Nerd is the Word - Dallas

February 28, 2016

(The next day…. In Dallas, Texas.)

 

(The nerds in co. are driving in their new car courtesy of Master Gulio. Lewis has the wheel, Evan’s in the passenger seat while Dylan, Ryan, Christian, and Khalil are crammed in the back.)

 

Khalil: We really need some fresh air!

 

Lewis: *look at gas tank level* And gas, too.

 

(They drive into a 7-Eleven. Lewis gets gas while everyone else gets snacks and food. Evan and Dylan gets in conversation while getting Slurpees.)

 

Dylan: We NEED a new RV. There’s no way we can all sleep in that tiny-a** car!

 

Evan: Agreed. Plus, hotels in Texas are NOT as good as some think.

 

Dylan: But where can we get one that’s for free?

 

(They all exit the store, by Dylan notices something.)

 

Dylan: Hey, Look!

 

(Evan, Ryan, Dylan, Christian, Lewis, and Khalil approach a flyer.)

 

Ryan: 15th annual Killing Blow Fighting Tournament. Dishing out the pain since 1995. This year’s Grand Prize...an RV! Part of the 30th Dallas Beer Slingers Convention!

 

Evan: And additional prize……$1,000,000 dollars! Hey! Any of you know how to fight?

 

Dylan: I have a Swiss Army knife, but that’s about all….

 

Evan: Well, I got a solution..

 

(Evan pulls out his cell phone and calls a buddy he knows in Texas.)

 

Evan: ANTHONY! Hey buddy, how’s it going? Yeah. Do you remember that favor you owe me? Okay, well I got a question: Are arm implants in your medical degree?

 

(We cut to a surgery waiting room in a hospital. Dylan, Ryan, Lewis, Christian, and Khalil and waiting for Evan, presumably for a long time.)

 

Dylan: He’s taking forever!!!!

 

(Suddenly, Evan bursts through the door.)

 

Evan: I’M BACK!!!!!!

 

Dylan: Guys, I got a feeling we’re gonna win this..

 

(Anthony comes by.)

 

Anthony: Indeed. His arms has now been upgraded by the cryomancers 500s. Ice blasters that project cold energy and capable of freezing, creating ice objects, and sliding.

 

Evan: I’m like Sub-freaking-Zero! I thank you dearly, Anthony!

 

Anthony: No, thank YOU! Your advice finally got me a girlfriend. *she comes by* And she’s pretty, too.

 

Girlfriend: Remember that “operation” you promised?

 

Anthony: You dang right, I do!

 

(The two slowly walk off and Anthony slowly closes the doors.)

 

Evan: Ah…. young love…

 

Dylan: To the tournament!

 

(Limp Bizkit’s “Gimme The Mic” starts playing as we cut to the tournament scene and showcases crowds, areas, snack bars, attractions (like a girl getting a tattoo where the sun doesn’t shine), and other stuff. After 20 seconds of footage, we come to the signup area where Evan is seen.)

 

Evan: Yo, is this where I sign up?

 

Signer: Yes, you sign here, here, and here about name, location, abilities, and your ring name.

 

Evan: Ring name?

 

Signer: Yeah, all the wrestlers in federations have ring name.

 

(Evan looks around for ideas, and sees a man reading the Theory of Evolution by Charles Darwin and sees a slushee machine with the world “chill” on it. Giving him an idea. He signs the sheet and checks off the “Killing Blow is not responsible for any losses of lives during tournament.” The signer gives him a key to a break room and tells him where to go.)

 

Evan: Alright, it’s official, I have a one-to-whatever chance of winning.

 

(We cut into Evan’s room where he is practicing his fighting style in Cluck Fu, a hybird martial art featuring the likes of many fighting styles, mostly Kung Fu and Wing Chun. Then Dylan, Ryan, Christian, Lewis and Khalil enter his room.)

 

Ryan: Dude, it’s crazy out there!

 

Christian: Dude, I should enter the tournament! I’ve never even seen you fight anyone!

 

Evan: I take self-defense classes on the computer. I think I know what I’m doing!

 

Dylan: Alright, enough. If you’re gonna win. we need to talk strategy. Evan, do you know who your fighting first?

