F*cked Up | Teen Ink

F*cked Up

January 14, 2019
By Anonymous

The acidic burn of the vodka scorched my throat. I was halfway down the bottle and I could start feeling myself getting lighter and lighter with every sip. The buzz from the alcohol helped me ease up, I could almost forget about her. Just thinking about her made me want to get even more fucked up. I wanted to be so f*cked up that she would be the last thing on my mind, so I chugged the rest of the bottle. The clear liquid seared my throat but my discomfort couldn’t stop me, I needed to forget.

All of a sudden I could feel something fighting with me for the vodka. Something snatched away the bottle from me before I could even register what happened.

“Calm down Nick, you’re way too f*cked up dude.”

I knew that voice, it was Chris. I got out of the sofa to grab my drink but as soon I got up I fell back down. I could feel the sofa’s spring push back ever so slightly. I wanted to try that again, so I jumped up on the sofa. As soon as I fell back down again the sofa pushed upwards, so I jumped again and again and again.

“WHOAH, dude, dude, dude I feel so light!”

“Nick, chill stop doing dumb sh*t”

I could feel Chris arms grabbing me down to the sofa and him holding me down like a child.  I wailed my arms trying to swat him away, but his grip on me only grew stronger. Since when did he get so ock? I should probably go to the gym with him next time. Maybe if I was ock she wouldn’t have left me.

My thoughts were cut short. Nick grabbed my flailing hands looked super pissed off.

“Yo f*ck off like im trynna like I’m trynna have fun .”

I could hear him sighing heavily and then he creased his forehead like he was thinking about something. While he was distracted I took the opportunity to do the dash. As soon as I got out of the sofa I crashed onto the table. My head hit the cold glass table and the shot glasses fell over, drowning me in freezing liquid. My forehead was stinging but all I could do was laugh. I was dying of laughter, it was so hysterical how pathetic I was.

“Nick, I think we should leave right now”, Chris said with concern laced in his voice.

He held out his hand waiting for me to grab onto it. I raised my head and looked at his face, it was a blur of colors swimming around an empty canvas. I reached my wobbly hand out for him to grab, which he did. His arm slowly pulled me up letting my body regain it’s balance slowly. As soon as I stood upright he put his arm around my shoulder and walked me to the exit.

We were met with a harsh gust of wind that cut into our faces. I was shivering and my lumpish legs couldn’t walk straight, I was toppling over Chris every other second. He helped me keep balance as we walked down the street.

It was pitch-black outside and the only sounds that could be heard was the occasional car speeding past the empty roads. It was a comfortable silence, helping me catch up to my thoughts and sober up. It wasn’t long though, until I thought of her again.

“Why she lefy me man” I managed to get out. “Whad I did wrong?”

Once the first tear fell the rest came down flowing like a river. The sounds of sobbing grew louder with every passing second. I was drowning in my own self-pity.

“Nothing.” he softly replied, “She’s just stupid. I’ll order us an Uber man, let’s get you home safe and sound.”

“I’mmm fine, I can walk home bye myself, don worry about me.”

“Too late I already ordered it, its getting here in a minute.”

Sure enough a black car pulled up to the side of the street. Chris dragged me to it making sure that I didn’t trip or hurt myself. The driver rolled down the window and asked “Chris?”. Chris nodded his head and opened the door. He guided me into a seat and locked in my seatbelt, following me in a second later. Why isn’t he buckling his seatbelt?

The car was quiet, too quiet. I could hear my own muddled thoughts. I was thinking about her. I needed a distraction, I needed to forget. Chris as if he knew asked for the aux cord and started playing music.

6ix9ine’s voice rang throughout the car numbingly loud. I couldn’t hear anything but the song. My own thoughts were being drowned out by 6ix9ine’s rapping. My words morphed into his lyrics and the world disappeared, I could only hear the song and feel myself moving along to it.

“B*tch, I'm silly Up the chopper, shoot your sh*t up, let's get busy” I sang along.

The car drove through the road, booming with the sound of rap. I was  so lost in the moment, letting the music consume me that I didn’t notice what was about to happen. A truck was speeding down the lane going at an insane speed.

It was moving towards us, not stopping for even a single second. Chris’s scream reverberated throughout the car as soon as he noticed that it wasn’t slowing down. His loud scream brought me out of my trance and back into reality. Suddenly the driver swerved the car in an attempt to evade the oncoming truck.  The hard swerve pushed me to the side of the car and Chris toppled on top of me.

“F*cking sh*t” the driver screamed as we came into contact with the truck.

The trucks front slammed into the hood of the car crushing it inwards. It was at that moment that I knew we were f*cked. I felt relieved though. At l

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