I Choose You | Teen Ink

I Choose You

May 11, 2018
By Anonymous

Elana was a very private person. No one ever knew what she was doing, thinking or where she was. She marched to her own drum and didn't really care what other people thought. She could be careless at times but deep down she had a good heart it just took the right person to bring it out. She would never admit that she was a little soft but soon this would all change.
Tori was outgoing but also a little secretive. She wasn't afraid to say what was on her mind and she definitely loved talking about herself but she also had her fair share of secrets as well. She didn't like people in her business even if you were close to her you always found out new things. One thing Tori hated was, was working which is where Tori and Elana come together. If she could spend the rest of her life at the beach doing nothing she 100% would.
It was near the end of october and Tori had just gotten fired from her job at flash pass for calling out too many times. She was upset because she needed money and she knew she would have to find a new job sooner or later but also relieved because she hated that stupid job and working in general. Months went by and eventually her mother made her get a job. Her girlfriend, (   ) worked at shoprite and suggested that she worked there. Tori reluctantly applied, (her mother forced her too). This ended up being the best thing she ever did.
She was so nervous on her first day. Tori didn't do well in new environments. She didn't do much on her own. It was about a week into working there when she met Elana, a bookrunner. She couldn't even describe the feeling she got when she first saw her. Butterflies fluttered around her stomach and it felt like everything else didn't matter for that second in time. She couldn't help but stare until Elana looked back at her. Her hair looked silky on top and she had these purpley brown curls cascading to her mid back. “Hello? Are you okay?” Tori snapped out of her trance quickly.
“Oh my god i'm so sorry. What did you say. I was just uh.. Yeah. what?” Toris face was beat red and she didn't even know what to say.
“Just hop on 12 please” Elana chuckled a little as she told tori where to go.
Tori had never been so embarrassed and she knew she had just blew her shot at becoming Elena's friend at the very least. Then Tori remembered she already had a girlfriend, Ally. It was now about 7:00 PM and Tori went on break. As she walked upstairs she walked past the smaller conferance room and saw Elana sitting there. She quickly looked away and walked past her into the bigger break room. She was way too nervous to sit with her. It was about 5 minutes into break and Tori gets a text from a random number saying “hey”.
She replied “who is this”.
The unknown sender responded and said “Elana”
Tori could feel the butterflies coming back and her face was getting red. She couldnt help but smile. Another text from Elana came in saying “Thanks for walking right past me”
Tori flustered typed back, “ I didn't think you wanted me to sit with you haha”
Tori saw those 3 dots that meant Elana was typing pop up and then they went away. She never got a text back after that.
Later that night she got a call from Ally asking to go to half apps with her, Elana and Elena's friend Helga. So of course Tori agreed to go so she could see Elana. Elana knew from the first time she saw Tori that she was the one she wanted. After half Apps that night Elana and Tori Talked everyday. Tori knew she was basically cheating on Ally but she had such strong feelings for Elana she couldn't stop. She also knew the spark between her and Ally was long gone. She had been wanting to end it but stayed in it because she felt bad and didn't really know what to do. The day after Tori and Ally's one year, Tori decided she had to end it because the feelings she had for Elana were only growing stronger.
Ally was heart broken. She really believed they would be together forever. Tori knew she would be okay eventually but for the time being it would be hard for Ally. It was easy for Tori because she knew it was over months ago and she had fallen in love with someone else. That night Tori snuck out of her friend Cassidy's house. Cassidy always had her back in everything she did. Whenever Tori had a problem she would go to her, Cass always knew what to say and no matter how stupid, crazy or ridiculous Tori was being cass had her back.
So the night they broke up Tori snuck out of Cassidy's house to go to Elana's. She was so nervous, she had never been to her house before and her heart was going crazy. They went downstairs when she got there and just sat on her couch. They lay on her couch and cuddled. Tori looked up at Elana and they locked eyes and it was like the first time she saw her when the whole world stopped. She could see nothing but beauty in her eyes and she couldn't stop staring into them. Elana brushed her hand across Toris face and her heart dropped. Elana finally just kissed her and it was the best moment of Toris life. She never wanted to forget this night.

It was a few months later and by now Elana and Tori were dating for about 2 months. Tori was in gym when she gets a text from her friend Cass that said “hey we need to talk”. Tori worried met her in the main hallway. “So I don't know if its true but i heard rumours about Elana cheating on you with Helga”.
“Who told you that?”
“Ally said she heard it from Helga's sister”
I broke down crying in the bathroom. I didn't know what to believe. When I asked Elana about it she denied it. I hesitated to believe her but i did anyone because after all that's what relationships are based off of right?
Later that night I get a call from Ally. I answer and there's a slight pause before she begins talking. “So Elana did cheat on you. Helga told me they did ‘stuff’”.
“Ok” was the only word I could get out before the tears started streaming out of my eyeballs. I texted Elana and just asked “why did you make me find out from Ally. why?” All she could do was apologize. Although she cheated she assured Tori that she was the one she wanted. Elana never begged for anyone like this Tori knew and she was never the type to want a relationship so the fact that she was sitting here begging for her forgiveness and a second chance proved to Tori that she really wanted this. Tori didn't really know what to do for the first time in her life. She always knew what she wanted and how she deserved to be treated especially in relationships. Tori didn't let people push her around like this but why does Elana have this hold on her.
After going back and forth with Elana all night, Tori decides to try and give her a second chance. She knew it wouldn't be easy to come back from this and once Toris trust is lost its very hard to get it back. Elana knew that. However Elana was willing to do anything for Tori. Elana had never felt like this before, she always cheated in her past relationships but never felt bad about it and never begs for forgiveness, she always got annoyed of the person she was with and the relationship never lasted very long at all. They wanted to make it work, they needed to make it work. Tori decided to make her choose and that would show her if she really cared about her or not. “It's me or her. Choose”.
“I have to choose between you and her?”
“Me? Or her?”
“I choose you”.


The author's comments:

This is a true story about my life 


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