 

Evan: I don’t know. But there is a total of 64 combatants on the tournament.

 

Ryan: That’s about 63 more than expected.

 

(Before anyone could say something. A tournament official enters the room with a clipboard in his hand.)

 

Official: Excuse me, Mr. Chill. The tournament is about to start and we need your entrance song. It’s for you entering the ring.

 

Evan: M’kay.

 

(The official gives the board to Evan and he writes down a song. After that, he and the official shake hands.)

 

Official: Okay, you're going to be in the 2nd division, your selected division. Alight, good luck!

 

(The official leaves, and an announcer is heard calling the first fight.)

 

Khalil: Okay, maybe you should stay and talk planning. I’m gonna watch this fight! I placed money on it!

 

Lewis: Hey! Wait for me!

 

(As Khalil and Lewis leave, Christian follows. Leaving only Dylan, Ryan, and Evan standing there.)

 

Dylan: Be careful, Evan, if someone from the mafia manages to find us, they’ll undoubtedly got more tricks up their sleeve.

 

(An “oooh!” sound is heard from the audience as we hears “WINNER BY KILLING BLOW! MARK FISTS”)

 

Evan: Uh-oh, so that paper was serious about “loss of lives”...

 

(Christian comes in with tournament papers telling who’s-up-against who.)

 

Christian: Looks like you’re up next, against….Clara Neon. Whoever she is…

 

Ryan: Enough talk. I wanna see a fight or two.

 

Evan: Ryan’s right.

 

Dylan: But wait, do you have a weapon?

 

Evan: Well I can conjure swords and hammers with my icy powers, but they don't least to long once used, though.

 

Dylan: Okay, well here.

 

(Dylan gives Evan his Swiss Army knife.)

 

Evan: Thanks, it could help. I also have the power of Mick Chicken!

 

(Evan holds his hand in the air and his rubber chicken strangely gets tossed to him. As that happened, officials enter the room.)

 

Official: Mr. Darwin Chill, you’re up. Follow us…

 

Dylan: Darwin Chill?

 

Evan: That’s my ring name! You like it?

 

Dylan: I….wha..?

 

(Evan, Ryan, and Dylan follow the officials to the back of the ring, where Evan faces the tunnel to the entrance, and dim line with several mirrors. He stops and stares at himself.)

 

Evan: You can do this!

 

Ryan: Don’t go dying on us!

 

(Some officials stop Ryan and Dylan and let Evan go off.)

 

Official: Sorry, visitors stop here. You’re gonna have to watch this from the crowd!

 

Dylan: But can we at least sit close so we can give him so pep talk?

 

Official: *shrugs* Eh, why not? How does front row sound?

 

Ryan: Great!

 

(Scene shows Dylan, Ryan, Christian, Lewis, and Khalil watching the area behind a drunk and crazy crowd. A Referee stands in the middle of the area. He is wearing a casual referee shirt with black and white stripes, black pants, and dress shoes. He has a shaved head, gray beard growing from his nose and chin, but shaved sides, and arms covered in tattoos.)

 

Referee (Voiced by Scott Ian): Ladies and gentlemen. Before we start division two of the tournament, let’s give one more round of applause to division one and I want all the energy you got cause God knows how he managed to be this badass, let’s hear it for the one and only: GREASED LIGHTNING!!!

 

(A round of applause is heard for the fighter.)

 

Referee: And now… the start of division two of the tournament will start now!

 

(Crowd cheers, then the lights showcases multiple colors and Icon for Hire’s "Make A Move" starts playing.)


Referee: Introducing first! From Sunrise, Florida. Give a welcome to…. CLARA NEON!

 

(As the song’s chorus starts up, Clara walks into the arena. She shows to have milky white skin and short dyed blue hair. Her left eye burns with a bright blue flame. She wears a pair of knee high black boots, a black bikini top, black short shorts with a light gray belt, and a black hooded jacket with a long back with a white star on the back. She carries two weapons, a laser cannon and a crooked katana.)

 

Referee: And her challenger…..

 

(The lights turn blue as Vanilla Ice’s "The Wrath" starts playing.)

