Falling Apart | Forums | Teen Ink

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abbybeast1902 posted this thread...
on May. 2 at 5:47 am

Have you ever felt like the world was coming to an end like everything was going wrong. And you know what, it hurts so much you just want it to end. Just when you thought you had it all you realize that you really don't. If anything you are far from having anything at all. Your world is falling apart right before your own eyes.

It's like you are begging for air, you are about to drown and no one but you can hear you scream. You are finished.
You can't really point what the matter is but deep down you know it is bigger than you, you know as much as you try to hide it, it is winning , it is defeating you and there is nothing you can do but watch yourself drown. It is all too late to get help, your world is falling apart, you are slowly coming to the end.



abbybeast1902, Harare, Other
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Alec-dianna, Justin, Texas
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Alec-dianna replied...
on May. 5 at 5:34 am
@abbybeast1902 I love the piece it got your point across and I can tell how you feel about it ,however the end was a bit weak and lacked the feeling that the rest had it was more straight forward and to the point (not that anything is wrong with that . What if At the end if instead of saying "your world is falling apart , you are slowly coming to the end." You said you feel the world is falling apart and you can't stop yourself from falling apart to, you are slowly coming to an end . Just my opinion it is still strong without it though .