity
end up in the same place
orbiting through laughs and tears
reflecting recollections on craters
that trading of light
sand to snow-white
one two one two
forever hopscotching

Did you know that light comes from laughter?
Did you know that laughter starts with a smile?
Do you know who first showed a smile?
The kajol sky
the watermelon-sliced moon.
Where do my memories go to
if I can’t remember them anymore?
Will they glow throughout my plasma?
One day making earth fox-fur colored.

I have since mapped the length of my skin
in calico constellations
leukocytes iridescent.
I am a patchwork of my past.
How could I frown
looking back now?

Am I crescent-faced?
Can I happily migrate?
My shell will be its own “grave of fireflies”
returning rays back to its birthplace.
I am crescent-faced

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kenderle replied...
Oct. 31 at 8:34 am

Hello LifeLeader. To begin, I love your images like “fireflies in my veins” and “the watermelon-sliced moon”. I also like how you ask questions throughout the poem. It keeps me interested and focused. However, I would add more punctuation throughout the poem, for example, after “The kajol sky” there should maybe be a comma. “Kajol” was used in your poem. Did you mean to reference the Indian actress or did you spell cajole wrong? Thank you again.

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