 

Referee: Hailing from Suffolk, Virginia. Please welcome…...DARWIN CHILL

 

(Evan enters the area. He shows to have a chinese-themed clothing with teal baggy pants and a Rey Mysterio mask, presumably as a joke.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): Yeah! Woo!
 

(As he makes his walk to the area, when the gunshots in the song comes up, he turns around and pretends to shoot some people, and fans play along by pretending to get shot. He strangly takes out a glass of ice with shrimp (presumably as a last-minute energy snack)  he’s been saving, laughs, and approaches Clara.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): So, you must be Clara! *offers shrimp* Wanna bite?

 

Clara (Voiced by Cristina Vee): No thanks, nnd I’m going to tell you now, I REALLY… don’t approve of your ways… *gives a disgusted look as she sees the shrimp*

 

Evan (as Darwin): Why? You vegan?

 

Clara: Wha..? No, you joking behavior. Plus, I know your name isn’t “Darwin.” I seen you on the news, you killed that guy’s son! I bet your cronies are here somewhere!

 

Evan (as Darwin): *takes off mask* I dunno who you talking about little lady. But I DO know I’m gonna enjoy swimming in that money in my new RV!

 

Clara: Oh please, the RV would be nice, but if I win, I’m donating that money to the Animal Rights program!

 

Evan: Hmmmm……

 

Clara: I-uh. I’m not vegan because I HAVE to be...It’s...It’s a life choice!

 

Referee: Alright! I want a good fight and no monkey business. I wanna keep this clean! Now I’m backing away cause I know this is gonna get ugly!

 

(The referee shots his gun in the air, starting the match. Evan puts his hands up.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): We shall do this like a stand-off, back away until one strikes!

 

Clara: Fine!

 

(The two turn away and walk, Evan and creates and ice ball to freeze Clara. But she hears this and shoots the ice ball before it hits her.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): Uh-Oh..

 

(Evan rushes towards Clara and she shoots on, and a fist fight occurs. Clara kicks him away and he conjures a hammer made of ice and bashes her around with it. Dylan, Ryan, Christian, Lewis, and Khalil cheer.)

 

Dylan: GET HER EVAN!

 

Lewis: NO PRESSURE!

 

(Evan continues this until Clara gets out her curved katan and cuts the ice hammer.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): Shoot. Good thing I have THESE!

 

(Evan constructs daggers made of ice and throws them at Clara, who takes the pain.)

 

Clara: AH! OH! D*MMIT!

 

(Clara then gets her katana and swings it at Evan. He deflects it and crafts a giant icicle and rams it onto Clara. Who slices through it and soon takes revenge on Evan.)

 

Clara: Hope you can create graves, cause you might need one!

 

Evan (as Darwin): Well I’m working on it, MIGHT take me a day or two, but-

 

Clara: I was being sarcastic!

 

(Clara tries to impale Evan, but he forms a giant ball of hail above his opponent and lets it drop down onto Clara. He then punches her twice and shoots a cold beam of ice towards her, freezing her in place.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): Hahahaha. All too easy!

 

(A neon energy shot comes from Clara’s frozen body and hits Evan, and Clara breaks out the ice with her gun aimed at Evan.)

 

Clara: That wasn’t cool, dude!

 

(Clara rapidly shoots Evan and then performs a series of kicks to the head, even one goes in slow motion and shows an x-ray of Evan’s skull getting cracked. Although Evan manages to get a free shot of her and zips her with an icicle-covered foot to kick her But misses and she only gets angrier and shoots him in the head, sending him flying backwards. Dylan, Ryan, Lewis, Christian, and Khalil soon starts to get worried.)

 

Ryan: I got a bad feeling about this…

 

(Clara walks towards Evan with the canon and katana in her hand.)

 

Clara: You had NO idea who you were dealing with. Now I’m sending your black soul to hell!

 

Evan (as Darwin): Last I checked, I’m white.

 

(Clara just glares at him and attempts to decapitate him. But he surprises her with a sharp kick towards her stomach. Evan fuses his fists and in ice and says…)

 

Evan (as Darwin): TIME TO FREEZE, B!TCH!

