Hide and Seek | Teen Ink

Hide and Seek

June 19, 2019
By strange_nugget BRONZE, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
strange_nugget BRONZE, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The problematic thing when playing hide and seek with your friends is when they forget about you and never notice. You spent ages searching for that perfect hiding spot and setting everything up- just for that one perfect round. Hiding in between corners, in between that bookshelf that took forever to move, studying the branches of the large tree outside. Plotting and debating whether or not to take that risk and climb to the highest branch. And so you take that risk. You use all of your might, all of your energy, just for this one round to prove something. Anything, to your so-called friends. 

The light turns into darkness. The sun becomes the many thousands of stars in the sky. Each shining with their own beauty. Each standing out from one another. Why can't I be like them? Shining like the rest, but yet so different and intriguing compared to others. The clouds fade and the moon rises. The laughter dies down, the talking slowly fades, though the world keeps spinning. Everything keeps moving on, and never stops to look back.

Maybe they're just on the other side of the house; maybe they are just waiting for me to give up. Maybe they are trying to win, but slowly and secretly coming up with a plan. Maybe they're just taking a quick break, but are going to return to this daring quest soon. Maybe someone got hurt. But maybe they forgot...but they wouldn't. They're my friends, I mean something to them. 

Would they forget about you? Would it matter to them if you stayed up in that tree until everyone had to leave? Would it matter to them that you missed the movie playing? Would they even care? Each time they talk about an event they didn't tell you about, each movie they go to see without you, each party you never go to, each activity you're never included in.

Do I really matter to them?

You think. Reflecting on every memory, every word you said, every joke you laughed at, everything you did with them.

Did I ever really enjoy being friends with them? Of course I did. We've all been friends for years now. A friendship for that long can't mean nothing.

Silence fills the empty void- not a single sound coming out from anywhere. The shadows appear, lurking behind trees, hiding behind objects. You're sitting there; wondering.

Would they truly forget about me?

The seconds turn into minutes. One minute becomes three. Three becomes ten. Ten becomes half an hour. A gentle breeze passes by, a hope of possibility blows right past your face. You cling onto these things. Dreams, hopes, wishes, aspirations, fantasies. Though they never really come true, there's a world of possibilities. You dwell in possibility. 

Patience. You wait until the coldness consumes you whole, until you forget that there's anything else in this universe besides hiding. A cool breeze continuously blows past you. You don't flinch. You don't grab your jacket even though you're freezing. It's no more than an arm's reach away. but you still don't reach for it. You don't move. Hollow. Forgotten. Abandoned. Hiding doesn't matter anymore. They don't care. You don't care. 

The winds pick up; each nipping at your face, your skin, everything. You still don't move. Would they truly forget? Is this just some stupid joke? Or is it a mistake? Was this planned? The once blue sky disappears further and further into the night. The stars still shining brightly as always. The world keeps rotating on it's spinning axle.

After decades of isolation, you decide to climb down. Branch by branch, memory by memory. Every memory replaying in front of your eyes, releasing each one as you climb down. Saying goodbye to each one; saying goodbye to the person you use to be. Hiding in the background; hiding what you truly are to fit in. A warm glow appears from the house. Laughter follows in suit. The look on each of their faces says it all. They don't care. They don't notice. Each lunch period, when you get kicked out of the table. Each gathering outside of school that you're not invited to. Each inside joke that you don't understand. None of it matters anymore. None of it matters that they don't care. At the same time, you are hurt. You are betrayed. A stab to the heart. A piece of your childhood gone. Memories taken and shattered like glass. But you are glad to move on. Glad to be happy, and to be free.

Some might say you killed a person, a whole personality. Some might say you've changed, some might say you're "really different now". None of it matters anymore; you are you. You are the person you want to be. The one you feel happy and enjoy life as. Not someone with a mask on, covering themselves to fit in. Hiding and keeping quiet because you don't want to be alone and viewed as different. You are different, but you are unique. Hide and Seek. Hide what you want to hide to fit in and to not be found as different. But it never truly disappears, it seeks its way out. Eventually.

"The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me."

-Haruki Murakami

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This article has 1 comment.

on Jul. 3 at 6:46 pm
StarNightGirl GOLD, Boyds, Maryland
12 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's under no obligation to give us what we want."

This is amazing. Your words are powerful, and your descriptions are vivid. Keep up the incredible writing!

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