 

(Evan does a series of punches and then kicks Clara two times, with the second being a roundhouse kick. Evan does a flip kick that disarms Clara of her katana and canon. He then conjures up a huge ball and fires it at Clara. Slowly freezing her from legs-midbody area-to head, leaving her frozen with a surprised look on her face. He then walks up to her frozen body, makes an ice hammer and bashes it on her head. Shattering it and other ice crystals on her body. Leaving on her headless frozen body standing. The bell is heard ringing three dinging sounds. Vanilla Ice’s "The Wrath" plays as the crowd cheers and the referee walks over to Evan.)

 

Referee: Here’s your winner by Killing Blow! DARWIN CHILL!

 

(Evan celebrates victory but doesn't notices the rest of Clara’s frozen body shattering apart. Then a janitor quickly comes by, sweeping it up, and running away. We then cut to Evan walking back to his room humming The Wrath, he opens the door and finds Dylan, Ryan, Lewis, and Khalil waiting for him.)

 

All: YAAAH!!!

 

(They all crowd him telling him how awesome he was.)

 

Lewis: Yo, you were badass!

 

Ryan: You were all *throws fists in air* BANG! BANG! And was all “Time to Freeze, B!tch!” WOO!

 

Dylan: Way to keep it cool, Mr. Chill. And I loved the “last time I checked, I’m white” part.

 

Evan: Thank you. It just came to me.

 

Dylan: There are still 8 people left in division two.

 

(Christian walks in the room, watching the next fight to find out who he’s going to fight next.)

 

Evan: So Christian, who do I fight next?

 

Christian: Uh...a guy called Bombin’ Lamar.

 

Evan: Okay. Let’s do this.

 

(Scene cuts to Evan fighting Bombin’ Lamar as he bounces around the stadium, tossing bombs at Evan. Evan manages to dodge them and tries freezing one, but it doesn't work. Evan conjures icy spikes and throws them at Lamar. Lamar’s suit catches on fire and melts the ice on contact. Lamar hurls a bomb at Evan. Evan catches it and throws it right back at Lamar. He’s impacted by the bomb and falls to the ground. Evan elbow drops him and roundhouse kicks him. Lamar just stands there dizzy. Evan kicks his Lamar, causing him to turn around. He then jams his right hand into Lamar's back and freezes the him on ice. Evan then rips the frozen Lamar's torso off with the head and arms still attached. Evan turns around and smashes it to the ground while still holding the spine shattering it, thus revealing the spine the ribs and skull frozen in place. Evan holds it up in triumph.)

 

Referee: WINNER BY KILLING BLOW! DARWIN CHILL!

 

(The crowd cheers and chant “DARWIN!” “DARWIN!” As that goes on, a hint of confidence arrives Evan.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): Now...who’s next?

 

(Cuts to Evan fighting an assassin named Venom Scorpion. He swings at Evan, but he dodges and a crafts an ice sword and uses it to deflect all the last blasts from the assassin. Venom Scorpion lashes out against Evan, who creates an ice dome to protect himself. Venom Scorpion throws a bomb at the dome and it explodes. Leaving a laughing Evan open for attack. Venom Scorpion dashes through Evan multiple times. Evan counters it with a spike punch to the face. Then a series of punches in return. Venom Scorpion takes out his blasters and blasts Evan. Evan manages to freeze some energy bullets but not enough. He ice slides over to Venom Scorpion the kicks him in the nuts and then the jaw. Venom Scorpion stumbles backwards. Then suddenly disappears. Venom Scorpion then appears behind Evan and slashes him and twirls both of his swords, one in each hand, and drags Evan towards himself for an attack. Then Venom Scorpion's blades start being covered in electricity and he swings them both, creating a homing lightning strike towards Evan, dealing much damage. Venom Scorpion attempts to stab Evan, but shots hit with a cold beam and is now frozen in ice. Then Evan summons a giant hail on Venom Scorpion which knocks him out and shatters him out. He then gets up for an attack, but Evan gets two icicles and spears each one into each of Venom Scorpion’s ears. He then kicks the assassin, behanding the head from the body, and lets all the blood spill from the neck area of the head as he freezes the blood solid on the ground, forimg spikes. Evan slams the head with the frozen spikey blood on it and picks it up, showing of his "trophy".)

 

Referee: WINNER BY KILLING BLOW! DARWIN CHILL!


(The Crowd Cheers and Evan raises his hands in the air in victory. Scene cuts to Evan, Dylan, Ryan, Lewis, Christian, and Khalil watching to fight between Stabby and Infrared. Stabby looks around and senses Infrared behind him and stabs him to death and the Referee shouts “WILL STABBY DEFEAT DARWIN? STAY TUNED!” Evan just nods his head.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): Bring him on.

 

(Scene cuts to Evan finishing off Stabby with his own knives, as he fall, Evan creates a bed of spiky icicles behind Stabby and the spikes impale Stabby.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): That was easy….

 

Referee: WINNER OF DIVISION TWO OF THE TOURNAMENT! DARWIN CHILL!

 

(A mysterious cloaked person steps into the arena.)

 

M. Person: You forgot about me..

 

Referee: It seems we forgot someone. What’s your ring name?

 

M. Person: The Champion Challenger.

 

Referee: Folks, there’s gonna be one last fight before he fights Greased Lighting! Consider it a wild card round, folks! Can Mr. Chill keep his cool, or will he melt under pressure?

 

C. Challenger: I don’t want an RV, I’ve come for revenge.

 

Evan (as Darwin): I don’t know you…

 

C. Challenger: You do….*takes off hood*

 

Evan (as Darwin): Sarah?!? How’d you escape the RV? And how the hell you find us?

 

Sarah: You thought you were the only one with “skills.” Now I’m here to finish you.

 

Dylan: *in Evan’s room* Look, guys! Evan’s fighting Sarah!

 

(Everyone crowds around the TV.)

 

Christian: No way!

 

Lewis: Are you serious?

 

Ryan: Aww Sarah’s gonna die!

 

(Cuts back to fight. Sarah pulls out two eskrima blades. And the Referee shoots in the air, making the match start.)

 

Sarah: It’s time for the ice to melt away…

 

(Sarah repeatedly slashes out at Evan. Evan stumbles and falls backward.)

 

Sarah: Gotcha!

 

(Evan kicks Sarah in the stomach, then throws her down on the ground.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): *thinking* Should I kill her here or wait later? I don’t know…

 

(Sarah gets up and spins around with her swords and clashes blades with Evan and his now summoned Ice blade.)

 

Sarah: Can’t you just die already?

 

Evan (as Darwin): Nope.

 

(Evan fires an ice ball, freezing Sarah in place.)

 

Evan (as Darwin): A little cold? I’ll help warm you up.

 

(Evan pulls out a bomb Lewis gave him and throws it at Sarah. She flies out of the arena.)

 

Sarah: Look’s like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!

 

(Everyone looks at the sky in shock. The Referee points to the sky.)

 

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

(The crowd cheers and Referee raises Evan’s arm.)

 

Referee: WINNER OF SURPRISE CHALLENGE! DARWIN CHILL!

 

Evan (as Darwin): So we get the RV?

 

Referee: Not yet, but now you have to fight…… GREASED LIGHTNING!

 

Evan (as Darwin): Ugggh.

 

(A mysterious spark of lightning strikes in the area and the spark conjures up Greased Lightning.)

 

G. Lightning: So you’re Darwin Chill. This time I will do what no other combatant has done. Put yo ass in the afterlife!

 

Evan (as Darwin): Yeah, well….. F@%# you!

 

Referee: Okay! This is the battle of between the champs of division One and division Two!

 

(The ref fires a shot into the air.)

 

Referee: Begin!

 

(Anthrax’s "Fight ‘Em Till You Can't" starts playing throughout the battle. Greased Light kicks a ball of lightning from his foot. Evan deflects it and shoots a stream of ice at him, Greased deflects it and elbows him. Evan stumbles back and creates a ice staff and smacks Greased Lighting. Lightning falls down and Evan attempts to punch him, but Lighting teleports away. Evan looks around for his opponent.)

 

Evan: Hey? Where’d he go?

 

(A blast of lightning hits Evan and he dodges away before he can be hit by another one and roundhouse kicks Greased lightning. Greased Lighting stumbles back and conjures lighting balls from the ground.)

 

G. Lightning: Not so fast now…

 

(Greased Lightning creates rays from the ground to trap Evan’s feet. Greased Lighting fires a stream of electricity at Evan. Evan creates and ice shield and the lighting breaks him away from the ground rays, along with breaking his shield.)

 

G. Lighting: Not so bad for an outlaw!

 

(Evan jumps back up and him and Greased Lighting charges themselves together fused with their elemental power. Evan wins the clash and falls on top of Greased Lighting and starts punching him in the face. Greased Lighting pushes him off with his free legs. Then the two get back up with their fists in the air.)

 

Greased Lighting: You know you’re outmatched, right?

 

Evan: You think so, huh?

 

G. Lighting: You know you’re never gonna defeat me, Chill.

 

(Evan launches an ice ball at Lighting. But he deflects with with a electricity shield. Evan continues throwing ice balls but they’re keep getting blocked by Greased Lighting.  Greased Lighting tries throwing lighting balls at Evan, but he decides to troll him and sliding away from them. Greased Lighting rapidly shoots balls at him, but he keeps sliding away like a boss. Greased Lighting conjures a larger ball and shoots it at Evan, but he creates an ice loop and the ball slides back towards Greased Lighting and gets shocked by his own element.)

 

Evan: You look shocked. Are you shocked?

 

(Evan conjures up several Ice pillars and slices them up with ice daggers. They all break apart and fall on Greased Lighting.)

 

G. Lighting: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

 

(Greased Lighting falls to the ground. He tries to get up, but Evan puts his foot on top of his chest and the Referee counts.)

 

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

(The crowd cheers as Greased Light tried to resist defeat, but Evan stomps his foot on Greased Lighting’s head, knocking him out. The referee raises his hand again.)

 

Referee: Now. the champs of division three and four will fight! Winner faces Mr. Chill in what I am sure to be the bloodiest fight in Killing Blow history!

 

(A giant minotaur with an goblin on his back stomps in the ring and a sumo wrestler enters the ring and face each-other with Evan in the middle of it.)

 

Referee: Helix and Ardaran, champion(s) of division three. Hailing from the River of Styx. Helix is one foul-mouthed little imp while Ardaran is a minotaur guardian of gates of Hell itself.  And Yokozuna, sumo wrestler from Tokyo, Japan, has 96 wins over his long and proud career! Which of these beefcakes will win? From what I know, it will be a clash of titans, that’s for sure! Now get it on!

 

(The Ref walks back and fires his gun. Causing the match to start. Evan runs for it as Ardaran and Yokozuna ram into one-another. Evan runs to the front seats where Ryan, Dylan, Lewis, Christian, and Khalil are seating.)

 

Evan: What am I gonna do?

 

Dylan: I can rig the game….

 

Christian: Well all I can say is that sumo better win. I put money of this, I betted the sumo wins the whole division and guess what? HE DID! Now if I want to win double if he beats the minotaur.

 

(A giant smash is heard as Yokozuna is grabbing the horns of Ardaran and Helix is pulling Yokozuna’s hair.)

 

Yokozuna: Prepare for the wrath of sumo wrestling!

 

(Yokozuna smashes Ardaran to the ground. He then stomps the ground, causing Ardaran to bounce back up, but Ardaran rams into Yokozuna and digs his claws deep into Yokozuna as Yokozuna screams in pain. Helix runs back to Ardaran’s back and talks to Yokozuna.)

 

Helix: Take that, fatso!

 

(Ardaran lifts Yokozuna with his spiked gauntlets and throws the sumo into the audience.)

 

Crowd: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Referee: Hey, don’t do that! You’ll hurt the people in the crowd!

 

Helix: Shut up yo bald, bearded face up and count the fatty!

 

Referee: *points at Yokozuna* ONE! TWO! THREE! WINNER(S)! HELIX AND Ardaran!

 

(Helix jumps on Ardaran’ head and raises his small arms in victory.)

 

Helix: We did it, Ardaran!

 

(Ardaran drops to his legs and arms and Helix jumps to his back a pose as a bull rider as Ardaran pretends to jumps in the air trying to get Helix off.)

 

Referee: AND NOW…. The fight we’ve all been waiting for…...THE CHAMPIONSHIP BATTLE! Darwin Chill…. VS…… HELIX AND ARDARAN!

 

(The crowd cheers and Helix/Ardaran turn and looks at Evan. Ardaran marches towards him. Evan turns to Dylan.)

 

Evan: Dylan! How can you rig this? Bull food? Goblin raid?

 

Dylan: Bomb! *gives some to Evan* They can go KABOOM.

 

Evan: Th-

 

(Ardaran grabs Evan from behind and smashes him to the ground. Helix turns and lands in front of Dylan.)

 

Helix: *kicks away bombs* Shove these up your a**, nerd!

 

(Ardaran beats up Evan with his spiked gauntlets as Helix continues to bad mouth Dylan. Looking on how Ardaran beats up Evan and hearing Helix cuss, Dylan realizes: The more Helix cusses, the stronger Ardaran gets. He then grabs Helix.)

 

Dylan: I’m gonna wash out your mouth, with soap! Probably the first time it’ll ever be clean!

 

(Dylan snatches Helix out of the air, shoves a grenade into Helix’s mouth, and throws him into the sky, where he explodes and green blood rains on Ryan, Dylan, Christian, Lewis, and Khalil.)

 

Dylan: Wow...
 

Khalil: Eeew. Why’d you do that?

 

Christian: You got goblin guts on these $500 Jordans, ya d!ck!

 

(Ardaran looks up as Helix explodes and Evan grabs the gauntlets and freezes them and shatters them. Evan kicks Ardaran’ head and he stumbles back.)

 

Evan: All brawn, no brains!

 

(Evan does a series of punches at Ardaran and slices and smashes him with an ice blade and ice hammer. Evan then smashes the ice blade on Ardaran’ head and conjures another ice hammer and smashes the two together in Ardaran’ head, showing and X-ray of Ardaran’ skull getting smashed. Ardaran then stands there dizzy and Evan gets out his ultimate weapon: his rubber chicken. Evan twirls the chicken and smacks Brome’s around with it before releasing the ultimate smack and Ardaran goes flying from the air and lands in the audience. The referee counts.)

 

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

(The crowd stands up and cheers wildly as Thin Lizzy’s "The Boys Are Back In Town" starts playing.)

 

Referee: *raises Evan’s arm* WINNER AND THIS YEAR’S KILLING BLOW WINNER! DARWIN CHILL!!!!

 

Crowd: Dar-WIN! Dar-WIN! Dar-WIN! Dar-WIN!

 

Evan: YES! YES! Beware of Cluck-Fu! HAHAHA! *whispers to* Ref Now, can me and my boys get the RV?

 

Referee: Yes. NOW you and your buddies can get the RV. You just have some paperwork to fill in, first.

 

(Ardaran stumbles towards Evan and the Referee.)

 

Ardaran: Do I still get the prize money from my division?

 

Referee: Of course!

 

Ardaran: Excellent… Oh, and congrats on winning, Darwin! Now if, you’ll excuse me… I must return to tartarus to torture Clara for her atheism, Lamar for his greed, Venom for murder, and Stabby for his insanity….

 

(Ardaran turns to a fiery portal while Evan and the Referee laugh and high-fives each other. We then cut to the whole area with the crowd cheering and a small shot of the arena. We then cut to Evan doing the paperwork to the get the prize money and the deluxe RV. Outside, Dylan, Ryan, Lewis, Christian, and Khalil are waiting.)

 

Dylan: Let’s go!

 

(They go outside but to find the prize RV.)

 

Referee: Six beds, neon lights, bathroom with shower, hot tub, sunroof, and the coating is so hard not even bullets and pentract it! It’s almost an overnight party bus!

 

(Everyone looks at one another.)

 

Evan: *with the suitcase with the million* Now we can ride in style! We’re almost halfway there! TO ARIZONA!
 






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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

mrsaturn77 said...
Apr. 4, 2016 at 9:02 pm
I might not be able to do fight scenes like that, but this was amazing!
 
Jackpot-the-GreatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 4, 2016 at 9:11 pm
Coolio! Thanks!
 
onedirection_loveyouliam said...
Mar. 11, 2016 at 8:11 am
Great story! I absolutely love it, keep writing as much as you can and have fun.
 
Jackpot-the-GreatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:49 am
Sure will. Cheers!
 
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